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Conception

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Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)

999 replies

DulcetMoans · 11/02/2015 21:30

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 38 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2292480-Jazz-up-your-ROC-Invoke-a-Wankban-Shake-your-Beaver-and-Find-Cupboard-Love-with-the-Just-Shagging-Viroids-Dont-forget-to-Cup-and-Run-its-JS-38?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2299801-JSing-Grads-turn-21-Weve-got-the-Key-to-the-door-cosy-wombles-and-a-drawer-of-dirty-spoons?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
24
justtheonethen · 14/02/2015 15:52

ainat what was the delivery?

lildottie · 14/02/2015 17:56

hi all

just definitely have Wine and Thanks

jelly I'm feeling good. don't feel pg yet! only mild symptoms, some cramping but that's it really. my 7wk scan is on 5 march.

we had our offer accepted on a house we want today! yay!

jellypi3 · 14/02/2015 18:13

Wooooooo go lil :D

Jcandy · 14/02/2015 18:20

Yay lil that's great news :)

Cd11 here for me today and had some awesome valentines shagging earlier Smile been for a walk and got an M&S meal for two to have in a bit. It comes with pink bubbles and you know what I think I'm just going to drink it and enjoy it! First drink I've had in a while!

jellypi3 · 14/02/2015 18:20

Cd 8, at a friends still. Is it ethically wrong to shag at a friends house? What if there are spillages

jellypi3 · 14/02/2015 18:40

Sorry I lied. Cd7

SeldomAthleticFC · 14/02/2015 19:05

Hello. I think you are the lot for me as I know nothing about this ovulation stuff other freds are chatting about. And OH and I have been banging like an unlatched gate on a windy night.
I'm CD24 - cycle normally 28+ but recently 25-27, possibly on account of being a little bit old.
Poas twice already - BFN - which isn't surprising because it's probably too early to tell even if I was pg.
Feeling odd and think I could be pg. I had a really vivid dream that a random woman (who somehow had access to my pee) held up a stick, saying "you're pregnant" and it's sent me slightly mental.

Hobbit19 · 14/02/2015 19:15

Ha ha welcome Seldom, we have dreams about weeing on our hands sticks too! How long have you been ttc?
DH bought me a 'fitbit', for V day, one of those bracelets thar track your activity levels - it looks like an electronic tag. But I have walked 2.5 miles today without trying, even if I do look like a delinquent.

SeldomAthleticFC · 14/02/2015 19:25

A fitbit, One?! And they say romance is dead! My dad bought my mum a pressure cooker for their first wedding anniversary. Sweet!
We're not exactly ttc, so much as seeing how things go. For 4 months. I haven't been giving it much thought until this month, on account of that sodding dream. Now I'm bloody obsessed. No dreams about peeing on myself yet, though. I guess that's a good sign?

Hobbit19 · 14/02/2015 19:29

I know, he is trying to help me get fit again bless him. It's weird how much dreams affect you isn't it? I had a similar dream to you and had to POAS to check I wasn't upduffed (even though I knew I wasn't) otherwise I wouldn't have been able to concentrate all day!

SeldomAthleticFC · 14/02/2015 19:47

Oh, One. Our poor dream-befuddled brains!
If a fitbit was what you wanted, then that's a good present. I'm getting fed - I hope. That'll do for me!

CountryGal4 · 14/02/2015 20:15

JC snap and snap pet cd 10 and awesome vals day :D if you catch my js ing drift

Welcome seldom. We try to stick to the not pissing until actually late here. Saves a lot of of heart ache

Hobbit19 · 14/02/2015 20:29

Yep we 'try' to stick to that ha ha. To be fair I thought I was 15 dpo when I POAS, I think however, it was more like 2dpo. Oh the shame... Smile Going on holibobs tomorrow though and will not be PO anything until I get back which will be CD37 and 1 day before AF is due.

SeldomAthleticFC · 14/02/2015 21:03

Ah, thanks for filling me in on the JS etiquette, Country. I shall remember to stick to the not pissing rule (or at least not to let on if I don't).

honeysucklejasmine · 14/02/2015 21:08

Welcome Seldom! I LOLed at "banging like a gate...." got to be in next thread title! Grin

Aurora You've lost me! What did you name change from?! who are you?!

We had a Chinese and watched Wreck It Ralph which is what we did on our first date. sickening

CountryGal4 · 14/02/2015 21:17

Haha seldom some of us do slip. I did last month. Turned out I iced late so I thought I was mega late and pissed on all the sticks. We don't always stick to it... We try some times it doesn't work out

SeldomAthleticFC · 14/02/2015 22:25

Thanks, Honeysuckle. All my own work! Smile
I shall try not to piss on sticks, but I can't promise anything. I'm definitely hormonal and slightly unhinged.

jellypi3 · 14/02/2015 22:49

Hi seldom

Viroids I am so fucking drunk. Sorry!

auroraboringalis · 15/02/2015 07:09

Hah hah hah jelly Grin
YesYes it's me. The aus in your maus.

kezaroo · 15/02/2015 08:24

Morning viroids! Hope you are all having a pleasant weekend?

The witch is due here tomorrow and so far, no signs. Literally none... Okay, apart from wanting to scoff the entire contents of the fridge.
This is the first month I have actually felt nervous... Confused

DulcetMoans · 15/02/2015 08:53

I may be in a minority here but I think a fitbit would be a great gift! I want one! If it was that and a cuddle at least I think you did alright one!

Important question jelly, did the drink lead you to the immoral act of shagging in a friends house?! Shockand if so, did you keep it quiet or just drunken quiet which isn't quiet at all!!?

Now I made this thread extra lucky, can we get a BFP going so I can prove I did it right?!

OP posts:
jellypi3 · 15/02/2015 09:40

Morning all! Checking in with a surprisingly un-sore head!

kez gx for you this month! Are you going to POAS tomorrow?

jellypi3 · 15/02/2015 09:41

No dulcet there was no shagging sadly. It was 3:00am (a side of the night I haven't seen in a long time) and DP was sufficiently trashed to just collapse snoring lol

honeysucklejasmine · 15/02/2015 09:56

Morning.

Drunk is fun Jelly! Sad for no shagging though!

Dulcet sorry sweets, I'm only CD8 or something. (Jelly, how many days am I?) No stick pissing for me. Now, Kez is an entirely different matter!

kezaroo · 15/02/2015 10:13

I will be POAS on Tuesday, if she doesn't show up tomorrow.

Was tempted first thing this morning but with how much I have spent on piss sticks, I'm becoming tight and don't want to waste them!