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Conception

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Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)

999 replies

DulcetMoans · 11/02/2015 21:30

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 38 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2292480-Jazz-up-your-ROC-Invoke-a-Wankban-Shake-your-Beaver-and-Find-Cupboard-Love-with-the-Just-Shagging-Viroids-Dont-forget-to-Cup-and-Run-its-JS-38?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2299801-JSing-Grads-turn-21-Weve-got-the-Key-to-the-door-cosy-wombles-and-a-drawer-of-dirty-spoons?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
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24
kezaroo · 16/02/2015 10:21

Morning viroids...

Awaiting impending af here, although she hasn't reared her ugly head just yet! Don't even feel like she will... Watch this space!

jellypi3 · 16/02/2015 10:32

gx kez!!

Stoatystoat · 16/02/2015 11:08

Thinking of you lil.

Fingers crossed kez.

Such a headfuck for me, so many stretchy sensations, tender boobs, pant snot. Surely there's something in there growing.

SeldomAthleticFC · 16/02/2015 11:20

Fingers crossed, kez
I feel the same, stoat - I've pretty much convinced myself I'm pg - pant snot, weird sensations, tender boobs, dry eyes when I woke up. But then I had a brownish bloody discharge this morning and decided AF was on her way and threw away my cup of early morning wee
I'm having cramps now, so I guess this it. But I felt so sure I was pg. It's a headfuck all right!

Muddytoes1 · 16/02/2015 12:16

Ooo gx Kez! I'm Dpo 11 so thinking to test in the next couple of days. Boo to the witch Seldom Wine

Lil and Stoat sending positive thoughts your way.

kezaroo · 16/02/2015 12:30

Thanks for the Gx's! Still not showed up and here at the 'symptoms' so far...

Mild headache (I never get headaches)
Tired (like I could fall asleep right now)
Slight twinges but not af style
Boobs are massive! (They are normally big but by god...) and they are very very veiny
Literally been to the loo like 10 times this morning, 3 of which before I had even left the house! And people are commenting at work at how often I've gone here! (Must point out for a wee....)

I hope to god this is the month. Normally the witch has arrived by now!

lildottie · 16/02/2015 12:58

gx *kez

stoat when is your next scan?

still waiting for phone call with results here

kezaroo · 16/02/2015 13:02

Gx for you lil xx

kezaroo · 16/02/2015 13:25

Hang on... I forgot I did that test yesterday which came up bfn! Don't know why I am getting my hopes up!

jellypi3 · 16/02/2015 13:37

stop with the symptom spotting folks! It's very un-js'er like Wink (except you stoat, i am convined you are upduffed).

Lil did they give an idea when you will hear?

lildottie · 16/02/2015 15:04

hcg 6 so still positive but only just. another blood test next Monday

CountryGal4 · 16/02/2015 15:15

Gx for you viroids with tricky beans!

jellypi3 · 16/02/2015 16:02

that's good news lil gx that it goes higher in the next few days. This is going to be a tough week for you eh

Jcandy · 16/02/2015 16:27

Sorry you're in limbo lil Sad hoping for it to increase by next week

Ainat266 · 16/02/2015 16:29

Sorry I've been absent without notice viroids. I've had a tough few days. Mostly related to my mood and letting things get to me too much.

I need to read the Fred and play catch up. x

jellypi3 · 16/02/2015 16:45

hope you're ok ain :(

on a more positive note DP got promoted today (btard)

honeysucklejasmine · 16/02/2015 18:48

PMA Lil Flowers

Don't feel like i have a virus. Confused Oh wells!

I popped my nandos cherry today. I feel reassured that it is in fact a rip off, as i suspected.

honeysucklejasmine · 16/02/2015 18:49

Congress to your DF Jelly!

jellypi3 · 16/02/2015 18:59

Nandos a rip off?!? You mad?!? I love nandos. :)

And thanks, he's happy. So am I. Every penny he earns brings me closer to giving up work lol

kezaroo · 16/02/2015 19:18

Flowers lil that's good news.

Hobbit19 · 16/02/2015 19:21

PMA to Lil and Stoat, come on lickle beans. Sending you love all the way from Austria. So far today I have been proper spesh at skiing. And fitbit does not record skiing as exercise so I have had to walk 5 miles as well as skiing today. Having wine to celebrate my awesomeness. AF due on Monday, having weird v light random spotting, have had it on and off all month. Think it is probably just my cycle settling. Gx for you tomorrow Kez

Muddytoes1 · 16/02/2015 19:25

Ok so was really naughty, broke the rules and poas dpo 11, what dya reckon? I don't know how strong it has to be but I can def see a line. Will do another one tomorrow.

Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)
CountryGal4 · 16/02/2015 19:31

muddy you cheeky minx. That's def a line to me!

CountryGal4 · 16/02/2015 19:32

Being a dullard again what's pma?

Muddytoes1 · 16/02/2015 19:34

Pma = positive mental attitude

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