Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)

[DulcetMoans]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 38 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2292480-Jazz-up-your-ROC-Invoke-a-Wankban-Shake-your-Beaver-and-Find-Cupboard-Love-with-the-Just-Shagging-Viroids-Dont-forget-to-Cup-and-Run-its-JS-38?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2299801-JSing-Grads-turn-21-Weve-got-the-Key-to-the-door-cosy-wombles-and-a-drawer-of-dirty-spoons?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Thanks again, I have been feeling really alone in all this and to know you are thinking of me at this horrible time is a huge comfort. My real life friends who know haven't been this forthcoming.

Prosecco sounds lovely!

lil I hesitate to answer your question because anytime I do with the answer I need to give it jinxes it and I get more!! Still on pant watch.

I really appreciate the positive vibes. Come on little stoat, you can do it!

Stoat were here . Never feel alone

Glad today was okay Stoat, didn't realise you were a teacher too, you should definitely not be at work! One of the female teachers in my dept is 8 weeks pregnant post miscarriage and I would happily give her all 12 weeks off if necessary to make sure mini bean was okay. So take it easy. Loving that you are still managing to be a JSer during your dreams if not in real life though!
Good work on the prosecco Country, we are on end-of-term bubbles here also, fancy ones courtesy of a wedding gift!

Not a teacher teacher yorkshire I work at a university mainly doing research but I am covering someone else's seminars once a week. I really don't know how you school teachers do it being on show all the time. I'm really lucky I can work from home at times like this. Except for today! But it did me good anyway. Glad it's the weekend though. You sound lovely to work for, enjoy half term!

I get ya stoat and yes never feel alone. I can't pretend to understand mc as I've never had one. but I know how this journey sucks and I can only draw on how I felt when our other 5 embryos didn't make it. if you ever need a one on one rant you can pm me anytime

Aw stoat big hugs hun willing mini stoat on

Nothing to report here cd9 donning the Cape this weekend let the shagging commence

Ps anyone going to see 50 shades movie??seen a warning signs for midwives as its released today + 40 weeks = 20th November request annual leave now! haha

I saw that too daisy made me laugh. not planning on watching the film but if that's all its gonna take to get a bfp I'm there!

stoat we're all here for you. I just wish we could do more for you. I am rooting for you stoaty bean.

I had parents meetings all day today. One got interrupted because the fire alarm went off. yet another chaotic moment in the life at my school. I love my job, but I don't think I've ever been so glad to get to the holidays. what an exhausting half term!

So glad you had some positive experiences today stoat. Come on stoaty bean!

Keeping everything crossed for mini stoat! Your boss sounds lovely and very understanding, make sure you don't struggle into work when you don't feel like it as you need to look after yourself and your little bean. In terms of your real life friends - not trying to excuse them if they are being unsupportive - but until my recent BFP I had absolutely no clue about what a worrying time this is - and (touch wood) I haven't even had any problems. So I'm sure they do care but if they haven't been pregnant themselves they may just have no idea just how scared you are. But you have everyone on here and a few unfortunately know exactly what you are going through, sometimes it's easier to talk to 'strangers' anyway. Big hugs

Aww, its times like this that i am so glad for MN and the JSers. Who could do this alone?!

Glad you're feeling squiffy Country, always pleasant.

We had Mai Tais in the hit tub and a good shag. Lovely!

P.S. Hell no to 50 Shades. Not paying £20 when i have a live show for free at home!

Morning viroids!
Checking in from (not so) sunny Oxford.

stoat I'm relieved it was ok for you yesterday. I'm still keeping everything crossed for a sticky bean.

lil I guess it must have been. I mean the OPK wasn't positive but it had a second line that wasn't a squinter so I'll see how it looks today! I just hope it means a longer LP and not a short cycle lol. How are you feeling btw?

honey hot tub sounds lovely! I wish I had one right now. My back is killing me!

kez hey :) gx for POAS in Irish fashion

I had two G&T's and a few Malibu and cokes last night so was a fun night! Although I couldn't DTD. My friend was sleeping next door and I couldn't get in the mood! Damn it! I've been a terrible JS'er this month! CD 7 and no shags yet!!!

Morning!

Stoat I'm rooting for your little bean! Gx for a good result this week. Yes going through this stuff is very lonely. A lot of people just don't know what to say. I was lucky that a member of my team had had mc and ectopic so knew how I felt - she made me take time off work and sent me regular messages. Your boss sounds lovely

I do to think dh has got me a valentines card. I made him one last night coz I never got to shops. Not a fan of it in general and I'm working at the bar tonight, romantic!

Jelly it's possible you're an early icer!

Quiet weekend for me, no valentines action as just me and the cat and that is so so wrong off to the gym later

jelly get shagging!

I iced cd 18 last month la (according to ff) so doubt it!

black I would get shagging but I feel bad at a friends house lol.

Well it gone very quiet on the BFP front ladies. When are we all due to POAS Viroids? I'm due on the 23rd for round two of pissing this month!

Af arrived. Hmph. Happy valentines!

Hmph indeed just! at least you can enjoy a large glass of wine!

Have wine just!!!

I'm not due to test until march some time!

Enjoy some wine just

If AF doesn't make an appearance I will test Thursday. Fully expect to see her before then though

I agree on the wine front.. just maybe wait til a little later in the day..

I am in a grumpy mood this morning and trying to not get annoyed with dh. He's even gone to the shop to get bread and stuff and made me breakfast. I am sure it's me being unreasonable. We were supposed to be going out for breakfast though and going shopping. Apparently we're not allowed to because we now have to wait for a delivery..

Any chance it's a special valentines delivery Ainat?! thinking Daniel Craig in blue swimming trunks turning up on the doorstep, probably not on valentines day though

Just popping me head in to ask for someone to slap me (NOT in 50 shades sort of way!!!!!) for poafuckings at cd11 for no good reason. Mortified with self. Name changed so that I can punish myself for being so utterly stupid.

Must shag tonight even though no ewcm. Right?

Fuck.

Here's your hooyah aurora yes don thy cape tonight!

Happy valentines lovers!

I am not JSing due to current events but I am being selfless and ensuring DH gets a bit of ahem, relief. He says he feels too guilty and selfish and then gets into it.

Had a treat of going to a different wing of the hospital today as my Dad had an appointment, he's ok, just been having some tests. Needless to say, we have both had our share of instruments being inserted for investigations this week. He really didn't want to take me as thinks I've had enough of being up there, but there was no one else available and at least I was near my ward if need be.

I had to delay my breakfast in bed due to chaperoning duties but have just had my brunch for lunch instead. We swapped cards and v small gifts. Although my love isn't tangible to post on FB, DH has been such a rock this last week, I know the meaning of true love.

Thanks stoat.
I'm such a waffle.
Your comment about your dh "getting into it" made me lol. Such an obvious guy thing.

Thanks for being kind viroids. Will definitely be enjoying some wine later, friends birthday party so will pretend I'm pleased I can consume my body weight in wine!