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Conception

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Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)

999 replies

DulcetMoans · 11/02/2015 21:30

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 38 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2292480-Jazz-up-your-ROC-Invoke-a-Wankban-Shake-your-Beaver-and-Find-Cupboard-Love-with-the-Just-Shagging-Viroids-Dont-forget-to-Cup-and-Run-its-JS-38?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2299801-JSing-Grads-turn-21-Weve-got-the-Key-to-the-door-cosy-wombles-and-a-drawer-of-dirty-spoons?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

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24
Lemondrizzletwunt · 25/02/2015 20:21

Non welcome back! How was the holidaaaaaaay? Are you brown? Or red?

CountryGal4 · 25/02/2015 20:25

It is a little darker in real life. Boo bastard things. Never mind dtd anyway earlier

Lemondrizzletwunt · 25/02/2015 20:31

NEW TACTIC FOR GETTING UPDUFFED!!!

lildottie · 25/02/2015 21:03

I'd say negative too country

jelly its the wtf cycle so who knows. I was warned if ivf didn't work next few cycles could be irratic so who knows what ivf and a mc will have done to me. like I said before hospital haven't exactly been a wealth of information!

Stoatystoat · 25/02/2015 21:50

The men in white coats don't know a fat lot in my opinion lil! There's a whole lot of unexplained isn't there

Hobbit19 · 25/02/2015 22:08

It's almost as if mc is a taboo in the medical world as well as RL. Seems a little outdated in 2015.

Hobbit19 · 25/02/2015 22:30

P.s. DH has just offered to do a handstand post DTD 'incase it helps'. Ha ha bless him.

Stoatystoat · 25/02/2015 22:32

Anyone see what happens when you wear a cape on TV? (Madonna, BRITS)

Lemondrizzletwunt · 25/02/2015 22:41

I'm watching it on +1 Stoat! Is she batshit crazy like usual?

Stoatystoat · 25/02/2015 22:45

I don't want to spoil it.
But someone is for the high jump.

Lemondrizzletwunt · 25/02/2015 22:48

Shock I'm looking forward to this!

honeysucklejasmine · 25/02/2015 23:05

Ahem.

Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)
honeysucklejasmine · 25/02/2015 23:06

This one even!

Stoatystoat · 25/02/2015 23:08

Love it

MrsWatts · 25/02/2015 23:12

Missed Madonna's antics as was too busy DTD with my hubby!
Our first time since his vasectomy reversal! I now feel like I can officially be part of this thread!

Lemondrizzletwunt · 25/02/2015 23:23

OMFG!!!! Have just watched it again on Youtube to make sure I didn't imagine it! I bet that hurt like a bastard.

And everyone knows that proper JSing capes are only elbow-length, trust Madge to get it wrong, gah

Stoatystoat · 25/02/2015 23:28

She always has to outsex everyone. That'll learn her.

I have had a hysterical laugh that I never though I would

lildottie · 25/02/2015 23:44

poor Madge! you're all cruel laughing at an old ladies misfortune! Grin

Stoatystoat · 25/02/2015 23:47

In my defence I'm laughing at twitters reaction!

LaLaLaaaa · 26/02/2015 06:45

The thud madonna made was spectacular! But I did feel sorry for her, it looked sore! Good on her for carrying on

Hobbit19 · 26/02/2015 07:00

Congrats Mrs W!

honeysucklejasmine · 26/02/2015 07:25

The temp has finally risen! Of course i am now paranoid that we missed the window! Oh wells, there should have been some sperm swimming around!

Gaggia i have zoflora! Guide me, oh wise one, on it's use!

jellypi3 · 26/02/2015 07:35

Morning viroids.

lil and the rest, I need your charting wisdom help! All month my temps have been between 36.2 and 36.4. Last two days they were 36.6 and 36.61. Today they were 36.4 again. FF confirmed ovulation but does that seem a bit weird to you? Chart attached!

Yay for icing honey!!!

Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)
honeysucklejasmine · 26/02/2015 07:51

Looks fine to me Jelly. I'm sure it'll stay above the cover line, which is allyu neseed. Now, how are you sharing the chart like that? (How do I do it?)

jellypi3 · 26/02/2015 08:10

The only way I have found is to go on the FF website and log in, then on the calendar there's a show chart button. You press that and it opens a chart you can save and post. I have no idea how to copy a chart from my phone (the only way I have done it is to take a screen shot of the app open lol)

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