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Conception

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Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)

999 replies

DulcetMoans · 11/02/2015 21:30

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 38 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2292480-Jazz-up-your-ROC-Invoke-a-Wankban-Shake-your-Beaver-and-Find-Cupboard-Love-with-the-Just-Shagging-Viroids-Dont-forget-to-Cup-and-Run-its-JS-38?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2299801-JSing-Grads-turn-21-Weve-got-the-Key-to-the-door-cosy-wombles-and-a-drawer-of-dirty-spoons?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
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24
honeysucklejasmine · 25/02/2015 12:47

I am over my hissy fit this morning! But still a bit frustrated. Sooooo boring waiting to ice! Grrr!

Noni good to see you sweetheart!

Stoat I hope it's a good session. Smile

auroraboringalis · 25/02/2015 12:48

Yes jelly. Also I supposed because I hadn't had a period since DC was conceived in 2013 until the one at start of feb so I have no suggested stats either.
I think your pains are uhm gas bubbles? Grin

jellypi3 · 25/02/2015 13:02

I'm CD 18 today. They could be gas but I'm not too sure, I normally know when I've got gas (I tend to bloat quite badly).

I'll just ignore them :)

auroraboringalis · 25/02/2015 13:09

Maybe you can name them. See if you can differentiate between the twinges. You can call them Bob, Valerie, and Archimedes. Then you can assign them colour-coded pain threshold markers, and imagine them playing twister. Should keep you occupied until Friday.

jellypi3 · 25/02/2015 13:25

haha that's just a tad random Wink

lildottie · 25/02/2015 13:32

JC buy a fiesta. I love my fiesta. She's called fiesty. Ford have the ability to play your music on your phone via bluetooth. you'll never need cds again!

auroraboringalis · 25/02/2015 13:36

Just a tad random? How disappointing.

jellypi3 · 25/02/2015 13:43

my peugeot does this too lil. It doesn't have a CD player though which is the annoying thing. But i play most of my music off my phone :)

CountryGal4 · 25/02/2015 14:06

I'm cd 20 and having some odd twinges but cm suggests icing was done with a couple of days ago hmm

CountryGal4 · 25/02/2015 14:38

Sorry cd 21

jellypi3 · 25/02/2015 15:30

I'm the same with odd twinges country

Anyone heard from pooch recently????

lildottie · 25/02/2015 16:44

hooyas the lot of you! stop analysing every twinge!

cd7 and down to just the tiniest amount of spotting today. cleared out dhs pipes this morning and will commence shagging in a few days. I'm half desperately excited to finally have sex again, but other half of me is dreading it because of what it represents.

LaLaLaaaa · 25/02/2015 17:50

Hello all ye symptom spotters!! Hooyah!

Lils right, you're going to drive yourselves mad!

Lil glad you're getting back on the bike - it would be lovely if you got a bfp from JSIng

jellypi3 · 25/02/2015 17:58

Haha lil that's a great way of putting it. Cleared out his pipes ;)

I'll stop "symptom" spotting though in our defence I don't think any of us are saying these are symptoms. More questioning what they are. I've never had a burning Womble before.

I really can't be fucked with going shopping today but I am literally out of food. Bad times.

CountryGal4 · 25/02/2015 18:08

Definately not symptom spotting here either. Just thought 'twas dead weird. Currently having a bath the gear up to tonight's dtd. Going to keep JSing. Quick hypothetical question. On an opk if you get a line as dark as control but not as wide is this a positive??

LaLaLaaaa · 25/02/2015 18:12

Country I would say colour is important so that would be positive.

I used to get all manner of weird womble twitches around icing. And it would be painful when it happened

lildottie · 25/02/2015 18:42

thickness can vary test to test country so hypothetically if a non jser had something like that I'd say they might ice tomorrow or day after latest Wink

thanks la though I don't think it will technically be jsing, the thought of having no clue when I will ice this cycle already has me clutching the bbt and digging the opks out the back of the cupboard!

Hobbit19 · 25/02/2015 18:43

My womble does all kind of weird pains, hence why I think I'm oving every 5 seconds. Although those of you using contraband don't seem much clearer anyway not that any of you are using contraband.
Noninks, sorry about you BFN, in the same boat here. Have been good and not tested today which is lucky because I have had a proper shit day at work and hence forth with shall be drinking wine. (Figure I've had enough BFNs to make that ok). I now have not one but two boys in year 11 who want to kick the shit out of me. But, you know, they are both mentally ill and drug users so at least they are unpredictable or anything!!!! Didn't feel so bad when it was just one of them but now it is starting to feel a little personal. MEH.

jellypi3 · 25/02/2015 18:51

Fucking hell one can't you get them kicked out???

lil will it not be a similar time to your other cycles?

It's fine my burning Womble has gone now. I really hope ff confirms icing soon for fuck sake

CountryGal4 · 25/02/2015 18:58

Crap really?? I was convinced id
Iced Sunday. Good job I'm JSing quite frankly. currently led naked in bed waiting for dh to realise I'm not downstairs

Jcandy · 25/02/2015 18:59

Yes I love the colour too! It makes me smile when I see it. Fiesta would be my second choice lil I listen to the radio in the car so that side of things doesn't bother me too much!

Oh one that sounds awful! Why on earth would they say that??

Hobbit19 · 25/02/2015 19:00

I'm working on it Jelly, but excluding students with only a few weeks to go before their GCSE exams is really difficult. Think they will be removed from my lessons but not confirmed yet (SLT know that I won't let it lie though so I imagine they will be out of my class soon.)

CountryGal4 · 25/02/2015 19:00

The offending stick

Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)
Indigoblue2 · 25/02/2015 19:27

noniks!!! Where you been buddy? X

Lemondrizzletwunt · 25/02/2015 20:20

Country sorry old gal but I'd say that's neg, boo.