Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)

999 replies

DulcetMoans · 11/02/2015 21:30

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 38 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2292480-Jazz-up-your-ROC-Invoke-a-Wankban-Shake-your-Beaver-and-Find-Cupboard-Love-with-the-Just-Shagging-Viroids-Dont-forget-to-Cup-and-Run-its-JS-38?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2299801-JSing-Grads-turn-21-Weve-got-the-Key-to-the-door-cosy-wombles-and-a-drawer-of-dirty-spoons?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
24
batfish · 25/02/2015 06:51

Oh noooo pud I can't believe the skiing hol didn't guarantee your BFP! Sorry to hear that Sad

honeysucklejasmine · 25/02/2015 07:30

Argh! I'm stuck in limbo! Temp still not up! Still a small amount of ewcm! What is going on?! CD18 and no ovulation yet! Angry

jellypi3 · 25/02/2015 07:42

Maybe your having an annovulatory cycle honey

honeysucklejasmine · 25/02/2015 07:45

Brilliant. Sad Oh well! If i can prove it then it won't be too hard to talk my doctor in to clomid in 3 months time!

Jcandy · 25/02/2015 07:58

I didn't ice till cd22 last month and mine still hasn't been confirmed this month. My earliest ice day was cd15 so cycles can vary quite a lot! Don't give up hope yet!

jellypi3 · 25/02/2015 08:00

My temp is up again today but only by 0.1. FF not confirmed icing yet.

jellypi3 · 25/02/2015 08:01

Yeh don't give up honey :) you still in. Plus everyone has at least 1 annovulatory cycle a year

Noniks3 · 25/02/2015 09:06

Morning all, I'm back! Grin

Just catching up on way home, but the witch didn't find me whilst away...am now 5-6 days late...Confused does this mean I can POAS and it not be unicorn wee??

gaggiagirl · 25/02/2015 09:13

Pisssssss! Please get pissing! Yes! Go on noniks

gaggiagirl · 25/02/2015 09:14

No unicorn is required at this late stage of the game.

auroraboringalis · 25/02/2015 09:27

honey I get ya. First ff said I iced, now it doesn't, then I change the analysis settings from "advanced" to "research" and suddenly I iced again. Confused
I am gonna poas on Friday. Decided. Only supposed yo on the 5th. But fuck knows.

auroraboringalis · 25/02/2015 09:28

noni !!!!!!!!!!

Stoatystoat · 25/02/2015 09:32

Got to get up for counselling. Sigh. I feel wrong getting up and putting make up on and doing my old life.

jellypi3 · 25/02/2015 09:56

:( hope it goes ok today stoat. They will hopefully be able to help you. Thinking of you.

Non!!! How are you? I say POAS is certainly allowed! Gx!!!!!

Aus when is AF due?

Honey just keep with it. Remember your folicular phase changes each month whereas your Leutal phase doesn't change. :) (Although it means we won't be cycle buddies next month) :(

Lil how's things with you?

glidingpig · 25/02/2015 10:12

Hugs to stoat. I hope the counselling is a help.

Noniks yes! Piss piss piss!

Gx and egg mojo to all those waiting for ovulation.

Noniks3 · 25/02/2015 10:16

BFfeckinN...1st time cycle has been this long (34days & norm is 28 -once 29). Fucking cock sucking fanny flapping wank badgers only hope is pee was rather diluted All a bit anti climatic...back to catching up ...

glidingpig · 25/02/2015 10:24

Aw cock. :( Sorry to hear it noniks.

auroraboringalis · 25/02/2015 10:55

stoat Flowers hope you have a nice counsellor. Nothing as disheartening as talking to someone you hate don't get on with.
noni crappity! Odd, surely? try another tomorrow?
jelly af hypothetically due 5 march but ff said I iced at cd10 so maybe 1 March instead. Today 12dpo if I iced.

jellypi3 · 25/02/2015 11:20

ahh crap non gx for you tomorrow with FMU!

aus i personally would try to wait until AF is late, but you're call! :)

Jcandy · 25/02/2015 11:29

noniks that's rubbish!

stoat hope you're ok.

Viroids I'm thinking of buying a new car (since mine failed it's mot yesterday) what do we think? www.networkq.co.uk/used-vehicles/3995915-Vauxhall+Corsa+5+Door

jellypi3 · 25/02/2015 11:34

i love the color jc!! I had a ar that color for my first car after passing my test! i've got a boring gunshot metal car now.

Although are you not tempted to go for something slightly bigger?

jellypi3 · 25/02/2015 11:48

Question viroids!

I keep getting weird burning pains on my right side of my lower abdomen. Not strong pain, just mild burning sensations.

Considering my temps have been up for two days, I can only assume i have already iced. Any idea what the feeling could be?

auroraboringalis · 25/02/2015 11:50

Such a happy colourJC
jelly aaaaaaa-aaaa-aah! Wait until 18 dpo you say? ^headless chicken impersonation

jellypi3 · 25/02/2015 12:02

well maybe no 18, maybe 14? Is FF telling you 18dpo because this is your first month charting? Mine did the same.

CountryGal4 · 25/02/2015 12:11

Jelly what cd are you?