Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)

[DulcetMoans]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 38 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2292480-Jazz-up-your-ROC-Invoke-a-Wankban-Shake-your-Beaver-and-Find-Cupboard-Love-with-the-Just-Shagging-Viroids-Dont-forget-to-Cup-and-Run-its-JS-38?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2299801-JSing-Grads-turn-21-Weve-got-the-Key-to-the-door-cosy-wombles-and-a-drawer-of-dirty-spoons?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

I am going to have a job talking DH in to it tonight. This will be the fourth night in a row. He's not sure "little DH" is up to it! At least he can have a rest afterwards I guess. Might have to dig deep in the bag of tricks. sigh The things we do, eh?

Stoat of course you have achieved great things! Don't be so mean to yourself.

Glad you loved it, Jelly! I am looking forward to the next season too. Bring it on!

How far did you get with Battlestar Galactica?

Not far, I'm re-watching house at the moment, and also Game of Thrones (in anticipation of Season 5...yes I am that sad). DP is watching House of Cards (the US and UK version) and we are both watching the Walking Dead, so there's no time for BSG, though we do want to carry on watching it! It's really good, I think we are half way through Season 1?

Assuming I did ice yesterday and today's spike was real, I am 1DPO. I've never really followed strict TWOT rules, but do you think taking ibuprofen is ok? This ear ache is killing me

Heh lil, I just take the attitude that since I'm hoping to go through pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood, getting a bit of my own piss on my hand is the least of my bodily fluid-related worries.

And my temp is up! I'm so pleased with it I even thought I'd attach a picture. Not really shagged that much in the last few days (due to feeling rubbish) but hoping the couple of days before will be enough!

It will happen stoat! It's just a shame things can't happen how we plan them!

Sorry for moaning. This is an emotional roller coaster. I've never cared for fairground rides.

Moan away stoat! The situation you are in is shit! There is no denying it. But you will get there, even if you can't see it now (because of all the shit!)

Here's mine, your spike is much nicer than my "spike" JC :) Gx for you x

Does it help you in some way if you invite me to join FF bad JSer and then I accept, rather than doing it on my own?

Oh stoat please moan away - I know exactly how you feel. I find the hardest part is that whilst we had only been pg for a few weeks it's the fact that in those 2 weeks we had made plans and thought ahead to how different life would have been. The milestones are difficult and I don't have that many left now. I've past first AF, date I would have gone on maternity, EDD, I'm now only one cycle from it being a year since we conceived. I hope you are GP again before you reach most of these milestones. It does get easier, I tend to treat myself to something I love doing that I couldn't do if pg. This month I booked a ski holiday - go in 2 weeks and can't wait x

Any thoughts? First time charting?
DTD 8 11 and 12 if ff is correct with the ov prediction. Not had a single positive opk test the whole cycle so far I obviously didn't do any OPKs as they are contraband!
Don't think it looks like an implantation dip now that there is a second drop of this type of magnitude. Am I expecting AF tomorrow or summat?

Beautiful charts viroids!
aurora implantation dip doesn't always occur, however I got an implantation dip of a whole degree! Eek your chart looks promising.

Lemon if someone refers you they get VIP membership for a short while, as do you. I don't really miss it but someone else might want it?

aurora your last 2 temps aren't 100% reliable, hence the empty circles. Could be an implantation dip, af could be due, only time will tell.

we all have bootiful charts!! :)

I cheated viroids. I had both wine and ibuprofem duriong my "twot"

jelly sometimes wine is the only answer!

Cd 12 here and just got a positive opk, had highs on cb for past three days and peak this morning.

We have dtd on cd 6,8,9(am and pm) and 11 so far. Going to get my cape on later, but also should i be dtd tomorrow?

I also use lil's technique.....pee free hands unless it overflows

jelly you're such a chart flatterer! :)
lil the temping thing is somewhat fucked unreliable I guess as I'm up to fb some mornings or have DC in bed with us so sleep is disrupted. Last two readings I actually labelled "sleep-deprived" as I saw that was an option on the list since DC has been ill and I'm just feeling doubly knackered lately. But readings taken at the same time as normal as I believe that is supposed to be important?
I think I may just go back to the just shagging thing the way evolution intended. As if Lascaux cavemen counted temperature shifts and stretched cm between their fingers before shagging the winter nights away! comes up with new theory to explain random lines in cave art

Haha aus I like your caveman idea!

I hate going back to work after wine. Especially after two large glasses do wine. Oops.

I should just shag more. Not entirely convinced I did ice yesterday as I'm getting stomach cramps today similar to icing pain.

Jelly, you think you should shag more?! Your DP's poor knob will fall off at this rate!!
I drank during the TWW as was on holiday with the parentals and don't want them to know that we are ttc as they will get far too giddy about it!
Currently on CD 40. Boo.

:( that sucks pud post pill hormones are shit eh.

Ah well, it will sort itself out eventually, we are in no major rush. I have probably missed the 'best' window for teacher maternity leave but I don't think it will matter that much in the end. Kind of want AF to arrive now so I can get on with the next cycle, keeping up shagging for this long is hard work!

onei was a bit gutted to miss the best window too!

I know, I was invisaging spending the first term drinking tea in my office and creating beautiful schemes of work while my replacement took over all my nutty classes. Ho hum.

one I read that as envisioning the "first sperm" and thought it is some TTC therapy la think yourself pregnant

jelly want to write a paper on it with me?