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Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)

999 replies

DulcetMoans · 11/02/2015 21:30

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 38 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2292480-Jazz-up-your-ROC-Invoke-a-Wankban-Shake-your-Beaver-and-Find-Cupboard-Love-with-the-Just-Shagging-Viroids-Dont-forget-to-Cup-and-Run-its-JS-38?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2299801-JSing-Grads-turn-21-Weve-got-the-Key-to-the-door-cosy-wombles-and-a-drawer-of-dirty-spoons?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
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24
Lemondrizzletwunt · 23/02/2015 09:58

Hi all, weird uterus pains have gone, but today I have a cold and I am back to work after a week off and I just can't be fucked!

Pig I'm so sorry I missed your post yesterday. Glad they're getting darker...post some pics for us!!

Stoat and lil how are you both today? I hope you're as ok as you can be. Lil what job do you do? I'm sure you've told us before but I have forgotten Blush

Gah, I just wish electron microscopes were freely available so we could check immediately if we were upduffed...none of this POAS, symptom spotting and wondering. Boo. It is Monday and I am in a bad mood.

glidingpig · 23/02/2015 10:02

I haven't yet, I'm too chicken! I feel like I'm going to jinx my BFP if I start acting like I'm pregnant. Spent the morning so far obsessing over whether today's line is lighter than yesterday's. Argh. Someone give me a hooyah.

honeysucklejasmine · 23/02/2015 10:04

Morning all. I am busy busy busy today... Except I'm not! Currently sat in car for the next half hour as someone cancelled so awaiting next appointment. But i did go to the bank to get some bits sorted so that's all good!

Still, going to be a bit busy when I get home! Great. Sad I hate being busy.

Jcandy · 23/02/2015 10:54

Morning all Smile

Busy is good sometimes honey? But I do know that feeling when you've got too much on so hope it's not that!

Well I've got today off, love a bit of random annual leave! Though not feeling well in a headache and neck pain /sore throat kind of way Sad

I'm a bit annoyed with my body today contraband alert I got a peak on my opks on Friday so was expecting my temp to go up yesterday. It went down to the lowest it's been yesterday 36.53 so I thought Oh ok I'll be icing yesterday then. Temp this morning 36.57, definitely not up as I expected, boo. What's going on? Cm has gone creamy this morning so maybe I did ice yesterday after all but my temp is messing around! Cd20 today, way too much waiting!

Lemondrizzletwunt · 23/02/2015 11:07

JC how long are your cycles? I think we might be POAS together! I'm CD18...

jellypi3 · 23/02/2015 11:07

JC could your temps be rising slowly? Or do you normally get a spike after ov? Nothing else could have affected your temps today?

My lower abdomen feels like it's on fire occassionally. It's a really weird sensation!

Also I like being busy, makes the days go quicker! CD 16 is boring when you don't ice on CD14 like normal peopl

mountaingirl01 · 23/02/2015 11:12

Sometimes you can get a slow rise jelly I didn't get a temp rise till 3 days after I iced last time, didn't believe ff till I was scanned and my dates confirmed I must have.

auroraboringalis · 23/02/2015 11:55

Hallo viroidal shaggers! Sorry for silence as have had a sickly DC. No news here as regards successful babymaking. How are you lil?

honeysucklejasmine · 23/02/2015 12:16

Busy is ok I guess!

CD16 here too... Think I am icing today, got a pretty much positive opk yesterday. Though DH threw it away before it was developed so i had to fish it out the bin!

Jcandy · 23/02/2015 12:18

Hoping it's a slow rise Mountain and jelly but I do normally get a spike. I'm a bit under the weather today but expect temps to be up instead of down with that. My lp is 13 days lemon so I'll be testing on 8th March I think, when are you testing?

Stoatystoat · 23/02/2015 12:18

After yesterday's screaming like a banshee I have had a good talk with DH. Feeling bit more in control. Rang the doctor who was lovely and gave his sympathy and a sick note.

My sister is currently having to deal with my mane. It's so knotted.

I'm really fucked off and angry I've got to TTC again. I don't like TTC mindset which is why I'm a JSer. It's why I was thrilled to get up duffed, I didn't have to start with all the paraphanlia.

jellypi3 · 23/02/2015 12:23

stoat how long were you TTC? sorry I've got a memory like a fish. I know it's difficult for me to say but I think you should try and enjoy it as much as possible. I have never had a MC so I don't know what it's like "after" but I just get back on the bandwagon and shag like a teenager.

honey i think you will ice a couple of days before me. My OPK was pretty close to positive last night but I don't think I will ice until tomorrow (FF says so). How long is your LP?

Stoatystoat · 23/02/2015 12:31

One whole week.
Can you see my issue? I know I got up duffed quickly which is great - but I really resent that I'm on that road having thought id escaped it.

Lemondrizzletwunt · 23/02/2015 12:33

JC I think I'm due on 5th if my cycle is 30 days, but it's usually more like 35, so 8th March suits me!

Oh Stoat Sad we hate TTC too, if that's any comfort. I'm always thinking of myself as a failure when AF comes...I'm good at everything else in life I do not count sport so why can't I get upduffed? Don't start with the paraphernalia, just shag shag shag! I believe that there are quite a few viroids who have got preg on their WTF cycle, too, so don't think that you'll be TTCing for ages...you never know. xxx

honeysucklejasmine · 23/02/2015 13:49

Jelly 12 days. We shall see if my temp has risen tomorrow! More litres of ewcm today and another positive.

Jcandy · 23/02/2015 14:19

Excellent lemon POAS buddies!

CountryGal4 · 23/02/2015 14:41

Cd 19 here... Can I join in?

Lemondrizzletwunt · 23/02/2015 14:51

You sure can Country! The more the merrier Grin

Jcandy · 23/02/2015 15:24

Definitely country!
honey you'll be testing about then too won't you?

Gx you ice soon jelly

lildottie · 23/02/2015 15:25

cd5 here, and probably another 2 years before I poas with my history!
stoat I think the having to go back to ttc is the hardest thing for me out of all this. it totally sucks.

jellypi3 · 23/02/2015 15:42

AF is due for me on 5th March, but I'm not due to POAS until 10th March. I'm really hoping mp LP lengthens a bit this cycle, 9 days would really suck again.

gaggiagirl · 23/02/2015 16:41
jellypi3 · 23/02/2015 17:22

don't worry g we are shagging loads! I think this month we have DTD on CD 8,9,10,11, 14 (am and pm), 15 and today is CD16!

CountryGal4 · 23/02/2015 18:50

Christ jelly you carry on like that and his knob will fall off!!

Lemondrizzletwunt · 23/02/2015 19:02

so proud Jelly!