Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)

[DulcetMoans]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 38 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2292480-Jazz-up-your-ROC-Invoke-a-Wankban-Shake-your-Beaver-and-Find-Cupboard-Love-with-the-Just-Shagging-Viroids-Dont-forget-to-Cup-and-Run-its-JS-38?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2299801-JSing-Grads-turn-21-Weve-got-the-Key-to-the-door-cosy-wombles-and-a-drawer-of-dirty-spoons?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

I know you don't want to do another lemon but I would POA-IC personally, you won't be icing twice in one month

It's just strange though, because if the first icing was actually icing, it was on cd9 (probably, as pos ok was on cd8) but my cycles are 30-35 days long...which doesn't really make any sense? It makes more sense for icing to be yesterday / today, which is cd17...gah! I don't know any more!

If symptoms continue as do pos OPKs, I may POAS later on this week.

stoat I didn't look at anything either. I mc at 10 weeks but it was a blighted ovum which stopped growing at 6 weeks. At my worst I just sat on the toilet for 3 hours in the dark as I didn't want to see anything. I had pulled a chair and duvet in with me - it was through the night and just moved from one to the other. I'm so pleased you have people with you. I had DH but there was not much he could do so I sent him to bed as he had to work the next day x

stoat I looked. Then was hysterical. DP had to deal with 'the tissue' we had to take it to the gynae ward on my follow up scan date.
The ward had a good look and told me they would send it off to the crem with all the other little lost ones. That broke me. I think I wish I had never known all that.
You did the right thing to not look.

On my way home towards the pissy stocks but now feel overwhelmingly like AF is about to arrive - like any minute. Spoiling all my fun. Was so looking forward to weeing all over my own hands again.

Checking in viroids. This mornings opk blank. 5pm attached. Hmm not sure I'm gonna catch the spike....

I would try Temping for a bit country. Much more reliable than OPK's

Ah One, I hope the witch stays away and you get to do that most exciting of wees. I'm pissing in a jam jar at the moment and using dippy sticks. It's much harder than the piss mug I had for conceiving DD. The handle makes all the difference. Keep meaning to buy a mug in a charity shop.

I'm being a bit loopy at the moment and POAS morning and afternoon, fretting each time in case they get lighter and disappear. But I think they're slowly and surely getting darker, even the afternoon ones. I think I'm starting to believe in my BFP. AF would have been due tomorrow, we shall see...

It may have been and gone if you had a more positive result yesterday...have you shagged in the past couple of days?

Lemon you doubt me?!? Dtd just this morn and Friday and Wednesday ....

Haha! Never, Country, I know you're a dirty viroid! I would think you've had as good a chance as any of catching the egg, then

Will keep on JSing though just incase I have iced yet. If I haven't yet I'm sure I will in the next couple of days. Cm. gas been watery and. Rife since Thursday

Oh dear all the spelling/ grammar fails. Sorry viroids am shattered!

Eep pig, well done for getting the darker lines. Gx it keeps up.

myblackcat and gaggia my heart just aches reading both those stories. I never thought to leave the light off but I did want to know it had gone just for someone else to deal with it. I would have been hysterical too. Infact, I have been hysterical without having seen it. My practical sister was upset & was so reluctant to get rid of it but that's what we did. She felt better that she weed after and is on her period so she now felt at least whatever it was has been followed by some of her too. She felt better it wasn't alone. I know that's odd.

I have completely lost my shit today.

I can't imagine life again. I can't imagine shagging, music, going out and getting pissed, dancing, clothes shopping. I could imagine running and going on holiday though. That's it.

Stoaty it's completely normal to feel like that. It won't always be so but right now you just need to do what you have to do get through each day.
I only had tampons when I lost mine, I didn't know about having to use pads and I was at work. I try not to think about it being in the sani waste bin

Where it is doesn't bother me because there was no baby in it, it was just some tissue. The only thing about where it is that bothers me is that it's not going to be with me come September.

Completely losing your shit in this situation is fine. Focus on the running and the thought of a holiday, they are very positive things. You will start to feel better. Different, but better.

Stoat you did right thing not to look. I looked and wished I hadn't. It's what I remember most.

Sending you a hug xx

Congrats Gliding! Fabulous news

Stoat only you know what's right for you in this horrible situation. I looked first time, I needed it confirming that it was real and not just the period from hell. Second time I had a scan picture so i saw them there. However, there were some complications, so needed surgery which meant I didn't get a proper goodbye (in my view). Not sure which was worse or more bearable, and I have no idea, if I'm ever in that place again, what I would want. No easy answers, but on a non-flippant brighter note, I've just returned from the holiday I booked when I thought I was miscarrying this one, and it was a wonderful thing to have done.

Stoat darling it does get easier, I promise. It'll see cone back to bite you now and then (e.g. I sobbed for a whole day when i got my second period after the mc) but honestly, it does. I think that every decision you make is the right one, because they are your decisions.

There is so much EWCM! i feel like i would drip on the floor if i took my granny pants knickers off! Of course shagging has occurred. We'll see. I'm a bit cynical at the moment. I have convinced myself it'll never happen, save myself the trauma when I get AF again. Healthy, huh?!

stoat I am looking at the blood clots wondering "is that my baby" and have to Jeep reminding myself its was 4+5 when I had the negative (ish) test so mine were still a poppy seed size so I wouldn't know what I was looking at anyway. I wish I could not look so I think you have done the right thing. when you feel up to it I think doing is the best path to healing. I'm so busy with work I haven't had time to think too much about it and although I'm not being particularly productive, I know if I wasn't busy I'd be unwashed on the sofa watching judge Judy! I am eating all the comfort food going though!

have been working all weekend which sucks.

BNFS all over the shop here, not particularly disappointed as it is our first (very long) cycle, but doesn't explain why I have felt nauseous all week, blurghh.

stoat I've never been in that situation but you sound like you did what's best for you. Hopefully you can get some closure soon and start trying again. You will get your baby soon enough.

one I had a cycle where I felt really sick for about two weeks. But remember if you were upduffed it's almost certainly too early for any symptoms.

I'm getting close to icing, my boons are getting sore and my stomach is cramping a bit. Temp hasn't risen yet but I'm hoping it will tomorrow or Wednesday (FF predicts icing tomorrow). However the CBFM still hasn't picked up my peak so I give up with the useless thing.

lemon how u feeling today? And pig have you gone and introduced yourself to the grads. Also did we get stats from you???