Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)

[DulcetMoans]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 38 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2292480-Jazz-up-your-ROC-Invoke-a-Wankban-Shake-your-Beaver-and-Find-Cupboard-Love-with-the-Just-Shagging-Viroids-Dont-forget-to-Cup-and-Run-its-JS-38?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2299801-JSing-Grads-turn-21-Weve-got-the-Key-to-the-door-cosy-wombles-and-a-drawer-of-dirty-spoons?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Lemon, I don't want to inflict the symptom-spotting madness, but one-sided cramping at 7 dpo could be implantation...

Realised I never said thank you for all the congrats, how rude - thanks viroids! Very nervous to see if I get darker lines over the next few days - there's no reason it should be another CP but there's no reason it shouldn't either. Just trying to keep a level head. Bit twingey on one side, hope Shaning McPig III is burrowing firmly in.

Ooooooooooh implantation! Didn't think about that! pisses on all the sticks in the house and buys a crib

Here's hoping!

Stoat you are doing so well! Keep strong, but be weak when you need to too!

All the EWCM in the world today. Dripping with the stuff. Temp being a bit odd and was so desperate to pee i forgot the opk! Oops. Only first day of ewcm though so no hurry.

We did an en masse tidy and sort today. DH has probably thrown out loads of important stuff, but oh well! Most things can be got hold of again if that important! Still, house looks good!

Tomorrow's mission is to tackle my so called Monica cupboard. There is a shelving unit in there but everything that should be on it is on the floor. And its not big enough. We will prob end up building shelves in to it and filling it with those random things like irons, step ladders and left over paint. As you do! life is full of excitement

The day i cant check in you all get nattering! Typical!

I cancelled blood test jelly, there really wasn't any point after the overnight bleeding Thursday night. It was heaver than my normal periods by a long way.

Congrats pig gx for a sticky bean.

JC its interesting you said that about your friend asking if it was really a mc. Today I realised that outside of me, dh and you guys, NOONE seems to have acknowledged this as or called it a mc, or even a cp. It made me so angry. I got no advice from the fc about what to expect, not using tampons or anything like that. I've just been left to get on with it. My mum hasn't mentioned it since I told her and when I phoned her to update her she was all jolly and like "update me about what" when I said it after I'd been to hospital for bloods she knew exactly what I meant by "calling to update you". My ivf worked damn it, my babies died, they didn't just not work out. I'm so angry! I know I wasn't eve. 5weeks yet when I had the almost bfn on the frer but I was pg for a week, that makes this a mc.

stoat thinking of you. I'm glad you've found some peace today. Following on from lemons post about blue prints, here's another thought for you. Dh says our babies couldn't stay because the right soul wasn't ready for us yet. It kinda helped me to think of it like that.

Hi Lil!

Thought it was strange that you were quiet today! I am absolutely astounded at your mums reaction...does she know how much you want children, and how hard you have struggled? Also, practical question, why can you not use tampons when you are miscarrying? Sorry for the TMI request!

yes she does lemon but she popped out 5 kids between age 23 and 41 no problem so I don't think she can relate

I read online you shouldn't and some of the viroids explained to me its to prevent risk of infection because of all the clots, some could get stick up there with a tampon or something. pads are gross.

Ah I see...I figured it would be about infection, but didn't think about clots. Wonder if the same applies to mooncups etc...

What a shame about your mum. I think if it were me I'd feel really let down by that. You say no one else knows outside of us...are you tempted to confide in any friends IRL?

Lil, my MMC was dated as 5 weeks and it is sad, you are having the same as me really.

I managed 4 hours sleep, DSis has just had to change me

Lil, that's so sad, of course you were pregnant, and you got to actually see your embies surprised that your RL people don't understand.

Well done on sleeping Stoat xxxx

The gynaecologist i saw during my miscarriage said "are you sure you were even pregnant?" with a look on his face. Yes, yes I am, you cunt.

That's awful honey. That happened to my boss too. Communication not good in lots of cases.

Speaking of which I had a laugh with the dr yesterday. She was doing consent and explaining the process of consent. I am in academia, I have to take consent when doing research and I teach ethics/consent to medics.

Morning all. Sorry for missing out on the chatter last night.

stoat I hope you are ok now. Is the worst of it over? Big hugs to you.

lil and stoat and anyone else who has suffered a MC, I can't beleive how uncaring the outside world can be. Only I know before I was TTC I never really realised the impact of MC, especially early MC. It was entirely my own ignorance, but I can see how some people, especially those who haven't shared their TTC experience with others, can be nonchalant about it. I'm so glad I am more aware of it now and so if I ever am in a position where someone is telling me about their MC in rl I will be as sympathetic as possible without knowing their pain.

Sorry for long post

lil that's sooo the way my mum can be sometimes too. It's so hurtful even though it's not intended, but it certainly does bring out the rage in me

Hope you and stoat are both doing a bit better knowing the worst part is hopefully over. jelly I totally agree with you, before having shared anyone's experience of mc I would have probably said totally the wrong thing hope I don't anymore and from having friends on the fred who have been unfortunate enough to go through it first hand, it gives you a different perspective on it. In fact, I have just found out a friend is expecting 9 days after me. I knew they had been trying for a while but the other night she told me they'd had a mc last summer. Instead of saying something like "oh that's a shame, at least you are pregnant now" I just told her how sorry I was and how I know how sad and difficult that must have been, and didn't try and lighten it with the fact she is now expecting. I mean if someone loses a child in an accident, you wouldn't say "at least you've got two others".

lemon I told my bff after the blood test that I was waiting for results to confirm cp. so she knew. I was pg. about 3 seconds later she told me the date of her 12wk scan. she's not the sharpest tool in the box.
i at tell another friend who knew about the ivf as she also had a mc and has made the difficult decision not to have dcs as her new partner isn't interested - he has a son conceived via ivf from his first marriage. so I think she will understand.

Love to you both lil and stoat. I hope the worst is over now.

Some people just don't understand. My mum came right out and told me she now appreciates how lucky she was to have two healthy straightforward pregnancies, as she's seen my cousin and I struggle and hadn't realised how common mc was. The more we keep talking about it the more people will hopefully be more understanding. Before I think I would have struggled to know what to say. Now I say 'that's very sad' and give them a cuddle.

I am worried about today but if it carries on as it is, that's alright. I'll have company all day and we will see how I get on.

Indigo, that's nice of you to say that to your friend. I've had 'you can get pregnant' and 'you can try again'. I've decided to make my peace with that. They were hard to hear when I thought my baby still had a shot and people were writing it off. But I can either take them in the spirit in which they are intended, which although a bit clumsy, people who haven't been there don't understand, and draw some small comfort. Or I can have something else to get upset about. One of the people who said I can get pregnant is about to start her 5th cycle of Ivf so I get why she would say that. It doesn't mean that it doesn't matter though. It does matter and it is still sad. But I am telling myself today that my MMC is part of my journey and that the baby I lost will be the making of me. It's the most fitting tribute I can offer it.

Well I thought I would give a quick update after my earlier post. We had our boozy party last night. It wasn't too bad, I managed to hold back. DP and I DTD twice yesterday (am and pm) and according to FF I am close to icing. I'm getting the odd cramp so I think it's right.

lemon I am so glad you are back. Your posts make me chuckle lol.

So yeh, 15DPO. Comon body, ice damn you!!!!

Oh we spoke very openly about trying last night to our best mates, they have just had a baby, and they are the only people who know we are actively TTC. They were really supportive of it and didn't realise how difficult it can be (their baby was literally a one shot wonder). I found it quite cathartic to talk to someone IRL. I still prefer talking to you viroids about it tho haha

Morning all!

Thanks Jelly! that must have been really nice to confide in someone. I'm feeling bad at the moment because my best friends aren't at all in the same place as us, so I'm lying to them a bit by saying a baby isn't on the cards right now. Shall explain to them properly with the reasons why I lied if and when we get preg. And it does sound like you are icing! Get sexing!

Stoat is know its a silly thing to say but don't be worried, focus on being kind to yourself. And we're here to keep you company too. I'm glad you managed to get a bit of sleep.

Lil she really isn't the sharpest tool in the box is she?! My jaw was on the floor at that!

Gah, I don't know what's going on! Late last night I POAOPK and it seems I am ovulating again??? Thinking the lady pain I was having yesterday might have been ovulation? So I am either 9DPO or 1DPO....FFS. DH is having a bath but have just been in to inform him that I'm jumping in after him, and then I am jumping him. I need all the sperms. one of the things that will be so lovely about being pregnant is the nice big chunk of maternity leave to look forward to

Erm I really really don't want to fuel the crazies lemon but have you POAS? I know OPK's can show as positive when you are upduffed.

Hiya...

TMI/maybe sensitive

Feeling a bit funny. I have passed my first something of substance. I didn't see it because I've decided not to be looking. I'm weeing into Tupperware and DSis or DH are managing it. It wasn't very big but it was definitely something, tissue like, and enough for them to be each quite upset. DSis was reluctant to flush it away, but it really wasn't anything for me to keep as it is an empty sac and while I understand it was my baby, it biologically wasn't a baby. So there was no point to hanging on to it. I am starting to feel bad for not having looked at it or that I should be being more sentimental but I don't see what the benefit would be for me. I've gotten really sad that I never bought anything for my baby, I wished I'd jumped the gun and allowed myself to get excited and bought it something.

Not sure what to expect now, just more bleeding or if I will pass anything else. I don't know how big the sac would have been so not sure what to be passing. I was 8 weeks but the MMC happened at 5 weeks, it was just the sac.

Oh stoat it's absolutely fine for you to want to see it, or not want to, or feel you don't need to. You know you had your baby with you, even if only for a short time and that is what matters. Your Dsis and DH sound wonderful, so glad you have them with you.

Stoat, you are so brave. It is a very personal decision whether or not to look and/to 'keep' anything you miscarry. (Couldn't think of a better word, sorry). Sounds as though most of it could be over though? You could still buy something for your baby now, as a little memorial. Or plant something? Or do something special with DP when you feel up to it? Xx

It's totally OK not to look, stoat. You shouldn't feel bad for any of the ways you choose to handle this.

When Shaning McPigs I and II unstuck themselves at four weeks something (and if this isn't how you feel then please tell me to shove it), it was kind of more that I was losing the possibility of my baby and the love I already felt for my baby - the emotional truth rather than the biological truth. The physical scrap of cells (which I wasn't aware of losing so it's not quite the same) wasn't exactly nothing, it was a new little thing that I had very much wanted, but it wasn't the be all and end all of the loss. If that makes sense.

Not tmi stoat as the rest have said. Just try to stay strong x

No POAS yet Jelly, I am trying to resist doing another lemon! Am beginning to symptom spot though. I am getting a cold, I am so farty it's untrue, and I have more spots than Kevin and Perry's girlfriends combined, as well as the random lady pain I mentioned yesterday.

Fuck knows what's going on, really?