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Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)

999 replies

DulcetMoans · 11/02/2015 21:30

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 38 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2292480-Jazz-up-your-ROC-Invoke-a-Wankban-Shake-your-Beaver-and-Find-Cupboard-Love-with-the-Just-Shagging-Viroids-Dont-forget-to-Cup-and-Run-its-JS-38?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2299801-JSing-Grads-turn-21-Weve-got-the-Key-to-the-door-cosy-wombles-and-a-drawer-of-dirty-spoons?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
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24
CountryGal4 · 21/02/2015 19:38

Is this still a negative?

Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)
Lemondrizzletwunt · 21/02/2015 19:45

Sounds like home is the better option, Stoat...you can watch lots of films, have proper cuddles, and a nice bubble bath in your own bathroom when it's all over. And please do keep posting!

Is that an OPK country, rather than an HCG? If so, it's definitely negative, I'm afraid. The line has to be equal to or darker than the control. Sad

CountryGal4 · 21/02/2015 19:48

Haha opk I'm afraid. Thought so. It's the strongest one I've had yet though!

Lemondrizzletwunt · 21/02/2015 19:53

What CD are you? Do you have any EWCM etc?

Hobbit19 · 21/02/2015 20:13

Keep posting Stoat, we are all here for you. You sound like you have an excellent support network at home too. Try to get some sleep tonight if you can.xx

justtheonethen · 21/02/2015 20:21

Thinking of you stoat

glidingpig · 21/02/2015 20:23

I'm glad you've got your family around you, stoat. Hope you get some sleep. Cake and Flowers

justtheonethen · 21/02/2015 20:25

Def negative country keep peeing!

You might remember my dp was having some problem coming up with the goods, after a good chat it seems the problem is sorted....we have dtd three times since yesterday eve....three viroids, I'm nearly dead! Luckily also coinciding with a high on my cb opk so hoping to keep it up til the peak.

Stoatystoat · 21/02/2015 20:26

Thankyou for supporting me too, you've really helped

Please don't anyone feel they can't be excited about BFPs etc. I'm at peace today at least, I don't want or begrudge anyone else's baby, it's just a shame I am not getting mine yet.

I appreciate everyone here

CountryGal4 · 21/02/2015 20:35

Cd 17 no ewcm. Last two days really soft cervix and ALL the watery cm. feels like I've ruddy wet myself.

Stoat you seem like your doing so well considering. Love to you pet

Lemondrizzletwunt · 21/02/2015 20:39

Ooh sounds like icing might be imminent? Perhaps POAS earlier tomorrow, like 11am, and then at 5pm ish? If you do them every 24hrs and have a short surge you can miss the peak...

justtheonethen · 21/02/2015 20:40

stoat you will get your baby, it will happen, this is just so desperately unfair Flowers

MrsWatts · 21/02/2015 20:40

Thinking of you stoat
What an awful thing to go through xxx

justtheonethen · 21/02/2015 20:47

country def do them twice a day, thats what i do when it is imminent.

I have had all the ewcm, since day 5, day 9 now and feels like i have a slug living in my pants!

Ainat266 · 21/02/2015 20:47

stoaty I'm glad you have such a strong support network at home. And of course you can post here as much as you like! We're all here for you. We're all here for each other, no matter where our TTC journeys take us. I find this Fred a place where we can laugh together and cry together without being judged on anything. I'm glad you're feeling at peace today. Flowers

Wow just you have been busy this weekend. Grin

CountryGal4 · 21/02/2015 20:50

5 may be difficult. Family bday dinner :s fuck it I'll give it a go!!

Lemondrizzletwunt · 21/02/2015 20:50

Oh just you lucky thing! This lady lark really is great, isn't it? If we don't have fanjos like a crime scene, we have slugs living in our pants or AF cramps like being stabbed!

I think I am 7DPO and am all crampy on one side...can I be ovulating again?

Lemondrizzletwunt · 21/02/2015 20:53

Country you could be a proper crazy and POAR with a screw top lid, and then save it for later for accurate OPK analysis?

justtheonethen · 21/02/2015 20:56

Ooh yes do that country, loves the crazy!

Super busy, i am exhausted Wink

ainat forgot to reply, primary for me too.

CountryGal4 · 21/02/2015 20:56

I'm afraid I think I draw the line at carrying around a pot if piss in my bag

Hobbit19 · 21/02/2015 21:10

Glad to hear that DP is on board just , DH has rallied also which is lucky because I think I am ovulating AGAIN (just plain weird CM and dancing ovaries), forth time this cycle that I have thought this. So basically, I have no idea. And lots of sex. Going to POAS when I get home tomorrow because I haven't done for a week because AF is due on Monday and I am either 22dpo, 13dpo, 3dpo or 1dpo. Excellent!! Smile

Lemondrizzletwunt · 21/02/2015 21:14

Boo country!

Just, if you are right and if you've DTD exactly right this month you could end up cooking quadruplets!

Lemondrizzletwunt · 21/02/2015 21:17

Sorry, I mean One, not Just!

Just DH is also primary, Y1. What about you? I have been having fun with industrial quantities of PVA and tissue paper helping him decorate his classroom this week.

justtheonethen · 21/02/2015 21:36

Year 3 and 6, share classes. Less pva but just as much laminating, love my laminator rubs thighs and looks for something to laminate you have made me feel guilty, not been into school once this half term!

one great news, excited for your poas, let us know!

Ainat266 · 21/02/2015 21:43

I have the real littleies of the school at the min - nursery children!

just my laminator is currently on the coffee table next to me. Haha. I haven't actually switched it on mind, but I did bring it down yesterday with every intention of doing so...

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