Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)

[DulcetMoans]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 38 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2292480-Jazz-up-your-ROC-Invoke-a-Wankban-Shake-your-Beaver-and-Find-Cupboard-Love-with-the-Just-Shagging-Viroids-Dont-forget-to-Cup-and-Run-its-JS-38?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2299801-JSing-Grads-turn-21-Weve-got-the-Key-to-the-door-cosy-wombles-and-a-drawer-of-dirty-spoons?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Caution the next post contains contraband

So as my cycles throwing a wobbly I thought I needed come help in terms of when i ice. How close to icing do you think this test shows??

I would say another few days country it looks quite negative to me.

Keep shagging :D

This is the earliest i have seen EWCM myself. But I have been drinking much more water

Just catching up after a day at work, so sorry stoat it really is shit. Good news purple

Sorry country I have no idea only use the ultra expensive contraband

CD2 and still feeling pissed off at yet another failed cycle

Does it mean icing is imminent tho jelly I'm cd 14 ATM and last cycle was a monster 41 days

I got EWCM two weeks before I oved Jelly so no help from me I'm afraid. Also cultivating a nice sunglasses tan to go with my monobrow, DH will not be able to resist!

country a faint line on an opk means nothing. I always have faint limes before icing for weeks then bam it goes dark as control. sorry I can't be more helpful.

stoat so so sorry

Huge Kez shaped hugs at all viroids having a shit time.

I have been mega busy with work since the weekend so haven't had chance to come on here. Been promoted (yey!) but this means more work and lots of studying (boo!). Get confirmation of the promotion and salary next Friday (yey!) but (boo!) to the wait!

Anyyyhoo, the witch turned up with a vengeance yesterday morning (huge boo!). Had a chat with the DH and he has told me I am over-thinking everything and putting myself (and him) under more pressure than should he only 6 months into ttc. I do understand that. Completely.

fertility has been questioned due to an issue which I am not going to air on here. So for now my time is going to be devoted on DH, work and study. Ttc isn't being 'put in hold' but you may not see me posting here as much as I am going to try and put it to the back of my mind until we know where we are at.

It isn't going to be easy 'not thinking about it' but I think if I carry on the way I am going, I'll drive m insane and DH loopy too!

Jeez this is a long post!

I'll still nip back on here now and then, but in the meantime

Oh stoat. What a shit time you've had, it's so unfair. Look after yourself xxx

Aww kez if you are sure that's what you want to do then best of luck x we will be rooting for you!!

country sadly they aren't that useful the only sign of imminent icing is a positive

Oh Stoat, Lil, this is so totally shit. Rage away, let it out. We're here for you.

Thanks ladies. I am less judging of myself this afternoon. You helped a lot!

Going to see my bro tomorrow, catch up after his near death experience last month. He sends me text messages, he must be fine! Turned down option to stay for dinner as he planned pizza and salad. I didn't want to eat plain salad for dinner! pizza is the delicious cheesy devil

Sending big squishy hugs to all you lovely viroids. We really are all having a shit time of it.

lil and stoat I really don't know what to say. I wish there was something I could do for you. Please don't ever feel like you're getting us down or you can't post on here. This is a support network. We're all here for you both.

honey you are doing fantastically. 1lb a week is a steady, maintainable weight loss.

I need a massive hooya. I POAS today and then stared at it for a very long time trying to make a line appear, and managed to almost convince myself at one point there was something there. As you guys know, I haven't had a visit from AF in a long time. If, and it's a strong IF, all the symptoms I had last week were by any small chance ovulation it still only puts me on 7DPO!!!

My head has been all over the place. Especially in the last two weeks or so. Emotions are everywhere. I go from being happy, like singing and dancing around the living room happy to nearly crying in Clintons because I was looking at mothers day cards (for my own mum) and wishing I would be receiving one myself... This up and down of emotion can happen several times in a day some days. I was talking about it with DH the other day, according to him I've been more emotional since coming off the pill. I've always been an emotional person, but the past two weeks or so it's been magnified.

Sorry for the long post... x

ain I would take the increased emotional turmoil as a good sign your body is figuring out what its supposed to be doing. don't give up hope. x

I can't do any of the options for dealing with a MMC

Aww stoat somewhere you will find the strength to deal with it, it won't feel like it now but you will. Just take the time you need to be sad because it's a big loss and you need to look after yourself

I really can't choose out of any of those. I don't want any of that to happen to me. My bravery is gone.

Oh Stoat, who have you had a chance to talk through your options with? The doctor? Is there a mc charity you can talk things through with? You are incredibly brave to have dealt with everything over the past few weeks. Remember that both your hormones and your emotional are all over the place right now too and this is a horrible decision to have to make. We are all here for you xx

My sister and some friends who have had it. DH says it's up to me. I don't feel capable of making this decision. Will call the miscarriage association this morning

:( I don't know what the options are stoat but what ever you decide will be the best thing. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

ain I have to agree with lil. It looks like your body is starting to recover after the pill. You might even be getting AF soon. I know for me I had a couple of months of what I thought were AF/Ov symptoms and then one day out of the blue AF started! Gx for you hun (although I'm also giving you a hooyah for POAS at 7DPO).

honey glad you are feeling a bit better. You know your progress is fantastic! Keep it up!!

lil hope you are ok today? How long until your next blood test?

We have DTD 4 days in a row now!

blood test on Monday jelly

stoat fwiw I would choose a natural mc if your body let's you. to my mind that is what will allow your body what it needs and I've read in a few places recovery is faster and easier. I also can't bear leaving the house atm so I'd rather be at home. tbh none of this helps you as only you can decide what option suits best your feelings and situation. we are all here for you though.

have you looked at the mc boards?

stoat there is a great thread on mc board about what to expect/dealing with a mc that I found a great source of info, far better than I got from the NhS. I had a mmc and would have preferred the surgical option however my body decided to do to naturally before I got to that stage. It's is not something I would wish on my worst enemy and was was one of the worst experiences I've had. That's just me though and many others have will have different opinions. It has taken my body a long time to 'get back to normal' from this but I'm ok now.

Thoughts are with you

I am so, so sorry stoat, life is so unfair

and Lil I'm sorry to hear what you're going through

I could cry for the both of you

AF arrived this morning, bang on time, which I'm guessing is a good sign? 2nd witch since coming off pill, exactly 28 day cycle..
Also didn't get my tonsillectomy, they cancelled it last minute, for the second time. booked in again for next Wednesday

Rachel that is good news I guess, a nice, regular cycle. I guess you can just crack on with shagging next cycle. (Maybe not on the day you have your tonsils out though!)

good news rachel :) gx for normal cycles again.

I was hoping i would see more stable temps this month because I am literally doing it at the same time every day unlike last month. But they are all over the place. High, low...I just can't wait for it to spike again!

Yeah I'm not too disappointed with the witch arriving. I was worried my cycles would be all messed up, but it seems like they've settled back down nicely

definitely won't be dtd when I get my tonsils out! He's gonna be too busy looking after me