Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)

999 replies

DulcetMoans · 11/02/2015 21:30

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 38 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2292480-Jazz-up-your-ROC-Invoke-a-Wankban-Shake-your-Beaver-and-Find-Cupboard-Love-with-the-Just-Shagging-Viroids-Dont-forget-to-Cup-and-Run-its-JS-38?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2299801-JSing-Grads-turn-21-Weve-got-the-Key-to-the-door-cosy-wombles-and-a-drawer-of-dirty-spoons?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
24
Jcandy · 18/02/2015 12:07

Phew purple I'm glad everything is OK! Smile

honey it really can feel rubbish some times but 1lb a week is still good even if it doesn't feel like it! You're trying to be the healthiest you that you can be and that is good enough! Just because you have a bit of weight to lose doesn't mean you can't conceive and you don't know at what point you will so keep going! It will happen! Smile

lil hope that acupuncture will help to calm your mind even if only for a short while

Hobbit19 · 18/02/2015 12:37

honey, 1lb a week is good. The reason a lot of people yo yo diet is because they lose weight too quickly and then cannot maintain it. Slow and steady wins the race. You will also be putting good food and nutrients into your body, focus on how good that feels. Also, orgasms burn calories. Just saying Smile

Purple , phew that is good news. How many weeks are you now?

Lil, I continue to send my love, rant on here as much as you need to.

Today I skied off the actual mountain and was asked by a rather dashing ski instructor if I needed assistance. Mortified.

LaLaLaaaa · 18/02/2015 12:50

Lil you're not bringing anyone down, it's important to vent. I completely understand your feeling of just wanting to move on, that's how I felt. I'm so sorry sweetheart I know this is such a hard time. I hope you have someone keeping you company? Xx

LaLaLaaaa · 18/02/2015 12:51

Honey I think it's normal for weight loss rate to slow as you lose more. You're not a failure, you've done brilliantly

ZylaB · 18/02/2015 13:08

lil huge hugs x

Stoatystoat · 18/02/2015 13:53

MMC Sad

jellypi3 · 18/02/2015 13:59

Oh fuck stoat :( that's just bloody shit.

Huge js'er hugs to you and your DH. Life is so unfair at times.

Jcandy · 18/02/2015 14:32

Oh stoat Sad I'm so so sorry. That is shit Flowers

Hobbit19 · 18/02/2015 14:34

Oh Stoat. Xxxxx

glidingpig · 18/02/2015 14:37

I'm so so sorry stoat. :(

CountryGal4 · 18/02/2015 14:37

Well can't the world and his dog just fuck off today. Viroids were having a right old shit time of it aren't we. Love to you all x

Hobbit19 · 18/02/2015 14:47

Gins all round I think Viroids.Sad xxxx

jellypi3 · 18/02/2015 14:50

Gin, wine, whiskey, whatever your tipple, i think everyone deserves one! :(

LaLaLaaaa · 18/02/2015 14:58

Im so so sorry stoat, so sad for you :(

Sending a big hug to you and your dh, what a shit thing to happen.

Big hug to all you viroids today, it's been a sad few days xx

lildottie · 18/02/2015 16:11

stoat Sad Thanks huge hugs its totally unfair

jellypi3 · 18/02/2015 16:21

We need some good news on this fred viroids.

Who is due to test next? Or does anyone have good news in general?

glidingpig · 18/02/2015 16:33

I'm due to POAS on Monday, someone else must be doing it before then?

Hobbit19 · 18/02/2015 16:39

Due to POAS Monday as well pig, but will probably do it Sunday eve when I get home. Currently on CD34 and 5 more to go until testing, yawn. TTC with long cycles is booooooring. Have felt vaguely nauseous all week but think it is far too early to be pg related and must just be down to all the funny foreign delicious food. Smile Anyone weeing before then?

jellypi3 · 18/02/2015 16:44

Pud remember increased progesterone can cause nausea, and your progesterone will rise during your LP.

jellypi3 · 18/02/2015 16:44

Oh and I'm not due to test till March time

Hobbit19 · 18/02/2015 17:09

Jelly you are a ttc guru! Before I was on BC I used to vom on the first day of AF so this could just be my new normal (I hope not, I feel pants!). I reckon I have got a lot of progesterone swimming about as my eyebrows are growing at an even more ridiculous rate than normal - considering a twice a day plucking regime. or just giving in and growing a monobrow.

ZylaB · 18/02/2015 17:40

So sorry stoat big hugs

jellypi3 · 18/02/2015 17:42

Mono brows are the way forward Wink and I can't claim the TTC guru title. That's solely for lil.

Viroids, I think I've got EWCM at 11 DPO :/ it was visible on the tissue and when I put the tissue together and pulled apart it stretched!

Obviously temps will confirm when I ice but does anyone ever get EWCM waaaay before icing? I didn't ice until cd18 last month!

justtheonethen · 18/02/2015 18:00

jelly I have had ewcm on cd 5 and 6 so far this month, don't usually.

lildottie · 18/02/2015 18:02

I get ewcm the minute af leaves but don't ov until cd18-22

Swipe left for the next trending thread