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Conception

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Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)

999 replies

DulcetMoans · 11/02/2015 21:30

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 38 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2292480-Jazz-up-your-ROC-Invoke-a-Wankban-Shake-your-Beaver-and-Find-Cupboard-Love-with-the-Just-Shagging-Viroids-Dont-forget-to-Cup-and-Run-its-JS-38?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2299801-JSing-Grads-turn-21-Weve-got-the-Key-to-the-door-cosy-wombles-and-a-drawer-of-dirty-spoons?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
24
Toast85 · 16/02/2015 21:00

Woohoo muddy! Congrats! Come on over to the grads whenever you're ready :)

Indigoblue2 · 16/02/2015 21:07

Congrats muddy that's awesome news. Really chuffed for you!

jellypi3 · 16/02/2015 21:09

But you can stay as long as you like too mud :)

Muddytoes1 · 16/02/2015 21:19

Awww thanks Jelly may pop over and check out this dirty spooning malarky but would like to keep an eye on here to see how everyone's getting on.

Muddytoes1 · 16/02/2015 21:21

Now to clean the bathroom. Boring but having peeps over for pancake induced comas tomorrow.

Hobbit19 · 16/02/2015 21:25

All glamour this pregnancy malarkey Muddy!

gaggiagirl · 16/02/2015 22:29

I'm still shagging loads muddy Grin.

daisyspice · 16/02/2015 23:19

Yay!!! Congrats muddy awesome news Grin

Gx lil can't imagine how u must be feeling big hugs

Terrible js'ers his cycle viriods must get my act together before I put u all to shame absolutely knackered last few weeks Hmm

Hope everyone is doing ok Wink

LaLaLaaaa · 17/02/2015 05:17

Congratulations muddy!

Ainat266 · 17/02/2015 06:16

Oh my goodness... I have literally not slept... All because I was playing theme hospital. I've never played it before, DH told me I should play it and went to get an early night. He's just got up from work and I was still playing it... I think it's time to delete it!!!

DulcetMoans · 17/02/2015 07:42

Great news muddy! I give you the 'first BFP of the thread' crown.

(There are endless supplies of virtual crowns, don't worry! Enough for everyone)

OP posts:
jellypi3 · 17/02/2015 07:59

Yay for crowns !!
We have shagged 3 days on the trot now and had lazy morning shag that made me late for work.

I also started shouting at my body to get it together and fucking work. DP thinks I'm mad haha.

lil how are you today?

MyBlackCat · 17/02/2015 08:20

Fuck fuck fuckety fuck fucks wank. AF has arrived bang on schedule the bitch. Onto the next one we go..... Arrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhh Angry and pissed off

MyBlackCat · 17/02/2015 08:29

I hate resetting the apps hypothetically of course - it's not that I use them it's like saying yes well done 10/10 on your prediction skills this month when all I want to do is give them a big fat fail with a thick red marker pen

jellypi3 · 17/02/2015 09:46

sorry to hear the witch got you cat. Endulge in wine and cake!

MyBlackCat · 17/02/2015 09:52

I will Jelly at least I'm in the TWPU and I intend to exploit it to the max Wine

Stoatystoat · 17/02/2015 10:38

Hope you're ok today lil.

Enjoy your TWPU blackcat, sorry about the witch.

rachelrawrrr · 17/02/2015 11:22

hey all!
hope you're all okay. AF due in 2 days (if I have a 28 day cycle, we'll see, only the second AF since coming off the pill)
tonsillectomy tomorrow too Sad

justtheonethen · 17/02/2015 11:25

Viroids what do you make of this.....cd 5 here and got masses of ewcm? Bit early for that isn't it?

jellypi3 · 17/02/2015 11:28

ouch rachel hope it goes ok!

just....just shag! :D

stoat how you feeling today? When is your scan?

Stoatystoat · 17/02/2015 11:52

I am feeling really anxious today. I have decided the worst thing about this is that I feel I am going mad because my body is telling me I'm pregnant, and someone is telling me that might not be true. Symptom spotting like a madwoman. Discharge in particular. Don't know if that's good or not. Scan is tomorrow, I'm so nervous.

Hope you're managing to walk today after all the shagging jelly

jellypi3 · 17/02/2015 13:21

:( well i will literally be keeping everything crossed for you stoat (including my legs, much to DP's disapproval) so good luck tomorrow.

I am sure there's something there, if you have these many symptoms!

Lil how are you today?

Hobbit19 · 17/02/2015 15:21

It's interesting that your body is telling you that you are pregnant Stoat, remember that this whole conception thing is essentially a miracle and our bodies can do wonderful things. Everything crossed for tomorrow xxxxx

Hobbit19 · 17/02/2015 15:38

P.s. I have added 'being totally shit at skiing' to the list of possible pregnancy symptoms. It's the only possible explanation. Smile

lildottie · 17/02/2015 16:54

hi guys. feeling totally shit tbh. I'm up and down. broke down big time last night. think it hit me in full force. I've managed to do some work today and dh and I are trying to keep each other laughing.

stoat the fact you have symptoms can only be good. mine are completely gone. you must at least still have plenty of hcg running around your veins so your body still thinks the baby is ok in there.

sorry the witch arrived cat

one I'm pretty sure that is the number one pregnancy symptom!