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Conception

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Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)

999 replies

DulcetMoans · 11/02/2015 21:30

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 38 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2292480-Jazz-up-your-ROC-Invoke-a-Wankban-Shake-your-Beaver-and-Find-Cupboard-Love-with-the-Just-Shagging-Viroids-Dont-forget-to-Cup-and-Run-its-JS-38?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2299801-JSing-Grads-turn-21-Weve-got-the-Key-to-the-door-cosy-wombles-and-a-drawer-of-dirty-spoons?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
24
Jcandy · 16/02/2015 19:37

Definitely a line muddy congratulations!!! Smile

honeysucklejasmine · 16/02/2015 19:39

muddy you are upduffed! Congratulations!

kezaroo · 16/02/2015 19:47

I see the liiiiiine (said in a Mexican accent, as this is how it sounded in my head as I typed) don't ask

Congratulations muddy!

auroraboringalis · 16/02/2015 19:47

Upduffity muddy!!!
Gx lil. Serious Flowers

Ainat266 · 16/02/2015 19:56

Congrats muddy that is def a line!

lil and stoat I have my everything crossed for your little beans. lil as you have already said it may be the hook effect and it may be that you've got twins in there! I really hope so. Please keep us updated both. We are all rooting for you!

Welcome Seldom I have to say your post about the gate had me laughing! DH gave me a bit of a weird look, but hey.

Sorry honey I'm with jelly on Nando's. I love a good Nando's every once in a while.

Muddytoes1 · 16/02/2015 19:58

Thanks everyone - well chuffed. Though feel a bit bad as drank loads of wine last night and just did a really nuts circuits workout with a mate. Now just running round the house like a crazy person.

Muddytoes1 · 16/02/2015 20:00

lil totally keeping everything crossed for you. Sorry for the poorly timed excitement.

Muddytoes1 · 16/02/2015 20:01

Didn't mean to be insensitive.

lildottie · 16/02/2015 20:02

congrats muddy - and you ate entitled to run around like a mad person!

ain with beta hcg 6 its not hook effect. its unlikely there is a viable pregnancy now but because it's not negative I have to keep taking the drugs just in case. I've accepted its over abs am just playing the waiting game now.

lildottie · 16/02/2015 20:02

muddy don't ever apologise in here. we are a team! x

Purplecircle · 16/02/2015 20:10

Oooh congrats Muddy, what lovely news Smile

Ainat266 · 16/02/2015 20:15

Oh, the delivery that we had to wait in for... DH had ordered flowers and got them delivered to the house for me on Valentines day. Despite the face that we had agreed to not get eachother anything. Tut tut. Beautiful flowers though, now sitting on our mantle piece. No V-day shagging for us though - I fell asleep mid afternoon not feeling great. Woke up at around 7 for DH to go to bed ridiculously early also not feeling well (for different reasons - I had a bead headache, he had a stomach ache - I say his stomach ache was his own fault as he ate a massive ice cream at the ice cream parlour earlier in the day).

Anywho... What do you viroids make of this? So last week in the early hours of Tuesday morning I was woken up by really bad pains on my left side. They subsided to a dull ache but lasted for a couple days. I also had veiny boobs at around about the same time. Saturday morning (no idea why, maybe I just felt I had to POAS of some description as it's been a while!) I did an OPK with a result of a dark-ish line but not as dark as the test line. Saturday afternoon did another OPK - second line was a bit lighter than the morning one. Sunday morning the second line was even lighter still, as in barely there light. I've also been having twinges and slight cramping. Could I actually of ovulated??? Or is my mind trying to convince my sorry self that maybe my body does know how to work?

Ainat266 · 16/02/2015 20:17

Oh. Sorry lil. Still rooting for you. All us viroids are here for you and Mr. Lil whatever happens. x

gaggiagirl · 16/02/2015 20:20

muddy that's a beautiful line! Congratulations! I'm made up for you. You must now post your upduffed stats! Staaaaaaats!

ainat omg you have SO ovulated! Have you been temping? Maybe you should just to get a clearer picture.

Muddytoes1 · 16/02/2015 20:29

Errrrr ok so:
Ttc since Dec 2014 after 15 year on bcp
Iced cd 15
Cycle 3, dtd cd 10, 13, 14, 17, 23
Bfp dpo 11

Is that everything?

Muddytoes1 · 16/02/2015 20:32

Oh symptoms I guess - not many really. Worse spots than usual, the last 3-4 days a weird tugging in my right side, been feeling v horny and that's about it really. Have looooads of energy which is weird. Boobs feel normal.

RhiannonElward · 16/02/2015 20:35

Oh I do love a good productive shagger, nice work there Muddy that is a line to be proud of. Have you told dp/dh? Flowers :D

littleluna89 · 16/02/2015 20:36

muddy I heard of your upduffed status on the grads fred, Congratulations!

jellypi3 · 16/02/2015 20:41

Congrats muddy!!! That's great news! First BFP of this Fred :)

ain I reckon you have iced woman!! Shame you can't temp to see what your temp is. Gx for you :)

lil I really am keeping everything crossed. Come on little bean!

MyBlackCat · 16/02/2015 20:43

Congratulations muddy hope you have en uneventful next 8 months.

Lil Gx it works out for you x

Fleurchamp · 16/02/2015 20:43

Congrats muddy see you on the grads Fred where it is all glamour Grin

gaggiagirl · 16/02/2015 20:44

Gorgeous stats muddy...now you must graduate!

Muddytoes1 · 16/02/2015 20:47

Haha thanks guys - kinda scared to look at the grads Fred, there's still lots of shagging right? Right?!

Dh is excited but seems a bit overwhelmed so have left him to have some quiet time. He didn't eat his dinner but in sure it'll sink in Smile

teejayem · 16/02/2015 20:52

Congrats muddy
Come on over, Don't be scared, there is still shagging..... We call it dirty spooning.... :)

Hobbit19 · 16/02/2015 20:59

Oh god Lil, I am keeping you on thoughts. How long do you have to wait for the next test/scan?
Yey Muddy, that defo a line (believe me, it is very clear when there is not a line!) My DH has warned me that even though he is totally into baby making he is going to be completely freaked out when I get a BFP. To be fair, we have been thinking about and preparing for this for much longer than our DPs (in most cases), and we have each other to talk to on here, DH'S are kind of on their own a bit of their Dad-to-be feelings.

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