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Conception

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Don't let your clits get twitchy and do anything to avoid a boil in the bag fanny. BFP wholesale van rolling in to deliver to all the viroids - no superstition, JUST SHAGGING! (Part 39)

999 replies

DulcetMoans · 11/02/2015 21:30

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 38 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2292480-Jazz-up-your-ROC-Invoke-a-Wankban-Shake-your-Beaver-and-Find-Cupboard-Love-with-the-Just-Shagging-Viroids-Dont-forget-to-Cup-and-Run-its-JS-38?" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2299801-JSing-Grads-turn-21-Weve-got-the-Key-to-the-door-cosy-wombles-and-a-drawer-of-dirty-spoons?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
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24
Stoatystoat · 17/02/2015 17:13

lil I hate that this has happened to you. It is good to let it out, I know you are hurting. Well done on getting something done today. I'm glad you and your husband have each other. We are all here for you.

Ainat266 · 17/02/2015 17:43

lil I really wish I could do something to make it all okay. Did you say you have to have another appointment? When is that? Will they be able to give you support/talk through your next steps? Is there anything the viroid crew can do to help?

justtheonethen · 17/02/2015 17:46

lil and stoat also got everything crossed for you. What a tough time for you both

jellypi3 · 17/02/2015 18:11

Oh lil I'm so sorry :( this is just utterly shit and the world is a fucking horrible place at times. That this has happened to you is so unfair but you aren't out yet, and as much as my rational brain is telling it doesn't do anything, I am praying for your bean to stick. We all got a little carrier away with the excitement of your BFP and for that I'm sorry, especially if this has added in a tiny way to your shit-ness.

There is still hope lil. Remember that. And keep smiling. Your DH sounds amazing.

I have nothing to update. CD9 and bored. Just focusing on shagging and waiting (and temping). I've kind of given up on the monitor. It's just giving me highs regardless I think and just adding to my stress so fuck it.

How is everyone else? This has been a really quiet few days. There has to be more jizz talk! (DP and I shagged with the cats in the room today...very weird).

justtheonethen · 17/02/2015 18:24

Ha ha jelly so did we.....cat leapt over me at a crucial moment and put DP right off!

batfish · 17/02/2015 18:31

Oh lil I'm so sad you are going through this shitty time, I wish there was something comforting to say. A good friend has been through 4 unsuccessful rounds of IVF and I could never find the right thing to say to her either, I was so excited with her through her BFPs only to see it all so horribly taken away from her, life is a total bastard sometimes. I don't know whether to say stay hopeful or prepare for the worst - not sure either way will make you feel any better at any stage. I just really really hope that things are absolutely fine and there's some weird stuff going on that's making you feel like it's not, you just never know. Stay strong.

5hell · 17/02/2015 18:36

well jelly, to oblige on the jizz talk, we've dtd at least 4 times since friday!
this ttc has at least ramped up the shagging a bit Wink

Think DH is keen that I dont accuse him of not doing his bit (he's a little hesitant about the whole baby thing generally).

auroraboringalis · 17/02/2015 18:58

lil am glad you and dh can support eah other. Also echoing what jelly said about our over-excitement. I hope there will be positive news for you at the next scan/bloods but I realise that you probably have a good idea about what your body is up to. I hope you get some sleep. Eat lots of soup, it warms the heart.

Purplecircle · 17/02/2015 19:25

Oh Lil I'm so sorry lovie, what a truly shit thing to happen.

Stoaty I'm keeping everything crossed for tomorrow for you

I had some spotting this morning then it stopped. I was at the hospital today anyway so I asked about it and they've booked me for a scan at the EPU tomorrow morning. I panicked as its how the MC started last time. I've been a bit twingey as normal so I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. I wouldn't say it's painful though

If anyone could send some positive thoughts my way as well it would really be appreciated. I'm trying not to worry but I'd finally relaxed after the scan only for this to happen Sad

Stoatystoat · 17/02/2015 19:39

Positive thoughts for you too purple. What a wibbly time for us xx

gaggiagirl · 17/02/2015 19:52

purple stoat lil all the love and positive thoughts heading your way!

Purplecircle · 17/02/2015 19:58

Thanks lovelies

Toast85 · 17/02/2015 20:01

Positive thoughts to stoaty, lil and purple. Thinking of you.

jellypi3 · 17/02/2015 20:05

Oh shit purple. Prayers and thoughts with you too. At least there's no pain so that's good. Let us know how scan goes tomorrow.

You viroids all deserve good news. I am keeping everything crossed.

I had a meltdown in sainsburys just now and forgot my pin. Had to phone DP and ask what it was and the serving women called her manager over and they asked for ID because they thoght I had stolen the cards. No fucking idea why that happened. :(

We need some good positive vibes on this fred!!

CountryGal4 · 17/02/2015 20:15

Gx for all you viroids. Sounds really crap

Feeling really rubbishy today and just don't feel like dtd at all.

lildottie · 17/02/2015 20:49

purple I saw ur post on grads thread too. they all seem to agree it doesn't sound like too much to be worried about. doesnt stop it being scary though. at least you only have til tomorrow to get through

thanks for all the well wishes ladies. dh and I are hopeful that with his numbers back up we can js with contraband of course and get a natural bfp before we are thinking about ivf again. I think the worst thing is people saying "it wasn't meant to be". those people I want to fucking test the living daylights out of not aimed at anyone here la I think I remember you saying something similar after your mc. as much as I agreed it was a stupid thing to say I only now realise how much that hurts. my babies died and they think its ok to say it wasn't meant to be. gee thanks! assholes.

sorry needed to get that out

LaLaLaaaa · 17/02/2015 20:51

Oh viroids I'm so bloody pissed off at the world for the shitty worrying you're going through!

Honestly if there is any frigging justice in the world can it not just send some sodding positive news to our viroids!!

I'm thinking of you purple, stoat and lil - gx and hugs. Really hoping against hope for some good scans tomorrow.

Sorry for not reading through other messages just now, am on 30 min free internet in hotel as I'm away with work.

Lil I know this is an incredibly shit time for you. I hope you and dh are ok xx

gaggiagirl · 17/02/2015 20:51
Jcandy · 17/02/2015 20:54

Oh gosh we're having a shit time aren't we.

stoat and purple thinking of you both. Hope tomorrow brings you some good news. Try not to stress too much (easier said than done I know)

lil I'm so so sorry that you are going through this. Even though I've only known about your journey for the past few months I feel so connected to you. Well all of you viroids really. Sending you positive vibes. I'm glad you have your dh for support, you are both so strong!

LaLaLaaaa · 17/02/2015 20:54

Yes lil that is exactly how I felt and I'm so sad people have said it to you, it's so fucking insensitive. As is 'well at least it happened earlier rather than later'. So your baby dying at 10 weeks gestation is better than at 15? No of course not, it's fucking sad and painful either way. I think people don't know what to say and are trying to be kind but don't realise it's actually hurtful.

Purplecircle · 17/02/2015 20:55

Lil people don't know what to say but they talk utter shite. When I had my MC so many said 'at least you can get pregnant'
I wished they'd all STFU Sad

Thanks for all the good thoughts. I'm a bit anxious but not panicking too much

MyBlackCat · 17/02/2015 20:55

Totally sympathise with you lil same with 'everything happens for a reason' - well can someone please tell me the reason why I mis-carried and why I can't even get pregnant again let alone get one to stick Angry

Sorry for the rant it's been a tough day

PMA to stoat and purple x

jellypi3 · 17/02/2015 20:56

Fucking hell lil why would anyone say that??? That's a horrible thing to say!

It's good that you are looking at the positives though and planning on getting back to js'ing to get your BFP. It WILL happen. PMA and all that shit.

I'm being a man and watching the football this evening. Love it.

Purplecircle · 17/02/2015 20:56

Gaarghh Jelly what a nightmare! I disguise them as phone now in my phone with a contact with the same initial as the card, the last 4 is the pin no

Hobbit19 · 17/02/2015 21:42

Oh dear Viroids, not a good day. What an emotional roller coaster this ttc is. lil, I don't even know what to say, I felt quite attached to your embryos just seeing them via the Internet, it must be so difficult for you. When people say insensitive things just punch them in the mouth. Then say 'it was meant to be.' Smile
Purple and Stoat, sending good vibes from Austria xxxxxxxxxxx