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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!

999 replies

ChatEnOeuf · 26/01/2015 17:40

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>Something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 37 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2282306-The-37th-Just-Shaggers-are-on-their-way-Watch-out-for-accidental-erections-and-bruising-injections-polish-your-perfect-ovaries-were-climbing-a-mountain-and-digging-deeply-to-get-our-BFPs?msgid=52150588#52150588" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2284897-20th-JSing-GRADS-thread-our-chats-still-filthy-just-not-in-front-of-the-baby" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
jellypi3 · 28/01/2015 19:39

Night!!!

DP just got in and I shoved the Ov stick in his face. So bye for now Wink

lildottie · 28/01/2015 19:49

bat you don't have to tell them. they may not believe your lies but if you stick with your lie enough and they are real friends they will drop it.

CountryGal4 · 28/01/2015 20:06

lil well done on the egg front!!

jelly get Cape wear cape fly!!!

bat congrats!!! Well done . Just relax I'm sure all will go fine!!

LaLa5 · 28/01/2015 20:21

Bat - a line is a line is a mf line!!!!! Congrats gal you're officially up le duff

Wahey I love a bfp I do! Did you do stats yet?

Poochieblue · 28/01/2015 20:21

congrats bat loving it!!!! and I agree with lil when my best friend was pg with her 1st, she had a BBQ for her birthday and was the only one not drinking, I hadn't noticed at 1st but offered her a wine and she used the Anti-biotics line so I dropped it. when she did tell me We just big grinned at each other cos we both knew what had happened! 3 years later exactly the same happened and I didn't even ask, just smiled to myself! they will understand small white lies!! especially since as i think you've mentioned a few have kids too??

happy caping jelly! lol

australopithecus · 28/01/2015 20:26

Oooo-ooh yes, antibiotics is a good cover. Throw some vitamin pills into another medicine jar, preferably two of two different colours, and take them openly at dinner or breakfast! Grin

LaLa5 · 28/01/2015 20:29

Jelly lil is right - I spent over a year shagging until cd20 coz I thought everyone iced before then. We would stop at cd20 and I'd wait excitedly before getting the inevitable bfn. Then I started paying attention to my cycle like you're doing and used ultimate contraband cbfm. That's when I discovered I iced cd21-25 and my lp was 9/10 days.

I took b complex and icing came down to cd 17/8 and the next month I got first bfp. The month after my mc I iced on cd28 and still got bfp.

So the moral is to keep going! Listen to your body, watch for ewcm and keep shagging! You'll get there

gaggiagirl · 28/01/2015 20:31

help
Reply on this thread though so we can swear and be viroids and stuff!

LaLa5 · 28/01/2015 20:39

Gaggia that sounds sore! Could you have popped something? Why not post on grads and see if the resident drs can help?

Poochieblue · 28/01/2015 20:47

oooohhh gaggia definitely having too much sex only jealous as I'm still angry with DH and he's gone missing (aka not home from working on my sisters house!)
definitely go to the drs even if you still feel ok tomorrow!! and let us know!! can't have this, you're supplied to do good writhing during the shag not bad after!!

gaggiagirl · 28/01/2015 20:48

I think I popped my whole left side! DP will never shag me again he's traumatized poor bugger.

jellypi3 · 28/01/2015 20:49

ga what the fuck!!!!!!

jellypi3 · 28/01/2015 20:59

this is making it into the next fred title

jellypi3 · 28/01/2015 20:59

oh thanks la :) will keep shagging

gaggiagirl · 28/01/2015 21:04

Totes shag trauma! Shock

lildottie · 28/01/2015 21:09

ga definitely get thee to a dr. my worry would be eptopic but i guess its too early so more likely a cyst of some sort. eesh

Stoatystoat · 28/01/2015 21:20

ga hope you're ok my lovely

Hobbit19 · 28/01/2015 21:30

Do you think you have had so much sex ga that you have become allergic to it?! Shit the bed I hope you recover soon!
lil bat and la congratulations! A great day on the Fred!
We are being terrible shaggers here which is v disappointing, jumped DH 3rd night in a row and he was not keen and has not been since! He has always been the instigator of nookie and now that it is me I feel a bit of a wrong 'un! Pretty sure I've iced already too so this month may be out already. Meh.

Indigoblue2 · 28/01/2015 21:35

Just a quick pop on to say CONGRATS bat, wonderful news!!!

And you too lil, super progress with the embryos and can't wait till you get them all nestled in properly!

lildottie · 28/01/2015 21:40

indigo yay we miss you! hope alls OK with u!

jellypi3 · 28/01/2015 21:43

indigo!!!! :) how are you hun??

ChatEnOeuf · 28/01/2015 21:46

Congratulations Bat! Enjoy the holiday, drink hot chocolate and remember that Today you are Pregnant Smile

Holy crap Ga, that sounds nasty. Cyst popping and infections are my top two guesses but I only work with babies...they don't do this shit! Hope your GP is helpful.

OP posts:
townsender · 28/01/2015 21:59

Congrats bat, whoop whoop!!!

honeysucklejasmine · 28/01/2015 23:03

Bat huge congratulations my lovely! skiing and bfp i hate you

Lordy ... When type bfp it autocorrects to bfn! Fucking tragic, that.Sad

honeysucklejasmine · 28/01/2015 23:05

Fuuuuuck Ga! Ouchie!