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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!

999 replies

ChatEnOeuf · 26/01/2015 17:40

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>Something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 37 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2282306-The-37th-Just-Shaggers-are-on-their-way-Watch-out-for-accidental-erections-and-bruising-injections-polish-your-perfect-ovaries-were-climbing-a-mountain-and-digging-deeply-to-get-our-BFPs?msgid=52150588#52150588" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2284897-20th-JSing-GRADS-thread-our-chats-still-filthy-just-not-in-front-of-the-baby" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
MazyCrummy · 09/02/2015 22:27

Ah Lil, I'm new so haven't seen as much of your journey as some of these here viroids, but that brought a tear to my eye. So, so pleased for you. Enjoy life as a grad, you've sure earned it x

daisyspice · 09/02/2015 22:30

Aw lil I'm so glad you and Mr lil have finally got there after all that Smile

I'm using all 3 apps ovia fertility friend and clue.....just incase Wink

jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 22:35

Aww lil that made me well up. We are cheering for from here and we will all join you soon I hope! We don't want to see you back here unless it's for a hooyah or two :)

Baton received la. We will do our best (but hopefully will not be lagging behind too far).

I'm all emosh!!

MazyCrummy · 09/02/2015 22:38

Can I ask something? I genuinely am JSing without checking CM or my temp or particularly following my cycle. I just don my cape most days and wait for the symptoms to hit. Is that what any of you viroids do, or am I being too slapdash?

Hobbit19 · 09/02/2015 22:39

Ah Lil, it must feel really weird but totally awesome to be you just now. Also I think your top tips are good tips for life not just ttc!

Ov 'confirmed' by EWCM. If I am on a 38 day cycle then now would be the time for icing so could be why my ovaries are dancing - I can feel both of them though?! Also I got AF 7 days after EWCM last cycle so think that is probs a good indicator for me, so reckon I may have iced 13 days ago. Had some exceptionally light spotting last week. Who else is POAS this week?

TinkerBlue · 09/02/2015 22:39

daisy 3 apps woman? Hooyah indeed! Just shag or just pick one if you must Grin

Hobbit19 · 09/02/2015 22:41

Mazy, you are doing what all good just shaggers should do! I just go with CM and have the Ovia app for cycle tracking. Low maintenance ?

jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 22:41

mazy none of us ever use any contraband of the sort I use every type going, OPK's, clear blue monitor, temping, CM, etc

None. What. So. Ever.

honeysucklejasmine · 09/02/2015 22:41

Lil that was lovely! What an incredible journey you've been on. I am thrilled for you and DH, and a bit teary too. Just fantastic to see the whole journey laid out. You, my dear, are a legend!

La! That was lovely too! All the baton passing... It's totes emosh! Grin

What a lovely day! And to top it all off, my brother was discharged from hospital today. Grin He's home and safe and I am thrilled! Must phone him tomorrow, though knowing him he'll be at work. He better be at home resting! Angry

MazyCrummy · 09/02/2015 22:45

Phew, thanks Pud. I don't think I could be doing with all that checking tbh... I can manage shagging though Grin

TinkerBlue · 09/02/2015 22:45

mazy General rule of thumb is just shag. However, if you suspect there is a problem, use opks and temp for 3 cycles, just to confirm icing. If all 3 cycles are pretty normal then stop, and go back to just shagging. If you spot a problem, tell us all about it and we'll pm lil to fix you Confused

MazyCrummy · 09/02/2015 22:48

Haha, Jelly, no, nothing, of course not. Can I ask, how does it help? Isn't JSing enough? Not being facetious, but if we dtd most days, that covers it, doesn't it?

Hobbit19 · 09/02/2015 22:51

Yep you are covered. I think contraband was invented to just fuel the cray-cray for most ladies! Although I can see that it could be useful for confirmation of icing. When are you due to POAS?

LaLaLaaaa · 09/02/2015 22:51

Honey that's great news!

Mazy we all js but if it's not working some of us use other means to find out what the issue is eg my late ovulation (I was stopping shagging 5 days early every month).

But generally we js!

MazyCrummy · 09/02/2015 22:52

Ok, got it. Shag. Thanks Tink. You'd think I'd have a better grip on this, given that I've managed it 4 times, lol Blush

honeysucklejasmine · 09/02/2015 22:53

Mazy whilst we all shag an awful lot, I also use contraband such a OPK. This is because I am crazy impatient and NEED to know if I iced. However, all I do about it is make sure to slot in an extra shag on the day if I wasn't planning on shagging anyway.

A perfect viroid...

  • shags every other day throughout her cycle, whenever the witch is not in town.
  • only ever POAS if the witch is late.
  • Comiserates with witch victims by recommending wine.
  • is adventurous in the locations and methods she uses to seduce her dp in to using his awesome penis.
  • will never turn down sex, even when ill, although mouth breathing is something you might need to do to get through it!
  • will consider stealth shagging when required. (A stealth shag is any shag which occurs during the working day, in your home or pother suitable, legal, location.)
  • will participate in and encourage jizz based chat.

Did I miss anything?! Grin

MazyCrummy · 09/02/2015 22:55

Erm, Pud, I don't really know. Cycle is utterly random post Mirena. I think I'll know when I need to. Let's face it, by #5, bfp and needing maternity jeans will probably happen at the same time Grin

MazyCrummy · 09/02/2015 23:00

Wow, Honey, ty. Feel as though I should make notes Grin

LaLaLaaaa · 09/02/2015 23:05

My js baby bean was conceived on lunch break stealth shag. Left desk at 12, back at desk at 12:50 having made a baby. Boom!

daisyspice · 09/02/2015 23:05

Ha tink I'm on the brink of total chaos and ocd behaviourisms especially now I've added opk's to the mix although think I've added those just so I can get an extra line Smile

Yeah ur right I'm wasting valuable shagging time updating the buggers

Hooyah received

daisyspice · 09/02/2015 23:10

Ps jelly what was ur personal best that u need to beat? Wink

KatoPotato · 09/02/2015 23:35

I had secret stealth conception lube decanted into a boots own brand pump bottle... I was also secretly taking a wee sample every morning, labelling it, sealing with film and sending in a biohazard container to Clearblue via my village post office.

The day I got my solid smiley, DH had just found out a project he was due to start working on - and the fee being almost a years earnings for us - may be pulled. I still managed to have my dirty way with him even though he was a nervous wreck and clearly wasn't in the mood...

honeysucklejasmine · 09/02/2015 23:44

Kato long time no see! How the devil are you? And now I have to know. Did your dhs project get pulled?

KatoPotato · 10/02/2015 00:11

Smile honey well there was a fortnight of terrible anxiety that even manifested in a tic, but what had originally been planned as a 6minute short for online syndication got changed to a 15minute full episode that will be broadcast internationally (I think... USA and UK at least). He's been working an average of 80hours per week for 6months now but the delivery deadline is next Wednesday thank goodness! Then I can finally get him to dig out all the baby gear from the eaves and garage!

Anyone want to rub my bump for luck while I'm here?

Ainat266 · 10/02/2015 01:07

love your post lil. made me tear up a little all over again.

La I'm sure as JS veterans we'll do our best. ;-)

I was enjoying a nice relatively early night. Was woken up about 45 min ago by pains, mostly on my left side. so much pain I wasn't far from crying. several sharp intakes of breath woke up DH who was concerned but has fallen back asleep pretty quickly. trip to the bathroom has resulted in arse rain. back in bed and cuddling my hot water bottle, pains not as severe, but still there.

This is now the second night in a row I've been woken up by pains in the left side. tonight was definitely worse though.

I'm going to try and get back to sleep for a bit...