Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!

[ChatEnOeuf]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>Something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 37 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2282306-The-37th-Just-Shaggers-are-on-their-way-Watch-out-for-accidental-erections-and-bruising-injections-polish-your-perfect-ovaries-were-climbing-a-mountain-and-digging-deeply-to-get-our-BFPs?msgid=52150588#52150588" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2284897-20th-JSing-GRADS-thread-our-chats-still-filthy-just-not-in-front-of-the-baby" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Ha- I totally remember that Jelly!

Thought I'd be upduffed by Christmas too, might not even be a mum this year at this rate... Sure it'll happen when it's meant to PMA dammit!

Off for 2 weeks

non you Might not be a mummy this year but you WILL be upduffed remember. and your going on a nice fecking holiday we will all be expectant mummy's this year at least!

pud do you have a really long Leutal phase? 14DPO but AF not due till Friday! That's amazing will power there.

I think I joined in august too...

On the holiday chat topic, anyone have any experience with royal carribean cruises?

I joined in Aug too. We are the veterans now!

I love the job description Lemon. Maybe post it on the buses? Recruitment!

Never done a cruise, I've always associated them with old people. Plus I'm not a fan of boats!

I think we should veto that bus lot honey. They sound like the would make bad shaggers. I did some stalking and they advocate AI when too tired to shag...

We shag until our men's penis's break or our fanjo's turn into mush!

I can't keep up with the buses too many folk on and off

Even tried the bump app Christ they are severe and I thought I was harsh they just abuse each other

I'm relatively new to this js'ers Fred and I feel like part of the furniture now

I'm sure if i went on a cruise i think i would instantly find that i hated everyone else on the boat and spend the time raging and plotting murder. I'm a people person

Now starting cycle 8! Fuuuuck! When its been twelve i am getting straight on to the GP.

It's hard to accept that I might not be a mummy this year, especially as i should have been one in a few months time! But i am starting to find myself thinking of reasons not to ttc at the moment. Finance, blah blah blah. So then i think, let's use condoms again, and then i snap out of it!

Fair point jelly!

Daisy you're right! There is a steady group of about 20 on here, which is about right.

Argh! My Internet is utter pants! That and I've managed to grate half the knuckle off my thumb. It makes typing this quite difficult but I'm doing it for you viroids! I love our little family. We do need new recruits (if you're lurking please say hi!) but the bus lot are not the right type! I definitely think you fit on one or the other!

We are going through the should we/shouldn't we dilemma honey. We want a baby so much but with the wedding in 15 months we keep thinking should we stop around June time so me being pg doesn't coincide with the wedding. But then we realise a family is more important to us.

Starting cycle 6 here. Don't know where the last half a year has gone!

It's weird how attached I've become to our little group actually. I'm a sucker for forums but this is the only TTC forum I'm on and this is the only actor Fred I'm on. We are like a dysfunctional group of friends lol!

I'm technically starting cycle 6, but I'm also technically starting cycle 5 and I'm also technically starting cycle 2 ;) so fuck knows lol

I can't believe I'm cycle 8 already. One benefit to short cycles i guess!

Yes, we are a great group! I am glad that people stick around, visiting from the grads threads and going on to Just Mumming too!

Haha I scream fuck knows on a regular basis jelly it's usually ovia that gets the brunt of it changing shit left right and centre

Yeah it's defo one or the other I almost restarted my fb just to join the chat again but couldn't cope with the annoying rants about pole being annoyed then asking u to pm for details

I'm only on cycle 3 don't feel like I have the right to moan yet but u do feel it for everyone I love the fact that everyone's so supportive on her

Sorry for the long mushy post I swear I haven't been drinking

Lol! When you get to year 6 you need to worry! I think I am the longest ttcer on all of the Fred's I've read on mn. When I google things like "conception after 6 years trying" it comes back with daily mail articles rather than real life stuff! Lol! At least I'm still at it though - tenacious aren't I?
jelly honey I am a big advocate of keeping shagging, even when you have little doubts. You both obviously want babies so even when life throws up little questions don't lose sight of the goal. Or before you know it years have gone by! jelly I'd go with cycle 2! It sounds much better

jelly, only tracked one cycle since coming off BC. A 38 dayer, late ov and then only a 7 day lp. So now I am 13dpo it's a good thing either way. So either AF due tomorrow (14dpo) or AF due on Thurs or AF due in about 15 days time if I go with the first cycle! Either way if no AF I'm testing on Sat morning. Ovaries are going mental today, not sure what that is about! To summarise I may, or may not, be up the duff ha ha.

(AF would be due on Thurs if it was a 28 day cycle)

epic post warning.

so stats is usual after a bfp I believe. so for those who have only recently joined here is my story.

name: lil
age: 29
dcs: none
ttc: 2years 3 months.

we found out in Jan 14 that dh had low sperm morphology and low motility. we spent 2014 waiting for referral, which we had first appt 1/4, waiting for my hsg test (to check tubes) and having ultrasounds. finally saw consultant 17/7 who said we needed ivf with icsi. then waited for next appt 8/10! at that appt we were told all our dates for ivf and we went back 16/12 to learn how to do the injections. on 28/12 I started injecting and finally had egg collection on 27/1/15. we got 11eggs and 7 fertilised but by day 2 we only had 2 left. we decided to have both put back, that was 29/1. I have been poas since so I knew the hcg trigger for egg collection had left my system and got first hint of a line on 6/2 at 8dp2dt, or 10dpo in normal terms. my official test date is Wednesday 11/2 and that's when I call hospital and tell them the result.

as for what happens next, for those who asked, I have to continue with oestrogen tablets and progesterone pessaries until 12weeks so have to see my gp for new prescription this week. when I call clinic they will book me in for a scan at 7 weeks. that's when we will find out if we have a singleton or twins!

2 years ago I thought I'd have an 12-18mo by now. every event was "we'll have a baby this time next year" but each AF that past it got harder and harder. I'm not alone, I know others here have been there/are still feeling this. but I say this for those of you starting to get to the point where you start to think "what if there is something wrong?" my advice would be this

1. cut out caffeine, both of you, if you haven't already.
2. if he's still smoking he needs to stop
3. get him taking 1000mg vit c per day +zinc and selenium.
4. make sure the shagging/ejaculation doesn't stop after ovulation. I swear dhs sample was lower count but better quality on the day because of this.
5. don't worry. medical science is incredible and the fertility specialists are amazing.
6. relaxation and positive thinking does make a difference. find a guided relaxation CD and do it as often as you can, preferably daily.
7. drink 2l of fluids a day.

ivf is not physically hard or difficult. it wasn't scary to inject or all consuming. the worst part was the emotional rollercoaster of feeling you might finally get there, and worrying you might not. I wasn't sure I'd put myself through it again if this hadn't worked for that reason alone.

I know I've said it before but I honestly couldn't have survived this without the wonderful viroids on this thread, and the grads who I celebrated for along the way. and an amazing dh of course!

I will be making my way to the grads officially I've been gatecrashing for a while but I will still be here keeping an eye on you, dishing out advice and hooyas and being a hypocrite about early testing!
and those of you on the fb group can always ask me questions on there as well as here. helping you guys with what I've learnt along the way makes the journey worth while.

good luck and gingers crossed for all of you

Gx one if I were you I'd make sure you poas whilst we're still on the lucky Fred! Did you confirm ov 13 days ago? This ovary thing couldn't be a late surge could it? Ooh, sounds like we've got another live one here viroids!

can I also get special dispensation for not having a cat? I feel all forgotten and not wanted as I am currently pet-less! apart from DH

excellant poetry skills rhi
I joined in October so must have been in the next batch of recruits after you seniors!!

daisy ditch ovia and get fertility friend. I can recommend you so you get free VIP use for a few days.

jelly honey don't stop trying for anything. I nearly stopped so I didn't have a Christmas baby, and so I wasn't due on my bffs wedding. if I'd stopped I would have wondered if those were the cycles it would've happened.

Sorry lil x post! Hope you and dh are feeling ok and its starting to sink in!

Yo yo viroids whassup!!

Lil me old pal, I'm fecking over the bloody moon for you! Had a wee tingly nose and teary eyes when I saw your line!

And the rest of you - you're all legends of the sperm (and sporn). Get your capes on and Jump on your dps awesome penises! We are still here lurking to cheer you on! Can't wait to see you all in grads!!!

Tink, honey, jelly, ainat, bother, noniks - the baton has been passed. May your instructions to new viroids be kind but stern. Anyone who tests at 6dpo (yes this includes you lemon) gets a hooyah! Symptom spotting gets a hooyah!

Use of contraband gets a hooyah too coz of course none of us ever do that, that would make is bad JSers

And of course chat now has to start every single Fred ;)

My pom poms are ready and waiting for use!