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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!

999 replies

ChatEnOeuf · 26/01/2015 17:40

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>Something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 37 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2282306-The-37th-Just-Shaggers-are-on-their-way-Watch-out-for-accidental-erections-and-bruising-injections-polish-your-perfect-ovaries-were-climbing-a-mountain-and-digging-deeply-to-get-our-BFPs?msgid=52150588#52150588" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2284897-20th-JSing-GRADS-thread-our-chats-still-filthy-just-not-in-front-of-the-baby" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 20:43

tink it'll be you next. Da rules say so.

I miss bother :(

jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 20:44

Have you shagged at all this cycle tink? Remember ga thought she was out and we told her to LTB because he didn't shag her, only for his awesome penis to get her upduffed.

jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 20:44

It's so much easier to type this stuff on here than on FB! I love the Fred's.

TinkerBlue · 09/02/2015 20:48

We did CD's 5, 6 and 7. Then his knob dropped off (I am surmising - I have not seen it since) Its now CD 17 so I am out. TBH, rather that than hoping only to be disappointed again. Next cycle should be the big one for me, all being well (please god they give me a prescription) The meds should work instantly, many people get their BFP first cycle.

jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 20:50

I'll keep my gx for a BFP for you on my bday then! When are the meds coming through? I remember you had loads of trouble didn't you.

mountaingirl01 · 09/02/2015 20:52

hiya! jelly I was reading some of the ai posts to dh the other day, he was beside himself that sometimes people used syringes because they were too tired

mountaingirl01 · 09/02/2015 20:53

Ps looking forward to you getting those drugs tink

jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 20:55

It's bloody weird to me...I mean sometimes DP and I are tired but then you just do it...lazy...I couldn't imagine getting him to sperlunk in a cup then hoof it up my fanjo with a bit of plastic.

Hobbit19 · 09/02/2015 20:57

I am 14 dpo tomorrow but a) have jiggly ovaries si I think AF is on the way and b) wasn't going to test until Sat anyway. In more positive news Mr Pud is doing circuits with his top off. Fit. (Dons special spangly cape.)

Noniks3 · 09/02/2015 20:58

Evening all, on route to the airport Grin

Holy shit Lil you did it! Really pleased I didn't miss it.

Tink we do appear to be veterans now, this is my 7th month now...have been a good enough JSer this month- 6 out of 9 shagging days so far. Should have iced at the weekend but feck knows anymore. Here on in its just for fun & as promised I have not packed any pissy sticks...Shock AF due 20th.

Nice poem Rhi!

I dispute the cat caveat as a dog person!?

TinkerBlue · 09/02/2015 21:00

Still don't know when, I see a consultant on Weds so am hoping he just writes a prescription. Its been 4 months since diagnosis already. He may want to do further tests first though Sad Am planning on begging!

Noniks3 · 09/02/2015 21:00

Syringes cos you're tired? What the actual fuck?!

Ooh, nice Pud Wink Am looking forward to inappropriate fondling on the beach myself...

jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 21:01

Oo pud I say POAS tomorrow ;)

non I thinks dogs are fine (I secretly prefer them to cats, just don't tell my cats that)

jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 21:02

I want to fondle on the beach!!!! :( boo. My only holiday planned this year so far is to Wales to stay in a caravan for a week!

Noniks3 · 09/02/2015 21:03

Beg Tink!

Chat aren't you away 1/2 term in the Caribbean?! Please bring some of the good fred luck for me & launch it Cubas direction next week!

Lemondrizzletwunt · 09/02/2015 21:03

Noniks we can certainly make an exception for you Grin

TinkerBlue · 09/02/2015 21:04

Non have an amazing holiday. Enjoy every second as I have every faith that you'll come back upduffed and this will be your final holiday sans bambino's! I'm in month 6/7 on here too - believe Jelly and Honey didn't join much before that. That in itself is a pretty good record for Just Shagging atm. No viroids on here for longer than a year! We must all keep up the good work.

jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 21:08

Yeh I joined in August last year, so this is month 6/7!!!

Noniks3 · 09/02/2015 21:10

Phew, me & the spaniels can stay! Grin

Aww, thanks Tink. I hope so, but whatever happens we're doing ALL the things & I shall molest DH as much as possible.

Jelly I've had some lush hols & weather in Wales, fret not. We've had a tough 6 months so really looking forward to feeling the stress melt away

Noniks3 · 09/02/2015 21:11

We joined about the same time Jelly - I think the same day

jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 21:12

Yeh you deserve a break. non. How long are you going for? I've heard Cuba is lovely.

jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 21:12

Yeh I remember us joining together!!

TinkerBlue · 09/02/2015 21:13

I remember you joining jelly but I think I was lurking then Grin

jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 21:16

It's weird thinking about my joining post. DP and I were doing our fake baby month to see how we would
Cope financially without all our going out etc lol! Back when I thought I'd be upduffed by Xmas! How little did I know lol

justtheonethen · 09/02/2015 21:22

Not due til friday honey just feeling like it! Bit twingy!

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