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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!

999 replies

ChatEnOeuf · 26/01/2015 17:40

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>Something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 37 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2282306-The-37th-Just-Shaggers-are-on-their-way-Watch-out-for-accidental-erections-and-bruising-injections-polish-your-perfect-ovaries-were-climbing-a-mountain-and-digging-deeply-to-get-our-BFPs?msgid=52150588#52150588" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2284897-20th-JSing-GRADS-thread-our-chats-still-filthy-just-not-in-front-of-the-baby" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
honeysucklejasmine · 09/02/2015 20:25

Jelly is DP in politics or just a party member? Glad the bath is making you feel better. Smile

Man, it's amazing to think how many life events we are sharing. People getting engaged, pregnant, becoming parents.... We just need someone to get married whilst a JSer and we're set. cough Jelly cough

jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 20:27

Haha my wedding is May 2016 honey. That's an age away!!!!

And DP is just into politics though he wants to be more involved.

honeysucklejasmine · 09/02/2015 20:28

pud me either! I am not really upset this month. So many great things happening to others that i feel absolutely great!

CountryGal4 · 09/02/2015 20:28

So where is everyone cycle wise at the moment? just finished af after a mammoth 42 day cycle when normally a 28 dayer. Not really sure when due to ice this cycle now. Preparing cape nonetheless

MazyCrummy · 09/02/2015 20:28

Ah, Lil, I'm so new I've not followed your story for long but I, along with the JSers of the UK and beyond, had our gingers well and truly crossed and now this is the completely loveliest way to end a slightly bleurgh Monday. Well done Lil and MrLil! Flowers

honeysucklejasmine · 09/02/2015 20:29

Jelly you better be a grad by then. We are not accepting a wait that long!

Did we ever see your ring?

honeysucklejasmine · 09/02/2015 20:31

Country I am CD2!

jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 20:31

I'm sure I showed it? Well here it is anyway :D

gaggiagirl · 09/02/2015 20:32

Congratulations lil! Feels good to say that finally.
Right back to business girls...whos next to piss? There's room for another bfp on this Fred I think. How many bfps is that for this Fred? 4?

jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 20:32

Oops

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!
mountaingirl01 · 09/02/2015 20:32

Phew. Not only has Lil got that well deserved mfbfp but within 20mins there has been a good 2pages of the fred filled with jizz. I missed your chatter terrible stalker

mountaingirl01 · 09/02/2015 20:33

Ps man that's a diamond jelly!

jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 20:33

Ah shit pic, you get the gist. It's a simple but lovely ring ;) I'm due to piss 5th march. I'm also due to ice on my birthday next cycle haha!

Lemondrizzletwunt · 09/02/2015 20:33

WANTED: New Viroids

SALARY: voluntary position

JOB DESCRIPTION: To come and keep us company on what will be devastatingly quiet Fred now that Chat bestowed her lucky upduffedness on us all. You will be required to impart knowledge on a regular basis (knowledge can be real or made-up) as the lovely Lil is now a Grad.

REQUIREMENTS:
Must be conversant in filth
A lover of TMI
Happy to discuss EWCM
Knowledge of contraband
Able to see the squintiest of squinty lines on OPKs
Ability to post prolifically
Proclivity for dirty poetry desirable but not essential.

Apply within.

daisyspice · 09/02/2015 20:33

Glad u ladies are back I've missed u all Smile

I'm cd6 trying opk's this month since my cycles have a mind of their own Hmm

jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 20:34

Aww thanks mountain you are much missed over here

jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 20:35

lemon you forgot the lover of sporn requirement

TinkerBlue · 09/02/2015 20:35

I feel like its me!!!! Slightly overinvested there!!! So happy for lil

SCIENCE WORKS BITCHES!!!

I think our collective PMA mustve had something to do with it

So who's next - I am out this month BFP date is now 21st March, but that's dependent on getting the motherfucking drugs I need for next cycle. I feel totally upbeat about it now though, lil you have given me great hope Grin

jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 20:36

tink why are you out this month??? Also your next BFP date is my birthday...

Lemondrizzletwunt · 09/02/2015 20:37

Jelly shit! I know there was something I was missing...

ERRATUM: MUST ALSO BE A LOVER OF SPORN
Also unfazed by arse rain, cunthawks and pictures of cats. In fact, must own a cat.

Minion · 09/02/2015 20:38

Lil
You're so calm! I hope you're celebrating hard at home with dh.
After all this time, you deserve it xx

jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 20:39

Fuck me I can't wait to get back to shagging. I didn't beat my personal best last month, gonna go for it this time round.

jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 20:40

Yeh her and DH are taking it all in min :)

Oh I was reading some of those posters on the buses Fred's...they are baaaaaad shaggers, they do this AI shit. Not JS'ers at all! No penis-vag connection at all!!!

TinkerBlue · 09/02/2015 20:41

Bother if you're out there we need you back in the fold!!

You meet all of the criteria that Lemon has duly outlined above and we have collectively proven our ability to get viroids upduffed. Plus I miss you and am worried that we've not heard from you forever! Sad

Its times like these I hope to hear from viroids that needed a break/grads

TinkerBlue · 09/02/2015 20:43

jelly i'm out this month because DH has forgotten what his cock is for! Also I don't have meds still and have been told I need my prolactin level at a third of what it currently is for my eggs to fertilise.

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