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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!

999 replies

ChatEnOeuf · 26/01/2015 17:40

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>Something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 37 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2282306-The-37th-Just-Shaggers-are-on-their-way-Watch-out-for-accidental-erections-and-bruising-injections-polish-your-perfect-ovaries-were-climbing-a-mountain-and-digging-deeply-to-get-our-BFPs?msgid=52150588#52150588" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2284897-20th-JSing-GRADS-thread-our-chats-still-filthy-just-not-in-front-of-the-baby" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
honeysucklejasmine · 09/02/2015 20:03

braces self

lildottie · 09/02/2015 20:03

Sorry everyone for killing the thread. Those on the app get thee to the web, for there is a frer to be seen!

You may now all resume normal service.

Thanks for the lucky thread Chat Grin

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!
RhiannonElward · 09/02/2015 20:04

Congrats again, Lil I'm so chuffed for you. When do you have a scan? What happens next?

daisyspice · 09/02/2015 20:05

Congrats lil SmileSmileSmile

Ps I missed the chat so much I even considered the bump......they are sooooo mean

Hugs to all my js'ers

CountryGal4 · 09/02/2015 20:06

Let the filth continue. Mother viroid is upduffed! Quick someone say jizz!

honeysucklejasmine · 09/02/2015 20:06

YAY! MFBFP! Lil, you and the DH enjoy this. Today, you are future parents!

Chat, you're amazing!

MyBlackCat · 09/02/2015 20:07

Wahooooooo Lil - congratulations x

TinkerBlue · 09/02/2015 20:09

Yay lil amazing!! Congratulations and gingers crossed for sticky beans xx Flowers

Chat we're going to need you to start some more Freds....

Ainat266 · 09/02/2015 20:10

Already posted on FB but I am so excited for you lil. DH thinks I'm crazy but I'm all excited and tearing up. Here's hoping it's twins!!!!!!!!!

Poochieblue · 09/02/2015 20:10

I have now actually shed tears!! mommy JSer is flying the nest!!! am sooooooooooooooo happy right now!!!

just for you country JIZZ!!!!!!

jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 20:10

Best bath ever!!!!!! Fuck yes lil.

chat can you do all our Fred's lol!

honeysucklejasmine · 09/02/2015 20:13

I am so proud. Lil, what a beauty. You handled everything with such a fantastic poise and grace. And now, you are upduffed. The Undergrads will miss you.

CountryGal4 · 09/02/2015 20:14

If she wants to I think the next Fred should be lil dedicated

justtheonethen · 09/02/2015 20:14

Lil blooming marvellous news!

How are we all shaggers? 10dpo here, feeling like af on way. goes back to huge galaxy bar

Hobbit19 · 09/02/2015 20:15

MFBFMFBFMFP!!!!!!!!!!!!! ? Gah, this ttc malarkey is awesome/knackering and I'm not even the one that is upduffed. MEGA JIZZ.

Toast85 · 09/02/2015 20:16

I think the next Fred should simply be 'the one after the one when lil got her BFP' or something.
What a flipping fantastic Fred this has been!

RhiannonElward · 09/02/2015 20:18

Allow me to restart the filth with a poem about jizz. Ahem.

When your beaver it shakes and his knees start to quake,
Jizz.

Sticky it be and inside of me,
Jizz.

Legs in the air, keeping it there,
Jizz.

Worrying my eggs, then running down my legs,
Jizz.

CM watch begins and it confuses things,
Jizz.

Thanks, carry on.

jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 20:20

Fuck me let's fill this Fred up soon! It's been so long coming haha!!!!

As for me, I'm still dealing with a shitty witch but the bath helped. DP is at a Labour Party thing so I'm having a night with the cats and my book!

RPopz · 09/02/2015 20:20

Blimey, feeling mega old skool... don't recognise any names here now! Shock Decamping from the grads Fred to say WOOHOO Lil! Grin

honeysucklejasmine · 09/02/2015 20:20

Just, how long is your LP normally? Is AF due already?

Jcandy · 09/02/2015 20:21

And we're back!!
Congratulations lil!!! Grin you are a beautiful lady who so deserves this. We will miss you!

honeysucklejasmine · 09/02/2015 20:22

LMFAO Rhi, you're a legend!

ChatEnOeuf · 09/02/2015 20:22

Wonderful, wonderful line :)

I can do Freds...

OP posts:
Hobbit19 · 09/02/2015 20:24

Ha ha love the jizz poem. Good to see the Fred getting busy again but so glad we waited. Think AF is on her way and don't even care ha ha ?

ZylaB · 09/02/2015 20:24

lil congrats, I'm so so happy for you :)

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