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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!

999 replies

ChatEnOeuf · 26/01/2015 17:40

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>Something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 37 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2282306-The-37th-Just-Shaggers-are-on-their-way-Watch-out-for-accidental-erections-and-bruising-injections-polish-your-perfect-ovaries-were-climbing-a-mountain-and-digging-deeply-to-get-our-BFPs?msgid=52150588#52150588" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2284897-20th-JSing-GRADS-thread-our-chats-still-filthy-just-not-in-front-of-the-baby" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
ChatEnOeuf · 07/02/2015 22:49

Welcome newbies! It's just not right!

OP posts:
Ainat266 · 08/02/2015 21:50

DH and I are seriously contemplating a dream holiday this summer... Part of me is reluctant to book anything 'just in case' I do happen to get preggers. I don't even have cycles yet. The end of July, beginning of August is when we want to go away, so about 6 months away...

Argh! I can't put everything on hold just in case...

Why does it not work the way secondary school leads to to believe? Barely look at a boy and you'll get upduffed.

MrsWatts · 08/02/2015 21:51

Hello, I'm new here and this looks like my kind of thread!

Name: Mrs Watts
Age: 37
DC: None, but we have an adorable cockapoo doggy who is our fur baby!
TTC: About to start. My DH had a vasectomy reversal 6 days ago so we'll be starting in a couple of weeks. Not expecting anything straight away though but looking forward to lots of practice ;-)

MrsWatts · 08/02/2015 21:53

Ainatt, we've got a dream holiday to California booked for August. We don't want to put life on hold and this may be the last summer we can have a proper grown up holiday for quite a few years!

LaLaLaaaa · 09/02/2015 02:59

Don't put life on hold - you'll manage if you get upduffed. I took 16 months to get upduffed and missed Glastonbury because I presumed if be pregnant. I wasn't!

LaLaLaaaa · 09/02/2015 02:59

Hi mrs'

LaLaLaaaa · 09/02/2015 03:00

Sorry meant to be an exclamation mark! Hi mrs!

jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 11:19

Welcome Mrs W :) Apologies for the quiet fred, i'm certain it will burst with life tomorrow again...................

lildottie · 09/02/2015 12:50

no jelly Wednesday! don't corrupt me! I'm holding out on the frer until Wednesday! although there's still a few hundred posts left so carry on. just not too chatty!

australopithecus · 09/02/2015 13:07

Good that you're still here with us lil! Flowers

honeysucklejasmine · 09/02/2015 13:32

Hi MrsW! Welcome. Sorry for quietness... There may be a bean brewing that we want to appear on this thread, so we are so much quieter than normal. Weds onwards, there will be a party up in here!

Vasectomy reversal eh? Does your OH already have children? Smile My friend is trying to persuade his Dr to let him have one. He has one child and says that's enough!

AF is here. Had the dilemma this morning... Go to work feeling lousy or miss out on my wages (I'm self employed). Decided i need the cash (duh!) and actually it's not been that bad. Much easier than my old job whilst on AF. Good news!

MrsWatts · 09/02/2015 14:07

He doesn't have any children (yet!) but didn't think he'd want any when he was younger. He's changed his mind now and can't wait to be a daddy! We're not getting our hopes up too soon though.

jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 14:31

oh shit honey :( that sucks! still there's always next month! we're still scarily in sync!

And sorry lil i thought OTD was tomorrow! Ignore me!!

Remember I said AF was going easy on me this month....she heard. The fucker.

jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 14:33

Oh and I had the whole "go to work or call in sick" thing this morning honey. I opted for work!

TinkerBlue · 09/02/2015 15:30

Also suffering but soldiering on here - had another weird fainting episode and am wfh. Boss doesn't know - but could easily find out and i'll just have to be honest with him if he asks! Hope you both feel better soon, spent lots of wfh time consulting Dr Google about the dreaded tumour. And miraculously feel better about it!

I cannot wait to graduate now! I think Noniks jelly honey we have become old timers! HTF did that happen? We better get reading up on biology!

Welcome newbies

jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 16:34

I know how shit is that tink. And by shit, i mean awesome for lil and la and dulcet and purple and chat and all the others who have graduated recently and left us behind but shit that now we are going to be the senior js'ers....

I shall say this now...I know NOTHING, so don't look at me for advice :D

Hope you feel ok tink!! AF sucks!

RhiannonElward · 09/02/2015 16:40

Just popping in for a quick hello, want to leave plenty of room for Lil's omfgbfmfp on Wednesday but just wanted to say

HELLO SHAGGERS!

to all the newbies. Keep at it viroids, you're doing us all proud! Smile

ChatEnOeuf · 09/02/2015 16:42

Ooh, Tink you be careful lady. Dr Google rarely knows jack about anything...step away!

Welcome MrsW, good luck and have fun testing out the reversal. How does it work - does he have to send in a sample to check or do you JS and hope for the best?

The fucker indeed Jelly and Honey. How dare she visit you both. Hope you've got some drugs and alcohol in stock.

OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 09/02/2015 17:02

Jelly and I are in perfect unison as always!

Yes, being a senior undergrad is sad but we learned so much from our "upper classwomen" i think we can handle our new freshwomen! Wink

TinkerBlue · 09/02/2015 18:15

Don't worry chat - really just been reading old mn and nethuns threads that consist off "I had that and now have 4 kids and 3 more on the way" (not quite, perhaps but yswim): more positive stories of peoples recovery than anything too scientific.
We could do with recruiting some more doctors/scientists couldn't we? We seem to have had a lot graduate recently. I am clueless about that sort of thing - although can quite happily parrot advice that has been offered to me previously.
Any of you newbies a gynae? That would be handy!!

Hobbit19 · 09/02/2015 19:12

I am a Biology teacher and all the wisdom I can offer is 'my ovaries feel weird today'. Think we need to do some recruiting!

jellypi3 · 09/02/2015 19:15

Shall we go spam the buses for JS'er material?

MyBlackCat · 09/02/2015 19:25

4dpo and I'm bored. I'm cooking my dinner - salmon in a lemon dill sauce with cherry tomatoes, new potatoes, cabbage and broccoli.

I've booked a holiday for July, already wasted 14 months of my life ttc. If I'm not upduffed this month I'm going to go skiing in March I'm tempted to go even if I am!

Welcome newbies x

MyBlackCat · 09/02/2015 19:27

I studied sports science at Uni - don't think I'll be much help here Grin

honeysucklejasmine · 09/02/2015 20:02

Ha ha Cat, you can help us all get back in to our jeans after pregnancy right?

Speaking of, my friend had a seven pound baby and is back in her tiny jeans about a week later! Shock

I think we need to say "due to the phenomenal success of our last thread, we need new members!"

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