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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!

999 replies

ChatEnOeuf · 26/01/2015 17:40

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>Something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 37 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2282306-The-37th-Just-Shaggers-are-on-their-way-Watch-out-for-accidental-erections-and-bruising-injections-polish-your-perfect-ovaries-were-climbing-a-mountain-and-digging-deeply-to-get-our-BFPs?msgid=52150588#52150588" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2284897-20th-JSing-GRADS-thread-our-chats-still-filthy-just-not-in-front-of-the-baby" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
Hobbit19 · 06/02/2015 16:07

5hell, you sound like our kind of woman, come on in!
Had a pants day at work today so off to chuck some Earl Grey about like a total rebel. Smile

TinkerBlue · 06/02/2015 16:25

Welcome 5hell

Loving the drinks throwing, am about to throw some ginger beer for missing icing this month! Smash!

australopithecus · 06/02/2015 16:58

daisy yes! Rose's (of the line cordial and lime marmalade fame) makes it!

jellypi3 · 06/02/2015 16:58

I'll throw something relatively tame as I'm at the mid way mark of the TWOT!

Toast85 · 06/02/2015 18:06

I'm throwing my water bottle! Just for the hell of it! I like this drinks chucking business, feel like such a rebel :)

australopithecus · 06/02/2015 18:20

DC just threw the bottle across the bed in support.

...

Unfortunately I have to clean it up now. Hmm

TinkerBlue · 06/02/2015 19:30

It's after 7pm on a Friday, is this an appropriate time to throw a bottle of prosecco down my neck? Thought so, can always rely on you viroids for support ;)
Still mid shagging drought here, Dh has gone for a snooze.... How very dare he, will do damage with the prosecco in his absence. That'll learn him. Also going to make homemade healthy pizza which will no doubt be revolting. Hah!

Noniks3 · 06/02/2015 21:22

Absolutely Tink. Also can we do a 90's esque boyband dance routine with our N-syncing? Would join you but have been 'dry' for 5 weeks in a desperate bikini mission she says whilst vigorously body brushing

Ended up falling asleep all pre-seeded up waiting for DH to get home only an hour late! but insisted I got the sex before he was allowed any rugger bugger time no Gaggia!! Stop getting your hopes up

Welcome 5hell, great to have you along

off to throw body brush in solidarity

CountryGal4 · 07/02/2015 01:39

Bless you noniks

gaggiagirl · 07/02/2015 09:04

noniks Grin
Throws peppermint tea bag across room.

MazyCrummy · 07/02/2015 10:23

Please can I come in? I've been lurking for a couple of days and I like you all a lot already Grin

Obssessiveness comes easily, so I'm steering clear of anything but mucho cape wearing. DH is having the time of his life.

Name: MazyCrummy
Age: 37
DC: erm, 4 (12/10/8/4), plus a selection of puppies, guinea pigs, geckos and a solitary fish
TTC: January 15, total Newby (this time around, lol)

TinkerBlue · 07/02/2015 10:33

Welcome mazy Smile

Lol non at least you got the job done though eh!

Hobbit19 · 07/02/2015 10:42

Committed to the cause non, I like it!

Welcome Mazy, seems like you are a pro at this ttc malarkey, going for number 5, eek! Grin

DulcetMoans · 07/02/2015 11:11

Hi mazy! Come on in! Fred has been a bit quiet this week so not on top form but everyone will be back and speaking bollocks next week! Going for number 5? Brave! Lovely though. What do you have so far?

lil, did I see some hope over in the FB page? Everything crossed for you - even my legs and eyes!

honeysucklejasmine · 07/02/2015 16:24

Welcome 5hell & Mazy! Smile

australopithecus · 07/02/2015 16:32

Hallo newbies. Step1 You need to throw some sort of liquid beverage asap. And........Go!

LaLaLaaaa · 07/02/2015 16:57

Welcome newbies!! In case you're wondering why this Fred is so quiet it's because it's a lucky Fred and we're waiting for lil to test so she can get her bfp on it!

MazyCrummy · 07/02/2015 18:04

Thanks all. I've got DD12, then DSs10/8/4. I'll be brief and leave plenty of space on this lucky Fred for Lil.
PS it's been my mum's 60th birthday party this afternoon... really couldn't throw anything, sorry Blush

LaLaLaaaa · 07/02/2015 18:48

I can't remember why we are throwing stuff but I just threw some orange juice if that counts?

Wow mazy going for number 5! Kudos Grin

MazyCrummy · 07/02/2015 18:51

Haha La. I hate watching TV, what can I say? Grin

honeysucklejasmine · 07/02/2015 19:01

I splashed some cointreu just now. But it landed in another glass, so win win!

honeysucklejasmine · 07/02/2015 19:03

Mai tai in a martini glass. #sorrynotsorry

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!
jellypi3 · 07/02/2015 19:38

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck honey i want a drink so bad right now!

Ainat266 · 07/02/2015 20:23

Just popping by to say hello to 5hell and Mazy Grin.

I've been avoiding typing on here as not wanting to contribute too much to filling up the Fred!

I will throw my coke life across the room to show some solidarity, but really wishing I had some passion fruit cordial! I will have to keep an eye out for that one!

My hormones have been a bit fucked up again this week. Crazy week at work though which possibly may have contributed. Next week I have parents evening so another busy week but I don't believe anything will top this week! Possibly even more crazy then when we had Ofsted come to visit!!!

TinkerBlue · 07/02/2015 20:37

Uh oh, found myself sitting with the yummies! And they've just eaten half of my dinner! Am going to throw some prosecco again v. Shortly! Honey I want! My head may hurt tomorrow but whatever gets you through huh? Wink