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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!

999 replies

ChatEnOeuf · 26/01/2015 17:40

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>Something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 37 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2282306-The-37th-Just-Shaggers-are-on-their-way-Watch-out-for-accidental-erections-and-bruising-injections-polish-your-perfect-ovaries-were-climbing-a-mountain-and-digging-deeply-to-get-our-BFPs?msgid=52150588#52150588" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2284897-20th-JSing-GRADS-thread-our-chats-still-filthy-just-not-in-front-of-the-baby" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
lildottie · 05/02/2015 23:32

yep toast don't you be apologising. its not a competition on here, its a journey and everyone's journey is different but we're all along for the ride Wink

I'm going bed. if I go to sleep I'll be 8hrs closer to otd! Grin

honeysucklejasmine · 05/02/2015 23:39

Yes toast! If you weren't a JSer maybe we'd hate you, but our aim is for every viroid to be upduffed, no matter how long it takes! You're one of us and we are thrilled for you.

So, POAS in the morning. Then work then packing for lovely road trip to Brizzle. If BFN, will pack excessive quantities of alcohol. time to empty the cocktail cupboard

australopithecus · 06/02/2015 05:49

Viroid down viroid down! Fuck.
Presume this is AF. Fuck.
Fuckity fuck.
Fuck.
Angry

Hobbit19 · 06/02/2015 06:45

Oh boo aus, hope you are okay. Gx honey!

LaLaLaaaa · 06/02/2015 07:18

Boo aus boo, tell her she's not welcome! Flowers

jellypi3 · 06/02/2015 07:59

Ah shit aus that's crap. :( lots of wine!

Any news honey

How long before AF does your temp dip? Cramps are intensifying today so I'm 99% sure she's on her way

australopithecus · 06/02/2015 08:02

Thanks girls! I've already had threw cups of coffee in protest!
Also dying to hear news from honey?!

LaLaLaaaa · 06/02/2015 08:03

Mine would dip on the day jelly. Too early for yours surely

australopithecus · 06/02/2015 08:03

already had threw cups of coffee???
Three three three (!) cups of coffee, although frankly I do feel like throwing them around a bit as well!

TinkerBlue · 06/02/2015 08:20

Boo aus throw all the drinks.

honey?

honeysucklejasmine · 06/02/2015 08:23

Nope, BFN. But FF doesn't have me due until Sunday and i think i iced late so maybe even Tuesday. Will test again on Monday If she doesn't arrive. Smile

Sorry Aus. Sad

jellypi3 · 06/02/2015 08:34

Aww honey at least you can enjoy the weekend!

la ff I expecting AF to arrive tomorrow based on 26 day cycle so gx temp doesn't drop tomorrow! Assuming my LP is 12 days (based purely on assumptions) then she's not due until Wednesday I think.

Although is your LP based on DPO (so 12 DPO will be a LP of 12 days) or does it include day of icing

LaLaLaaaa · 06/02/2015 08:43

'Days post ovulation', therefore starts day after. Try to out it out of your mind and get on with things Smile

jellypi3 · 06/02/2015 08:51

Ok thanks ;)

LaLaLaaaa · 06/02/2015 08:56

I know it's easy for me to say! Grin

CountryGal4 · 06/02/2015 09:03

Aus boo. I imagine the witch as the one from the wizard of oz "I'll get you my pretties"

batfish · 06/02/2015 09:36

Morning viroids, I made it over to grads in an effort to believe I am upduffed and think positively about it but am still shitting my pants so will pop in here too if that's ok!

Last night was the first night of our hol that was extremely drunken - it was fun up to a point and then everyone was so wasted that I just didn't feel like I could contribute to the situation anymore, there are a few epic hangovers this morning though and I'm feeling smug Grin The no drinking thing has actually been fine surprisingly, last night was the first time all week where I felt like it was me and them. I tried to join in as much as I could - played drinking games with my water and everything haha. They are all being very lovely though, need to remember when we get home that it is a secret!

Hope you are all doing good, there are a few due to POAS soon aren't there? jelly am keeping fingers crossed that all of your shagging pays off!!

jellypi3 · 06/02/2015 11:36

Oo enjoy your holiday bat!!!

I hope so to but i'm not sure it has! Cramping is back today

daisyspice · 06/02/2015 11:40

Morning viroids

So bleeding has now stopped after 2 days of pink, reddish brown bleeding wouldn't say it was light but not medium either

Last months AF (first after coming off the pill was 2 days)

So am I a weirdo that has two days of AF or could this in fact have been IB?? Kinda just wanna know if out this month behind me or not Sad what do u guys think?

Confused.com

jellypi3 · 06/02/2015 11:51

Daisy it's difficult to be sure, I had a similar experience last year, it was my third AF after coming off BCP and I had a very short, very light 2 day bleed, and it was early in my cycle too (CD17). It turned out to be AF, and the only way I knew was because AF showed up again 24 days later, so it was a stressful time. The only way to know for sure is to wait a few days (maybe until tuesday) and test then to see if you are pg.

Gx

australopithecus · 06/02/2015 12:06

bat you not being able to contribute anything further? Yes, that's how I feel about this TTC malarkey.
daisy what I had hoped was an ib turned into an AF, so clearly I know nothing. Hmm
throws passion fruit cordial

daisyspice · 06/02/2015 12:17

No worries I shall wait it out and see how it pans out trying to stay positive but easier said than done

I was so naive about this TTC malarkey aus Wink is there passion fruit cordial? Never knew such a thing existed can't stop thinking how nice that would taste with some vodka Smile

daisyspice · 06/02/2015 13:29

Bowing out of this month ladies it is most def AF so planning on drowning my sorrows with copious amounts of alcohol and getting shitfaced Smile

Gx to everyone due to Poas soon

5hell · 06/02/2015 14:26

are you accepting new members? you ladies seem witty and wise!

my vital statistics are...
name: 5hell
age: 30+
DCs: zero
ttc: since jan 2015 (ie total novice)

ERTD arrived this morning, so i guess this is my first official unsuccessful cycle. Number of sticks peed on=0; ROC=not needed one yet; contraband=0.

thinking a glass of wine with the rugby to commiserate would be appropraite!?

jellypi3 · 06/02/2015 14:52

Welcome 5hell :) We always welcome new viroids, so long as you can keep up with our filth!

I warn you the fred is pretty quiet at the moment because we are saving this lucky fred for one of our long standing members to get her BFP, but once she does i'm sure this fred will fill up again :)