Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!

[ChatEnOeuf]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>Something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 37 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2282306-The-37th-Just-Shaggers-are-on-their-way-Watch-out-for-accidental-erections-and-bruising-injections-polish-your-perfect-ovaries-were-climbing-a-mountain-and-digging-deeply-to-get-our-BFPs?msgid=52150588#52150588" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2284897-20th-JSing-GRADS-thread-our-chats-still-filthy-just-not-in-front-of-the-baby" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

I'm excited for tomorrow honey

I'm excited for everyone actually, this is the most exciting week for pissers! I know AF will arrive to piss on my parade for pissing but it's still exciting!!

6DPO here!

I'm still here pud. Witch turned up today 13 days late. I'm just glad I know what's going on. Shall be getting shit faced tomorrow and currently have Pom Poms at the ready for you gals pissing soon. I'm ready to poas again somewhere between 4th march and 1st of April. This cycle viroids i shall be the definition of a JSer

wait?... ? what!??! country you are poas somewhere in the middle of a 4 week timeframe? is this cos this cycle was completely messed up?

poochie haha yep on account of my screwy mean body going from a 28 to a 41 cycle

Hi all

still nothing on sticks but only the equivalent of 9dpo today. I'm not feeling it tbh. I don't think it's worked. I know it's too early to get a bfp/get symptoms/have any idea but, i dunno, i just don't feel it.

congrats to toast. Looks like you iced late if digital saying 1-2 weeks. gx for an uneventful 9 months.

Wierd there has been so much spotting going on around here lately. By here I mean you lot, not me. none here!

Ears are burning! Yes I'm on the grads fred for the time being. The spotting has continued and it's so unsettling. I had a scan yesterday at 6+3. There is a sac which is good but was too early for a heartbeat apparently so I have to go again next week. I'm rocking in a corner shitting myself. They identified an area of bleeding in my uterus which is the source of the spotting, on the upside it is separate to the baby, so when I'm bleeding, it isn't the baby. The good thing is I'm in the system now. I'm warning you ladies, you're pretty much on your own at this stage. I have been bleeding for two weeks until I was able to get some answers, and even then, they can't do anything. Just a waiting game. My anxiety is through the roof. Just want my baby to hang in there!

Afternoon all! Epic post warning…

Chat - can you start all our threads?! Am a little worried I’m going to get back from holibobs & there’ll be no one left but me?!

Jelly hurrah for icing not that you weren’t but now it’s confirmed

Country I’m sorry that AF teased you & got you in the end – she’s complete twunt.

Welcome Blackcat

Holy crap – congrats Rhi!

Bat hope you've relaxed a little & are enjoying your holiday

Stoat we'll all keep everything crossed for you - but it's positive news so far my love.

Lil, you IVF angel how are you getting on? Been thinking about you lots (in a PMA way not a creepy way) & wishing all the luck for you. Remember lots of viroids (including Stoat most recently) have not felt remotely PG prior to a stomping BFP. You’ve done everything in your power to give yourself every chance too. The wait must be agony, but you’re so close now.

Aus most excellent shagging – great work!

Toast you bloomin’ kitten! Great news

Gaggia you bumming legend will you post you’re stats already?!

One & Daisy hope the spotting is a sign of good things

Honey GX for you POASing! How is your brother getting on?

Pooch have you iced? Are you POASing next week?

I am running with the penis baton you & me Tink in a JSing relay?? as icing should imminent & I’ve got some fine pant snot going on. AF due on 20th/21st. However will be in Cuba…am only packing fanjo plugs & NO tests in a LOS evoking effort… Had some friend announce they were upduffed this week, really please for them, but hearing them crow on about how easy it was – they just ‘came of the pill & weren’t even really trying’ was like a kick in the guts. Also if one more turd tells me I am going to conceive on honeymoon I am going to headbutt them. 6 now. Yes 6!! Actually no I’m not going to conceive ‘on’ honeymoon as we’ve been trying unsuccessfully for 7 months now & despite booking our trip for our ‘fertile window’ a CP screwed up my cycles & now I’m going have a period whilst we’re at the fecking beach. ARGH!! and breathe

That feels better As you were viroids

:( lil i can't imagine how stressful this time is for you, but try to stay optimistic. Did you say the success rates for IVF are about 30%? That's higher than the chances of concieving naturally each month right (which is about 20% iirc).

The wait is almost up. Do you have a new docs appointment to go to ?

non epic post!!! enjoy cuba hun!

Hi all. Witch got me yesterday so just in the eating masses of chocolate to make myself feel better stage of the month.

Oh lil stay positive! I know this must be the hardest twot ever but it's time to test soon. You won't know till then! I've still got everything crossed for you

Hi! My bro text me (well, his carer text me from his phone) to say he's no longer in ICU! Woooo!

honey thats fab news!

Jelly no docs appt, i just phone them with the result of my poas on test day. If its bfp they book a 7wk scan, if its bfn i wait 10 weeks to see someone to talk about it.

Hoping the fact we've sold our house in 2 days after just 2 viewings is a sign that good things are coming my way!

non lovely to hear from you, we are still n'sync (we should do a song) I'm due af about then too. Although ewcm has disappeared today, so I think I may have missed the boat this month. Best of luck for a Cuba bfp!!

Yay honey and good things happen in threes so hopefully next will be your bfp, then something else nice (chip butty?).

Sorry about the bitch witch jc onwards to next cycle

lil there's that self preservation mode kicking in again then? 9dpo is way to early as well you know (although I would absolutely be pissing every day in your shoes too). You can't expect to feel any hormonal changes at this stage of the game. My money would be on a Monday bfp for you lady. Hoping with everything I have that this will be a success, hang on in there. If it means anything I am completely 100% convinced it has worked.

I believe we have the right to demand stats from all recent bfps. Don't believe I've seen any for anyone yet?

I know right! Stats people!!!

honey fab news x

lil, can't imagine what this current twot must be like. It is incredibly exciting but I think a little bit of self preservation is not a bad thing. I am not trying to be a downer, I REALLY want this to work for you but I think it is a good idea to prepare yourself for all options. I'm sure that we will all be screaming and jumping up and down at our phones in excitement but just in case we don't all get to do that we are 100% here for you however you feel xxxxxx

We are rooting for you lil! And yes 9dpo is too early to feel any changes so keep that positive mind of yours open.

Honey that's fab news xx

lil I didn't feel remotely pg to begin with and had FA symptoms. I was certain there was nothing going on. I still got bfn on 11dpo and BFP on 12dpo.

Congrats toast - great news!

Well I've iced according to CBFM and have dtd on 4 of the 6 best days so gx this is our month. Feel I'm in a win win situation this month. Either I will be upduffed or I book a ski holiday if the bastards at work let me have a week off

My upduffed stats:
DTD CD6,9,10,11,17,18,24,25.
Ovulated......at some point. According to temp chart CD13 but positive opks CD11 and CD12.
On CD20 my temp.dropped by a whole degree. I think this was implantation. Positive preg test CD26.
Symptoms before test, more discharge and i woke up at 3am to eat a biscuit and nearly actually died of a bust fanjo.

toast amazing news! Massive congrats!x

Sotm gaggia? Nice stats!

Cat gx it's your month!

Thanks all :)

Lil it must be the absolute longest 2 weeks of yours and DP's lives, hang on in there. We're all behind you!

My stats:
DTD cd 17, 19, 21, 23, 25
Mystery ovulation day, no idea. Though yes, must have been fairly late.
Pre-BFP symptoms: spotting on days I thought AF might arrive (cd 29, 30, 32). Also ever so slightly tender boobies and tiny twinges in my pelvis but probably wouldn't even have noticed them if I wasn't looking out for them.
Today however I have been sooo thirsty and my pelvis is much more twingy.
I have to say I am sorry really for being such a kitten, especially as you can see from my stats that (due to having to wait for a scan result for me, not related to ttc but depending on the result it could have meant plans were on hold for longer) we only started trying halfway through the month and we were fully expecting to have missed my icing this month. You guys all deserve BFPs so much, you've all been through a lot more stress over it than I have!

Add to my stats- BFN cd 31, BFP cd 33!

Toast you hush. Don't you dare apologise or think you deserve it any less !!!!! I've only been here one cycle but know that this place is not about people deserving more than others.

Toast don't be daft :) you've every right to get pg and everyone's delighted for you! X