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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!

999 replies

ChatEnOeuf · 26/01/2015 17:40

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>Something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 37 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2282306-The-37th-Just-Shaggers-are-on-their-way-Watch-out-for-accidental-erections-and-bruising-injections-polish-your-perfect-ovaries-were-climbing-a-mountain-and-digging-deeply-to-get-our-BFPs?msgid=52150588#52150588" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2284897-20th-JSing-GRADS-thread-our-chats-still-filthy-just-not-in-front-of-the-baby" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
ZylaB · 30/01/2015 21:49

ainat i have no idea what it was made of! Was there to 'fill the gap' when he had to have the other one removed. It did feel a bit different when you squeezed it! (This is not DH by the way lol, an old ex.... Who on occasion we used to pretend was Russian and give him the surname 'Bollockoff'!, ahhh I miss alcohol :) )

honeysucklejasmine · 30/01/2015 22:23

Hi viriods!

Lil i think the plural nature of the autocorrect is deffo a sign!

Ga i think i see one! I found that putting a light behind it really helps with a FRER.

The only problem with this lucky Fred is that it will end before my AF comes! Stop talking so much! Angry

Poochieblue · 30/01/2015 22:25

I have the same problem honey! in fact at this rate it will end before I even ice Angry

jellypi3 · 30/01/2015 22:42

Haah I agree honey we are due around the same time so it's gonna go without us!

lildottie · 30/01/2015 22:53

yeah don't let it end before I get mine!

Poochieblue · 30/01/2015 22:59

oh Lordy no!!!! this is your fred lil we will have to control ourselves till that BFP!!!!

honeysucklejasmine · 31/01/2015 00:06

Maybe if we get near the end we can start a new one and leave space for us to return to celebrate the BFPs?

sorry not sorry OCD people

RhiannonElward · 31/01/2015 02:31

Oh dear God, I had so much catching up to do! Wow for the bfps, thanks for the hooyah/solidarity and sense too folks, it was much needed.

Non I will gladly pass you the ninja shagging baton, somebody needs to get the show on the road here and right now it certainly isn't me. I've had ill kids, houseguests, dp working at 5am so going to bed at bloody 9pm, how am I supposed to do my magic (and yes, viroids, it is magic) when I am being foiled at every turn? You can't get the shitting circumstances these days, seriously Hmm

australopithecus · 31/01/2015 04:27

What does a fake testicle look like? An why would you bother?

eumice542 · 31/01/2015 06:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DulcetMoans · 31/01/2015 07:36

Reported previous post.

CountryGal4 · 31/01/2015 07:45

Who's awake?!?. Did my fmu and am now convinced im insane as I don't think there's anything there at all now. first one after a minute second one completely dry

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!
Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!
jellypi3 · 31/01/2015 07:54

Country I can see something on that second one...I'm sure of it!!!

Also reported the spam post.

And.......

MY TEMP ROSE!!!!

Of course it might not stay up but it's gone higher today thanks any other day this month! Gx it stays high, to confirm I iced!

jellypi3 · 31/01/2015 07:55

Also I love your pj's country

CountryGal4 · 31/01/2015 07:58

jelly I thought I'd flash them again to remind you all just how cool I am am

You girls me you don't think priest Joshua can help usWink

CountryGal4 · 31/01/2015 07:58

Oops still half asleep :s

DulcetMoans · 31/01/2015 07:59

Yay for icing jelly. One more shag for good luck?

Can't see the photo country, sorry! I am on the web version but it won't show. You could try that canyouseealine.com or similar to invert and greyscale it?

DulcetMoans · 31/01/2015 08:00

Oh no I see! Just needed a minute. I agree, I can see something where I would expect to see a line in the second pic. Can you see it country?

Jcandy · 31/01/2015 08:01

I can see something in the second pic, there's definitely something there. How late are you now country?

Woop for temp rise jelly!! Grin keep shagging for now though if you can!

CountryGal4 · 31/01/2015 08:03

jelly as your temp is up I suggest for the rest of the day you wander round naked from th waist down

8 MF days jc

jellypi3 · 31/01/2015 08:04

Oh I'm going to carry on shagging, our EOD rules last until the witch arrives! Don't you viroids worry!! ;)

jellypi3 · 31/01/2015 08:08

Country can you go get a FRER at all for tomorrow?

honeysucklejasmine · 31/01/2015 08:13

What did the spam say? Did we have troll?!

CountryGal4 · 31/01/2015 08:14

Yeah we have to go to the supermarket anyway so can give one of those a whirl. Just feeling a bit insane about it all. The cat nicked the stick. I think it was a sign to
put the sticks down! Am going to make icecream now. It's raining out. Do you believe I'm mad now???

jellypi3 · 31/01/2015 08:17

Nah honey we had someone trying to sell Dr Robin's amazing ability to get you upduffed!

Yay for FRER pissing!!