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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!

999 replies

ChatEnOeuf · 26/01/2015 17:40

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>Something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 37 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2282306-The-37th-Just-Shaggers-are-on-their-way-Watch-out-for-accidental-erections-and-bruising-injections-polish-your-perfect-ovaries-were-climbing-a-mountain-and-digging-deeply-to-get-our-BFPs?msgid=52150588#52150588" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2284897-20th-JSing-GRADS-thread-our-chats-still-filthy-just-not-in-front-of-the-baby" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
honeysucklejasmine · 31/01/2015 08:27

There's an amazing way of getting pregnant? More so than, i dunno, having sex?!

Amazing.

ChatEnOeuf · 31/01/2015 08:53

Eek! Such an exciting morning viroids! Country, if you have the time and can be arsed, I posted my BFP in early Oct here, CD36 and it's a real squinter - sometimes you spit out an egg a bit late (I'm hoping this means I get a baby who sleeps) Grin

Congrats all, now long posts but no idle chatter (and no spam!) so we keep going until Lil's HCG is back up. I want to do her BFP Fred!!

OP posts:
LaLa5 · 31/01/2015 08:59

Yes to frer country! Ics are so faint in the first instance even with bfp so this way we'll know for sure! I think I see something...

jellypi3 · 31/01/2015 09:37

Wow this has been amazing. Is that 3 BFP's this Fred?

And I like idle chatter haha

CountryGal4 · 31/01/2015 09:45

chat just had a look. You still living in Belgium? Spent a lot of my youth pith there as I'm a quarter Belgian Smile

lildottie · 31/01/2015 13:42

dh won't let me do anything. I've spent the morning knitting in bed and now he's making me a sausage sarnie. god I hope I get pg, I could get used to this!

gaggiagirl · 31/01/2015 13:49

Lucky you lil I'm cracking on as normal since dp decided I'm not pregnant. He says "the test says your not pregnant". I feel like I'm going mad I've pointed out the lines on 3 tests but he still says to wait and see. Twat.

lildottie · 31/01/2015 13:58

ga do you think maybe he's being cautious because of the mc, or is he genuinely just being a twat? in which case lock him out with cunthawk

Poochieblue · 31/01/2015 13:59

omg ga 1st he almost wastes the egg and no doesn't believe the evidence!! defo LTB! soooooo has he said what it will take in order for him to believe it?
go lil!! you've got a good'n there!!! here's to the next 9months of being waited on! :-)

Indigoblue2 · 31/01/2015 14:09

LTB ga, the guy is clearly a moron Shock

honeysucklejasmine · 31/01/2015 14:59

Send him on here Ga, we'll sort him. Angry

gaggiagirl · 31/01/2015 15:39

He's all of the above! Also lil he may be being cautious.
I'll just be pregnant on my own til he decides to join in.
I haven't seen him since last night so I'm not sure if he's had a change of heart but I reckon ill piss in his dinner tonight if he hasn't.

ChatEnOeuf · 31/01/2015 16:11

Excellent ideas Ga.

Yes, Country, still here in the land of frites - for at least another 18m all going well. Which quarter?

OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 31/01/2015 16:20

Ga, you made me lol!

Hobbit19 · 31/01/2015 17:31

This will be my last post for a while as I would love Lil to get her BFP on this lucky Fred (I was a rational scientist until I joined the world of mn!) Also I will have nothing exciting to report as AF/BFP is not due for another 4 weeks (stupid long cycle) but I will be watching and thinking of you all. Ga and Country keep POASing. Keep shagging Viroids!

CountryGal4 · 31/01/2015 18:14

chat old school Flemish in old part of Antwerp

CountryGal4 · 31/01/2015 18:17

ga ltb your upduffed !!

MyBlackCat · 31/01/2015 18:25

Evening viroids - may I join in please?

I've been a very long time stalker lurker on this thread so I feel like I know you all already. I certainly don't qualify as a top JSer, I don't shag that much and I also use the worst form of contraband but I hope I can stay. Your posts have me lol-ing most days and this Fred seems a fun place to be. Here are my stats:

MyBlackCat
TTC #1 since Dec 2013 - mc June 2014
So many cycles I've lost count
DC none but an amazing furbaby aged 4

contraband says I am currently fertile so I will be jumping DH later, if he returns from visiting the in laws. He's avoiding me as I have the lurgy and he doesn't want to get it, so it may take some effort. Wish me luck!

Jcandy · 31/01/2015 18:30

Welcome cat!! Sounds like you've had a tough journey so far! Have you been for any tests yet? Good luck with your dh later, the viroids on here have lots of ideas for how to get your man feel up for it. Doggy style has been recommended as a good compromise when one has the lurgy Grin

RhiannonElward · 31/01/2015 18:33

Guys I tested and saw a line, the most faint line in the history of lines. I am half convinced I am bananas, called dp to have a look and he saw it too, after much squinting and light adjustment. This is torture, I am going to be devastated if it turns out to be nothing. Is there a Fred for people broken by the process and in need of wine? I might have a look tomorrow.

MyBlackCat · 31/01/2015 18:36

Thanks jcandy haven't had tests - cycles been all over place since mc hence justification for contraband only settled down in last 3 or 4 and I think timing has been our issue.

Will try and temp DH with so Cape action doggy style later..

australopithecus · 31/01/2015 18:40

Yo myblack! I only joined previous Fred, and it looks to me as if contraband is pretty much standard secret practice around here. Grin You might have to up the shagging, but furbabies take a lot of time too and that is quite important in the long run.
Welcome!

MyBlackCat · 31/01/2015 18:53

Hi austra I intend to up the shagging! after last months failure DH promised total commitment this month, I'm aiming for tonight, tomorrow, day off Monday as I'm on an overnight stay at work then every day for as long as possible.

australopithecus · 31/01/2015 19:01

Hurray! Grin

LaLa5 · 31/01/2015 19:06

Hey cat! So sorry to hear about your mc, it sounds like you've been through it a bit :( You're in the right place as these viroids will give you lots of support, hooyahing and POAS pom pom waving when the time comes!

Rhi post a pic, post a pic!!!