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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!

999 replies

ChatEnOeuf · 26/01/2015 17:40

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>Something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 37 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2282306-The-37th-Just-Shaggers-are-on-their-way-Watch-out-for-accidental-erections-and-bruising-injections-polish-your-perfect-ovaries-were-climbing-a-mountain-and-digging-deeply-to-get-our-BFPs?msgid=52150588#52150588" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2284897-20th-JSing-GRADS-thread-our-chats-still-filthy-just-not-in-front-of-the-baby" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
Jcandy · 30/01/2015 13:20

rhi and daisy I know exactly what you mean! I'm due on the 4th and I'm fed up of waiting now. I haven't yet done any silly lemon poasing yet but I could see that coming over the weekend. I just really want to know so I can find out if I'm going to have my wisdom teeth out on Wednesday or not........

Stoatystoat · 30/01/2015 13:54

Thursday txipi...supposing they can see anything!

I've also been working at home a lot due to the weather. Hope your ankle gets better soon.

txipi · 30/01/2015 14:25

Thanks Stoat good luck with the scan, just 6 days left for you! gx

lildottie · 30/01/2015 15:22

tx i love wfh.
And I have visions of you trying to dtd in traction!

LaLa5 · 30/01/2015 16:27

Rachel that sounds promising Smile

Gaggia where are you with the frer? I'm impatient! Gx xx

Toast85 · 30/01/2015 17:09

jcandy, rhi and daisy I'm in the same boat. AF due Sunday, I'm at my parents' house and don't want to test there so will wait til Monday at least. or Sunday evening then deserve a hooya for not waiting until FMU I'm scared to POAS tbh!

Jcandy · 30/01/2015 17:50

If you are scared about seeing a bfn toast then I would wait till AF is late. Sometimes I'm ok with it other times not so good. Haven't shed any tears over one yet but hey this could be the month for that!

I'd wait till Monday and if when AF hasn't arrived then test. GX!

CountryGal4 · 30/01/2015 17:56

Some one hooyah me: have been staring at this morns bfn picture convinced there was the faintest of line Confused

lildottie · 30/01/2015 18:05

country post it on www.canyouseealine.com and we can all invert and assess!

I can't believe its only day 2 of 14. how am I going to get to February let alone 11th

jellypi3 · 30/01/2015 18:19

With laughter and fun lil :)

Post a pic on here country

g where are you???

CountryGal4 · 30/01/2015 18:20

www.canyouseealine.com/testpic/1291/

australopithecus · 30/01/2015 18:23

I can't believe there is a website like that! How hilarious! Grin

lildottie · 30/01/2015 18:27

what's happened to the invert? Angry

Poochieblue · 30/01/2015 18:39

I thought that aus the 1st time I saw it, I can get lost in there for hours though looking at other people piss sticks!! crazy!!

DH has just had a call from his bro. sil is pg, she lost one last year that was ectopic and despite having gone through it myself was disturbingly unsympathetic. probably since they chose to announce it via the kids at our wedding when she was 6weeks!! was not impressed!
Bil says she's had a scan and there's no detectable heartbeat as its too early but what is there is in the right place and there's 2!! so now I know I should be chuffed that they've got they're getting their happy ending but I feel angry and jealous and tearful!!
probably doesn't help that mil told us to get on with it quickly so as to beat them to it (she doesn't like sil!) and that DH's sis had told us that whoever had one 1st could have her baby stuff :-/ aaarrrggghhhhhh I feel sooooo guilty for feeling like this but I want to smash something!!!!!! :-(

mountaingirl01 · 30/01/2015 19:00

Poochie Flowers it is so tough. When my sister got pregnant (kitten) I was trying to be supportive as she was terrified but I actually just had a huge un dignified strop. It feels shit right now but it will get better and you will get your bfp! If she's having twins she will need double baby stuff anyway so you may still get your dhs' s stuff :)

lildottie · 30/01/2015 19:02

pooch repeat after me "her being pg doesn't affect my ability to get pg"
it sucks I know. my dB and sil have 2. 1st we weren't ready to start ttc so I was mega pissed off, 2nd we were just starting to see gp about tests and she announced at Xmas party at 4 weeks and AF arrived the next day. dh took it harder than me and I have to keep reminding him it may be unfair (she has lupus, he has one testicle) but it doesn't change my story.

and anyway, now you get to buy new baby stuff!

australopithecus · 30/01/2015 19:08

poochie Flowers

LaLa5 · 30/01/2015 19:24

Country can you post a clearer one? It's fuzzy. I think I see something but I can be sure coz of fuzziness...

LaLa5 · 30/01/2015 19:25

Pooch that's a toughie :( it's always hard. My BFF got pregnant in match after 1 month trying with her 2nd when we'd been ttc since the July before. It was shit but I was pleased for her. Always bittersweet :( Flowers

LaLa5 · 30/01/2015 19:26

*march

Noniks3 · 30/01/2015 19:28

Evening all, been but busy with holiday coming up - and Fred goes turbo!!

Lil?! Eek! Lordy this is tense! Keeping busy is your only hope, we fly on 10th I really don't want to miss your BFP!

Bat AND Gag?! Congrats, so pleased for you both & GX too x Hope you're ok G?

Rhi I'm taking the shagging ninja crown forward I imagine the handover with an awesome penis shaped baton as AF should finally piss of for tomorrow so I can limber up for icing next weekend Grin

Pooch, sorry its is such a smack in the chops. Hope you're ok & listen to guru Lil & keep your chin up.

Jelly it's normal to get a bit down about it I think, you can't help it. Was pretty gutted this month too. Trying to look at it positively as can fully enjoy our belated honeymoon & I would've missed one of my best friends wedding. Hoping being away will make this TWOT a breeze - planning only packing fanjo plugs & no tests LOS & wrong side equator surely means I'll be ok?!

Hope you're ok Honey

And squishes to you all x

gaggiagirl · 30/01/2015 19:29

Why is there no invert on countrys pic? Grrrrr!
I'll post a pic of my frer in a mo. DP says its bfn. Twat.

CountryGal4 · 30/01/2015 19:31

Best I can do. They're all either a tad fuzzy or totally whited out

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!
Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!
Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!
CountryGal4 · 30/01/2015 19:32

What's invert?? Also who is jealous of the mr potato head jammies???

gaggiagirl · 30/01/2015 19:32

Here it be.

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!
Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!