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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!

999 replies

ChatEnOeuf · 26/01/2015 17:40

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>Something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 37 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2282306-The-37th-Just-Shaggers-are-on-their-way-Watch-out-for-accidental-erections-and-bruising-injections-polish-your-perfect-ovaries-were-climbing-a-mountain-and-digging-deeply-to-get-our-BFPs?msgid=52150588#52150588" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2284897-20th-JSing-GRADS-thread-our-chats-still-filthy-just-not-in-front-of-the-baby" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
DulcetMoans · 30/01/2015 07:38

There's something in the water in here or a special chair? chat must be lucky for you lot.

Get to the shops gaggia! That was defo a line!

Shaggathon for you jelly too!

Any cat updates rachel? Are they besties yet?!

mountaingirl01 · 30/01/2015 07:38

Coming to ypu from up a mountain (of course) tp say gaggia buy a mf frer!!

Lil I actually wept a little over your embryos, isn't science amazing

LaLa5 · 30/01/2015 07:41

Country it might be your hcg isn't high enough yet, I'm keeping gx for you!

Gaggia that was deffo a line

KatoPotato · 30/01/2015 08:00

lil I love your pics! Absolutely bloody fascinating, I personally feel very honoured to be part of your journey! daaaaw!

Ga where are you? I love this lucky shaggity just shagging fred, and think Grads should do the honours from now on!

doffs caps to all the new faces

jellypi3 · 30/01/2015 08:13

I agree kato grads should do Fred's from now on!

I'm really confused why the cbfm won't give me a peak but OPK's will give me a strong positive! Random!

LaLa5 · 30/01/2015 08:20

Because your cbfm is learning your cycle and giving you highs in fertile period leading up to a peak and opks are giving you a positive on any fertile days so they are both saying the same thing :)

gaggiagirl · 30/01/2015 08:28

I will buy a frer today yes. I looked at the test again and there was the faintest line so maybe not a bfn?.
More importantly, how are your embryos lil?

jellypi3 · 30/01/2015 08:33

have you posted your "bfn" on that invert website g? (or post it on here).

Thanks la, so a positive OPK isn't the same as a Peak on CBFM? It's the same as a high? Mega confusion haha

lildottie · 30/01/2015 08:43

jelly you may get another pos opk today and ice tomorrow therefore get peak tomorrow. I've has 2 pos opks some cycles.

ga teat with a frer on sunday. keeping everything crossed for you.

as for the lucky thread - now you see why I wanted a grad to do it!

Aus lmao. but I do hope they get my nose. the nose from my mums side does seem quite prominent in a lot of babies in the family and its a cute nose.Grin

feel calm and positive today. got quite a bit of work to catch up on so that should keep me busy! dh says embies are surely settled in now!

lildottie · 30/01/2015 08:53

hcg trigger is almost out of my system. just got a squinter squintier than ga's.

gaggiagirl · 30/01/2015 09:00

Ooh lil I'm so excited for your real bfp! X

ChatEnOeuf · 30/01/2015 09:21

Ahhhh! Lil I just shed a little tear at your beautiful embryos. Massive GX for them.

Ga get thee a FRER! That was not a squinter, even I could see it without my specs on! CL can hurt like buggery when they grow...

OP posts:
jellypi3 · 30/01/2015 09:22

how long until you can test for real lil?

thanks for the tip, i'll POAOPK again tonight to see if it's still pos :)

honeysucklejasmine · 30/01/2015 09:22

Yay! Go Embies, go!

Lil, your term "embies" autocorrects to babies on my phone. Grin

Fleurchamp · 30/01/2015 09:28

Argh! So exciting!! xx

lildottie · 30/01/2015 09:35

honey that must be a sign right?!

chat don't keep it secret, shout it from the rooftops like "I'm the bfp Fred starter" to the sounds of prodigy!

jelly not until 11th Feb. 12 days and counting. or at least that's when I can believe the result. I'm hoping I'll get a squinter building by next weekend. implantation should be Tuesday/Wednesday.

I'm sorry my embies are making you all well up no I'm not Grin

jellypi3 · 30/01/2015 09:44

ahh now i've got firestarter in my head Grin

jellypi3 · 30/01/2015 10:06

oh the age old problem of semen or CM...

I think I have got EWCM, did the tissue test (was still stretchy on the tissue) and the rubbing fingers test (it didn't dry up) so signs look good.

My fanjo is aching so much though! We have shagged 3 nights in a row now, and done at least EOD this cycle!

rachelrawrrr · 30/01/2015 10:21

dulcet they're still not friends, they're not as bad with each other and keep taking it in turn to be mean to each other Envy but they're getting there! she's a lot more relaxed with us now Smile

Purplecircle · 30/01/2015 10:28

Ahhh Gaggia congrats Smile all these BFPs it's fab

Starting a fred was lucky for me

RhiannonElward · 30/01/2015 12:06

I have to say, the twotting is considerably less fun than the shagging. I am coming to the end of my twot now, af due on 4th, and this has been completely torturous. I miss the stealth cupboard shagging and the beaver shaking, I want to be a fanjo ninja again! Instead I am a neurotic, crampy headachy ridiculous poasser reading too much into everything. I say we put together a Hooyah SWAT team, designed to hunt down and prevent grown and reasonable women becoming ridiculous mad arsefaces. If we could put the team together in time to sort me out this month it would be very handy. Thanks.

australopithecus · 30/01/2015 12:13

Shag shag shag.
Nothing new to report.
Oh and some more shagging.
And then some.
Feck.

daisyspice · 30/01/2015 12:22

I agree Rhiannon mines not over until the 9th and my back feels like it's breaking Hmm also feeling a bit down in the dumps....need a shake or a slap probably both!

Congratulations gaggia Smile so many BFP's already!!!

Rachel glad ur kitten settling in, it's so stressful at the start but will be soon cuddled up together and you'll wonder what all the stress was about

Stoatystoat · 30/01/2015 12:29

Oh tentative congrats gaggia, I hope you are.

I'm flitting between here and the grads thread as this spotting has me convinced there will be nothing when I go for my scan. It's def worse than the TWOT.

txipi · 30/01/2015 13:11

Rhi and Daisy big hooya for you both!

Stoat I hope that everything goes ok. When do you have to go for the scan?

I've been working from home since I broke my ankle and I almost haven't left the house ever since. Lots of people dream with working from home, I actually hate it, it's so boring being on your own all day!

I've managed to shag several times but the freaking ankle doesn't give me many options, time to start getting creative, me thinks! Wink