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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Jazz up your ROC, Invoke a Wankban, Shake your Beaver and Find Cupboard Love with the Just Shagging Viroids! Don't forget to Cup and Run...it's JS 38!

999 replies

ChatEnOeuf · 26/01/2015 17:40

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>Something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A <strong>Lemon</strong> = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 37 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2282306-The-37th-Just-Shaggers-are-on-their-way-Watch-out-for-accidental-erections-and-bruising-injections-polish-your-perfect-ovaries-were-climbing-a-mountain-and-digging-deeply-to-get-our-BFPs?msgid=52150588#52150588" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2284897-20th-JSing-GRADS-thread-our-chats-still-filthy-just-not-in-front-of-the-baby" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.
OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
rachelrawrrr · 29/01/2015 22:50

I've got everything crossed for you lil Grin

and chebs are boobieeeees Wink

I'm so frustrated, I'm meant to have a high chance of getting upduffed from about the 5th February, but on the 9th I'm getting my tonsils out Sad looks like next month isn't gonna be my lucky month Sad

rachelrawrrr · 29/01/2015 22:57

as for these pics, I'm going to have to come on the laptop so I can see them!!! Grin

lildottie · 29/01/2015 23:08

each just shag without the tonsil tennis? Grin

lildottie · 29/01/2015 23:08
  • rach not each, bloody auto correct
rachelrawrrr · 29/01/2015 23:17

I'm just worried about oving the day I go in to surgery Sad I really can't see it happening this month Envy bloody tonsils!!!! I'm actually in two minds whether to cancel it or not... I'm terrified Sad

Poochieblue · 29/01/2015 23:26

yes perhaps best you didn't LTB after all ga lol
are you going to see what beautiful lines the unicorn brings in the morning?! we will require more pics obviously!!

am now not convinced that the start of my last AF was actually the start. I have iced cd 16/17 since I've been checking but not today :-/ AF started with 1 day of spotting, then a day of very light flow, then back to spotting before bam with a vengeance! so am wondering if cd3 is actually cd1 and today is only cd15. which means AF will now be due feb 13th! in which case it's a good job we don't celebrate Valentine's in this house lol!!
ah well just dtd and DH already snoring in my ear after 3 days off and will just have to keep shagging :-)

lildottie · 29/01/2015 23:27

rach sperm live 5-7 days so just drown the egg by filling up before hand

Poochieblue · 29/01/2015 23:29

rach don't put it off, just make sure you shag lots before hand incl the day before and as soon as you feel up to it when you get home. chances are if you cancel the same could happen again and you obvs need them out. you don't want to be suffering while you're upduffed either xx

rachelrawrrr · 29/01/2015 23:35

so you don't think having an operation will effect my chances of getting pregnant?

I'm terrified if I get the anesthetic that I won't wake up Sad

Ainat266 · 29/01/2015 23:46

Oh my goodness!!! I have had a few extremely busy/stressful days at work which is why I haven't been online... and look at what I come back to!

I am genuinely so fucking excited right now!

lil those pics are awesome. I have not just my gingers, but everything crossed for you!!! I actually teared up a little reading your posts.

bat and gaggia it would seem congrats are in order for both of you too! Woop woop!

And jelly of course for the positive opk!

What a lucky Fred this is turning out to be!!!

Poochieblue · 29/01/2015 23:49

am sure that's a fear that many people have. I've only ever had one op and it was an emergency and I was in that much pain I didn't have the time or the energy to think or dwell on it but have always thought I'd be really nervous for a routine one!! each anesthetist does 100's of ops every year, they know so well what they are doing!! you will be fine and no I honestly don't think it will affect you ttc, if it's on or around ice day chances are the swimmers would still making their way there.
it may even be the case that because ur obviously stressed about it that you don't ice till afterwards? stress can delay it. I'm not sure if I'm helping or not :-/ I hope so though xx

rachelrawrrr · 29/01/2015 23:59

I know I'm not allergic to the anesthetic, because I had an emergency one when I broke my arm (I was only 4 though), I'm just terrified because I'm overweight and they said it can cause problems :/ but the logical part of my brain is saying "shut up, there are much bigger women who go in for major surgery such as a gastric band, and they're fine!"
I'm just terrified of leaving OH, I love him so bloody much
sorry for bringing the mood down guys Sad

honeysucklejasmine · 29/01/2015 23:59

Fuck a duck. Go away for one day, and Lil's had twins implanted and Ga is upduffed? I must be holding you guys back! Grin jeeeeeeeez!

honeysucklejasmine · 30/01/2015 00:01

Rachel hooyah! I have had GA twice and both times i was just shy of the allowable weight limit. Chillax.

rachelrawrrr · 30/01/2015 00:25

I know I'm being sooooooooo silly :')
it's just one of those things I guess! at least I can go in and speak to the anesthesist and if I'm still too scared, I can back out

LaLa5 · 30/01/2015 05:16

Is it true? Is our gaggia up le duff??? Hooraaaaay missus cuntyhawk I'm delighted!!!!

Yes to getting checked out but you're too early for ectopic so I think it's more likely little embryo settling/vigorous sex hangover.

Chebs. Such an undervalued word. Along with jobby

Jcandy · 30/01/2015 06:35

Congratulations ga!! Where's the unicorn pics Grin

Good news on the opk jelly get shagging!!

lil beautiful pictures Smile

gaggiagirl · 30/01/2015 06:49

I've just done another test with fmu. BFN. So that's weird isn't it? Ah well.

gaggiagirl · 30/01/2015 06:50

I probably just had a broken test last night. Damn you internet cheapies!

jellypi3 · 30/01/2015 06:52

Holy shitter ga I knew it!!! You are uppeth the duppeth! I agree with lil, good you didn't LTB!! Huge congrats (and yeah, FMU pics please).

Glad to hear from honey and ain!! Hope you're ok!

Annoyingly my CBAFM disagreed with the OPK last night and still gave me a high, but fuck it, I've never seen a positive OPK so I assume something is happening. Just waiting for a temp spike (it went up this morning but not by loads).
Well we managed a shag last night, but I think I've done some serious damage to my groin. I stretched it at football last weekend but last night I felt almost a tearing feeling and this morning I can barely move my leg. No shagging tonight I think haha.

How you feeling this mornin lil

jellypi3 · 30/01/2015 06:54

Oh g cross post. That looked positive to me last night. Remember a false positive is so rare, whereas a fake negative is much more common.

You said it yourself, your AF is clockwork, so SOMETHING is happening. Gx.

australopithecus · 30/01/2015 06:54

Oh lil!!!! They have your nose!!!!! Grin
la I am really very keen to hear your spotty idiot virginity story, please?

australopithecus · 30/01/2015 06:56

ga I'd poafms (pee on a few more sticks) just to make sure your covered your bases. Let us know!

LaLa5 · 30/01/2015 07:10

Gaggia go get a frer gx xx

CountryGal4 · 30/01/2015 07:36

Sounds promising ga

Soo another bfn this morning with the ics. Af has still fucked off and am now a whole 7 days late. Last three af have been consistent with a 28 day cycle. Nips feel like they're gonna fall off. What the crap is going on?!?