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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

The 37th Just Shaggers are on their way! Watch out for accidental erections and bruising injections, polish your perfect ovaries, we're climbing a mountain and digging deeply to get our BFPs!

999 replies

honeysucklejasmine · 14/01/2015 16:46

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 36 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2263704-O-Come-all-ye-Viroids-joyful-and-triumphant-Deck-the-halls-with-Contraband-All-I-want-for-Christmas-is-a-BFP-Just-Shag-all-the-way-no36" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2272951-The-JS-Grads-turn-19-Were-cooking-and-popping-out-our-JSing-babies-with-style-co-ordinated-changing-bags-and-a-healthy-dose-of-humour" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome
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7
jellypi3 · 26/01/2015 09:29

I agree!

rachelrawrrr · 26/01/2015 09:55

do any of you get pulling feelings where your ovaries are when you're on your period? it's a very strange feeling Confused resisting the urge to use an opk.. slap my hands, keep me away from them!

Poochieblue · 26/01/2015 10:04

i 3rd the lil call!!

did you poas for any specific reason or just out of curiosity? not long till it's a real BFP though :-D x

jellypi3 · 26/01/2015 10:44

I wouldn't use an OPK whilst AF is here Rachel. It's very unlikely you would ovulate whilst on your period. I do know what you mean though, it feels very odd at times.

I have no realy icing symptoms at the moment, im aching all over from football so can't tell if twinges in my abdomen are my ovaries or my muscles lol.

australopithecus · 26/01/2015 10:50

jelly it's a condition called "football ovary syndrome". The only known cure is shagging. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

kezaroo · 26/01/2015 11:08

Ok help required...

3 day medium period (not heavy). Started Friday about 10am. It was enough to use pads for but didn't seem like my other periods. Today I'm not bleeding at all not even a hint of it and my boobs are veiny (like dark blue lines on the areole) which I didn't notice before my period (when it normally occurs). Had itchy boob the other day (like annoying itch) which I've never had before. My moods are up and down, one minute I am foul the next I am fine. I didn't get period pains either... Not like I would normally get. It was just a slight discomfort.

Could it have been implantation?! Am I clutching at straws here?! How long should I wait before I test?

Help Confused

Watch the witch turn up again this afternoon...

kezaroo · 26/01/2015 11:09

Oh and I am eating like a pig. Or at least I want to (trying to diet) xx

kezaroo · 26/01/2015 11:12

And I am emotional. Watched a film last night and a kid was crying and I wanted to cry (but I stopped myself cuz I'm a hard nut).

jellypi3 · 26/01/2015 11:14

Kez you know the rules!!! When is AF due? (Memory like a sieve here)

kezaroo · 26/01/2015 11:16

It was due the day I came on... CD 25 but I don't know when I ovulated and to be honest we haven't given it our all this month due to other things on our mind

jellypi3 · 26/01/2015 11:31

Well then I'm going to say test, but more for peace of mind than anything else.

I had a very random, mid-cycle bleed in December at CD17, it lasted two days and was super, super light. But it turned out to be AF, just a very light one. I'd test if I were you, just to have that peace of mind that it's either a BFP or not. If not then you can focus on shagging this cycle.

kezaroo · 26/01/2015 11:38

Think I might do but not tell DH.

Might see how I feel over next few days first

Poochieblue · 26/01/2015 11:41

i agree with jelly i think if it was ib then the rule is about 3 days after you would get a bfp (i may be wrong) so you would get one today if that's what it was. If it's BFN then you can at least draw a line under last cycle and put it down to the fucked up work of AF and friends experience. I have has some very weird and random AFs since being off BCP and until you POAS you won't settle, if you're anything like me anyway!

Let us know how you get on

kezaroo · 26/01/2015 11:48

Just been to the loo and it was light pink when wiped but not like period.

I hate this!!!

jellypi3 · 26/01/2015 11:56

If you can get your hands on a FRER then POAS to settle yoru mind Kez. All of us have suffered abnormal AF's due to birth control as pooch says, so don't stress out over it. The not knowing is the worst to be honest.

Muddytoes1 · 26/01/2015 12:58

Thanks for all the running advice everyone - will see how I feel on the day then might give it a try. I'm sure it's safe to run its just if I don't get a bfp that month I think I'll be wondering if it was because of the run. It shouldn't be too bad but a tough one as its 1500ft of ascent and you have to finish within 3 hours. Should be ok - thanks for your thoughts anyway Smile

Lil pleased to hear octoplets aren't on the cards! Please do us a lovely shiny and v lucky new Fred.

lildottie · 26/01/2015 14:05

yes jelly first ever bfp. and it's not even real! I did it because I knew trigger shot would give a bfp. I am planning to test every day from transfer to watch the trigger go out of my system, and know if ivf has worked at earliest opportunity!

I'm a bit nervous about starting next Fred after a few Fred starters had MCs. I know that sounds sooo stupid. maybe I should just do it. I have about 50 posts to decide so slow down

kez I'd test tomorrow fmu to be sure on an ic or frer. would be too early for anything else to work

Poochieblue · 26/01/2015 14:43

i hardly dare post now as i don't want to rush your decision lil but if you don't want to do it am sure someone else will step up and i'm positive we will all understand x

australopithecus · 26/01/2015 14:57

Aw lil not to worry! I'll do it if you want? I've never started one so don't know the responsibilities, so someone will have to enlighten me if it is just a matter of starting, or more? I'm sure it will be fine, lil but by golly one should be able to have as much cheese and gin en route as required!

lildottie · 26/01/2015 15:03

I was going to nominate tink but she's on holiday!

I'd quite like one of the grads to do it actually, maybe la or minion if you girls are reading? Feels fitting for one of the "old timers" to do it as i've been here so long iyswim!

Noniks3 · 26/01/2015 15:11

Afternoon all

Shut the front door Town - congrats! Grin So glad one of us got the elusive BFP from the weekend! I'm hoping the witch won't be able to find me on holiday?! wishful thinking

I went into cleaning/busy person overdrive to distract from another twatty disappointment. Even Gaggia would be proud of my spangly kitchen...

Lil, getting so close! now go drink some water! Agreed there seemed to be a jinx for a while, so completely understand your feelings x

australopithecus · 26/01/2015 15:13

A graduation present! Excellent idea. Grad sex, but with chocolate! Grin

lildottie · 26/01/2015 15:13

sorry aus didn't see your post! Hope I didn't offend you!

noniks i'm struggling with the water if im honest - i already have pg bladder because my ovaries are pushing on everything!!

Going to struggle tomorrow morning when i'm nil by mouth. Not looking forward to that. i love breakfast!

australopithecus · 26/01/2015 15:14

noni since my kitchen is a mess I'll come round yours for dinner, k?

australopithecus · 26/01/2015 15:18

Not at all, lil
nil by mouth is not only an excellent username, it is also a better way to get upduffed than some by mouth.
(Apologises for being so naughty, but couldn't resist)

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