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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

The 37th Just Shaggers are on their way! Watch out for accidental erections and bruising injections, polish your perfect ovaries, we're climbing a mountain and digging deeply to get our BFPs!

999 replies

honeysucklejasmine · 14/01/2015 16:46

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 36 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2263704-O-Come-all-ye-Viroids-joyful-and-triumphant-Deck-the-halls-with-Contraband-All-I-want-for-Christmas-is-a-BFP-Just-Shag-all-the-way-no36" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2272951-The-JS-Grads-turn-19-Were-cooking-and-popping-out-our-JSing-babies-with-style-co-ordinated-changing-bags-and-a-healthy-dose-of-humour" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome
OP posts:
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7
australopithecus · 23/01/2015 09:35
jellypi3 · 23/01/2015 09:36

I'll be jumping DP tonight for certain, can't break EOD shagging.

TMI ALERT: I had weird, sort of creamy, very stretchy CM this morning. Not quite egg white but weird as anything lol!

jellypi3 · 23/01/2015 09:36

Noniks gx for you. When is the witch due?

Noniks3 · 23/01/2015 09:49

hope you heard the tumultuous round of applause as you bowed aus

She was due yesterday Jelly...I've not been late with AF yet...Hmm

jellypi3 · 23/01/2015 09:54

Oo gx! (I know i've been the voice of reason but I think you should POAS, you are past the AF due deadline for me!!!). Grin

RhiannonElward · 23/01/2015 10:51

Ooh Noniks that does sound exciting. Can't wait to check in tomorrow for the result. Fx for a bfp for you Smile

Congratulations on your JSing this week everybody (or your fish and chips) it's very hard to keep it up once icing is all done and dusted. I'm out of the fertile window now, so last weeks adventures are definitely behind us. Dtd on Weds but instead of a costume and candles, we left the telly on and we were watching that antiques expert talking about flax milling. Dp proceeded to use milling terms throughout and now flax really does it for me. Ah well. Tonight might happen simply because I am determined not to treat dp as a jizz dispenser, which means I have to keep it up.

australopithecus · 23/01/2015 11:03

I did noni! (Wouldn't be the first time I've been applauded post-sex.) Grin

Poochieblue · 23/01/2015 11:53

sending love and good vibes to you and your brother honey sorry to hear he's still poorly

was loving jellys impression of lil in fact i had to read the post again to see who wrote it hehe!! you are right of course jelly we will very soon need a replacement for her as she graduates and leaves us! i always get sad at the thought of any viroid leaving - only for selfish reasons, i.e cos i miss them not because i begrudge the BFPs in anyway (i do love a good viroid BFP) but in lils case i can't wait for her to leave! in the nicest possible way of course!!

Non you definitely qualify for being within the POAS rule and should get pissing - not on a dodgy digi though, they're pants!! you need a FRER/superdrug even an IC would be better than a digi at this point!

Rhi i am disturbed re the turn on effects of flax lol! each to their own of course hehe!!! DH will not dtd with the TV on as i get distracted very easily and i think he takes it personally! oooopppssss

Wasn't on at all yesterday, but i would like to report that we dtd last night and the night before, so there are some good JSers still around lol!! not even due to ice till next week but i like to put a good show in this week so like Rhi says he doesn't feel i only want him for his jizz and the week before AF i Never want it so i have to making up to do

jelly sounds like you're body is trying to do something, what CD are you now? i think we've fallen out of sync :-/ either way as you say it's shag night tonight so no point me telling you to SHAG lol!

Thanks for the ideas about making a little money on the side. I have hobbies but am not good at them, only done for my own amusement, there seems to be a few possible part time jobs to apply for so shall be doing that tonight - wish me luck! :-D

Ainat266 · 23/01/2015 11:59

I am having a nightmare day at work today. thankfully it is not me having an observation today one. I'd be having a breakdown if it was. I think it may be just that has a lesson obs?

I do have a few big days coming up at work though... 2 next week, and 2 the week after. so you can save your good lucks for me until then.. :-)

in the meantime I need sugar and chocolate and maybe a vodka or three..

jellypi3 · 23/01/2015 12:01

CD10/11 so could be getting close to icing :) I hope I do this month, I'm having a down day today and am convinced i'm barren and will never get upduffed :(

Poochieblue · 23/01/2015 12:21

i have positive feelings about you icing this month. I really think your body has just been settling down after depo! gx anyway!! i want to say don't get down, but i feel like that's such a pointless thing to say if you get me? not that i don't mean it obvs! you can't be down today anyway, you need to focus on jumping your DP!!!!

txipi · 23/01/2015 13:28

Jelly cheer up! We'll all get there eventually! Plus you are a very committed shagger so I know that it will happen for you soon :)

honey sorry to hear about your brother, hopefully he'll get better soon?

Bought some Leggins at asos, they waistline is so high that I can cover my boobs, I now know why old ladies like grandma pants. I think I can get used to this Hmm

jellypi3 · 23/01/2015 13:43

thanks ladies, just a lot of things happening at once makes certain days down days! But yeah we will get there in the end. I actually think the Clear Blue monitor is bad for me because it's not giving me a peak which is adding to my stress. But I will push an egg out at some bloody point! I'll carry on reading my "Taking Charge of your Fertility" book and become more lil-esque.

And yes, jumping DP is a priority tonight (though I am baby sitting for half the night so will have to do it before / after lol).

Work is so boring today!!!

jellypi3 · 23/01/2015 13:43

thanks ladies, just a lot of things happening at once makes certain days down days! But yeah we will get there in the end. I actually think the Clear Blue monitor is bad for me because it's not giving me a peak which is adding to my stress. But I will push an egg out at some bloody point! I'll carry on reading my "Taking Charge of your Fertility" book and become more lil-esque.

And yes, jumping DP is a priority tonight (though I am baby sitting for half the night so will have to do it before / after lol).

Work is so boring today!!!

jellypi3 · 23/01/2015 13:43

thanks ladies, just a lot of things happening at once makes certain days down days! But yeah we will get there in the end. I actually think the Clear Blue monitor is bad for me because it's not giving me a peak which is adding to my stress. But I will push an egg out at some bloody point! I'll carry on reading my "Taking Charge of your Fertility" book and become more lil-esque.

And yes, jumping DP is a priority tonight (though I am baby sitting for half the night so will have to do it before / after lol).

Work is so boring today!!!

jellypi3 · 23/01/2015 13:44

oops triple post!!

rachelrawrrr · 23/01/2015 14:54

AF is absolutely killing me. It's so heavy that I feel physically ill Sad and OH is as sympathetic as you can imagine... Angry

jellypi3 · 23/01/2015 15:03

:( rachel have you taken any pain killers?

rachelrawrrr · 23/01/2015 15:09

I have Sad ended up having to take some tramodol last night, which is probably one of the reasons I feel so shocking today... all I'm getting from OH is, "oh shurrup moaning", charming!
I just feel really lethargic today Sad don't know if I can do this every month!

honeysucklejasmine · 23/01/2015 15:14

Thanks ladies. They are finally doing a lumbar puncture so might find out what it is. They thought it might be bacterial meningitis but moving away from that now. But his platelet count was so low they took until now giving him transfusions to bring it up for the lumbar.

OP posts:
jellypi3 · 23/01/2015 15:26

Oh Rachel I really am sorry for you. I know there are some ladies on here who suffer with painful periods, maybe they can help with some ideas (hot water bottles are good apparently). If it is the same next month then go to the doctors about it. But just remember, whilst it's horrible and painful and messy it only lasts at most 25% of the month, so for the other 75% you are free of the witch.

Honey gx the LP show's what it needs to show. Some hospitals can be frustrating with their treatment :(

honeysucklejasmine · 23/01/2015 15:49

Hahah Jelly, but 25% of a year is 3 months! Grin Hope so.... Taking so long!

Rachel drugs. You need drugs. And a duvet cocoon. And chocolate and a trashy movie you've seen hundreds of times to take your mind off it.

OP posts:
rachelrawrrr · 23/01/2015 16:24

thanks guys, definitely gonna be investing in a hot water bottle when we get paid! I have no chocolate or anything Sad but I do have pizza and wine! that should numb the pain haha Wine

I hope things go okay at the hospital honey, I had a lumbar puncture once, but because I'm overweight, I couldn't put up with them trying to find the pocket. Fingers crossed for you Thanks

jellypi3 · 23/01/2015 16:57

Well at most 25%. Average is about. 5 days for AF isn't it?

rachelrawrrr · 23/01/2015 17:27

if I can remember rightly, before I was on contraception I used to last for 7-10 days Sad Argh why couldn't I be the man and the OH be in my position?! then I could wind him up about it Wink

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