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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

The 37th Just Shaggers are on their way! Watch out for accidental erections and bruising injections, polish your perfect ovaries, we're climbing a mountain and digging deeply to get our BFPs!

999 replies

honeysucklejasmine · 14/01/2015 16:46

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 36 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2263704-O-Come-all-ye-Viroids-joyful-and-triumphant-Deck-the-halls-with-Contraband-All-I-want-for-Christmas-is-a-BFP-Just-Shag-all-the-way-no36" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2272951-The-JS-Grads-turn-19-Were-cooking-and-popping-out-our-JSing-babies-with-style-co-ordinated-changing-bags-and-a-healthy-dose-of-humour" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome
OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Noniks3 · 22/01/2015 20:42

Presented DH with my still wet booty fresh out the shower & apparently asking if he wants to try & shag the witch out if not as attractive as football...Confused

gaggia, lemon - les-be friends??

mummyofonesofar · 22/01/2015 21:00

Another foiled plan. OH just found a film he's been dying to watch. It finishes at 10.30! I'll be asleep before then!

Noniks3 · 22/01/2015 21:18

Why are none of us getting the sex tonight?! Angry

mummyofonesofar · 22/01/2015 21:20

What's going on! Angry Early night it is for me then! Hope some other quiet ladies are having better luck....

gaggiagirl · 22/01/2015 21:34

Mine are Primark ones jelly! Pyjama twins!
tink fair play to you I would rather have chips than sex.

jellypi3 · 22/01/2015 21:42

i should be sexing DP but i want a bath instead lol!

honeysucklejasmine · 22/01/2015 21:46

Lil is right. I should be icing on Sat but not a sniff of ewcm yet, so guess we're a bit behind this cycle. Might temp from tomorrow

Bro still pretty sick. Sad

OP posts:
gaggiagirl · 22/01/2015 21:49

noniks fetch your wet booty over to the lemongaggia love shack!
All viroids welcome. Please bring your own turkey baster.

townsender · 22/01/2015 21:50

Will see if I can persuade DP for an early night. Started watching Wolf Hall on iPlayer, but finding it just as boring as the book ... so time for an early night Grin

jelly wow, you can be strict when you want to be!! Not sure if I will be against the rules by poas on saturday - it'll be CD35 when I'm usually 32-38 days, but I need to know whether I can have a glass of wine or not if AF hasn't arrived Confused.
I'm doing sooo much better than last cycle though, when I started poas at cd29, hope you viroids are proud of me!

lildottie · 22/01/2015 22:05

town embryo wouldn't get your wine until the placenta takes over at 5 weeks so forget poas and start the twpu early (2week piss up)

honey lil is always right! Grin sorry your brother isn't improving. hope you're coping ok Thanks

no sex here either. think if dh comes near me with that thing my ovaries might burst! I'm so uncomfortable! but your men have no excuses. although tink it would've been a shame to waste the chips so I'm with you there. you don't think he came back with them as a plot to foil your temptressing do you?

gaggiagirl · 22/01/2015 22:07

honey sorry about your brother. I really hope he gets well soon.

Ainat266 · 22/01/2015 22:09

I want to join the lesbian turkey basting action. DH is downstairs playing the playstation and I'm lying upstairs with the radio on. To be honest though I haven't tried to get him upstairs. I'm quite liking being a starfish. Maybe I could be convinced to move over for a special viroid..

I have nothing to report really. Just checking in.

Crazy busy day at work today. And expecting another tomorrow. and over the weekend, and every day next week. I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.

Purplecircle · 22/01/2015 22:36

Evening viroids. Apologies for radio silence.
Honey I hope your brother is ok.

In other news I got past the miscarriage point from last time and I made it to 5 weeks. No bleeding, still pregnant SmileSmileSmile

rachelrawrrr · 22/01/2015 22:50

very happy for you purple Thanks Thanks

can't wait to get to trying next month! this witch had definitely come back with a vengeance, not had her in 7 years, now she's making me pay Sad

rachelrawrrr · 22/01/2015 22:55

Lil I've been off for 5 weeks and just got AF. I'm really praying that it's regulated, because I want to conceive next month Grin

jellypi3 · 22/01/2015 22:58

:( rachel I remember my first one after 5 years on depo. I was so exited I remember posting elatedly on here about how happy I was. The next day I was cursing the bitch! Big virtual hugs x

honey thinking of you x

purple I'm doing a little dance for you hun :) so happy I really and keeping everything crossed for this bean!

town listen to lil. Im taking notes for future Wink

rachelrawrrr · 22/01/2015 23:44

jelly thank you, virtual hugs are much needed as the OH doesn't seem to understand how much they're hurting me. my cramps have always been atrocious Sad I was dancing yesterday Grin but now I want her gone so I can get back to JS Grin xxx

daisyspice · 23/01/2015 00:07

Evening

congrats purple, must be a weight lifted off ur mind! Smile

Honey sorry to hear ur brother isn't doing so good hope he gets better soon!

Rachel my first experience of the witch was similar thankfully she only stayed two days which was enough.....guys don't have a clue I tried to explain cramp as constantly being kicked in the balls for four days, the reply I received was no woman can imagine the pain of being kicked in the balls....oh really lol!

Tugging sensation has progressed to a "stabby" feeling in the right side I'm hopeful this is a good sign!

No sex here either but on the plus side shake your tits it's almost Friday SmileSmileSmileSmileSmile

gaggiagirl · 23/01/2015 06:55

happy Friday!

jellypi3 · 23/01/2015 07:31

Woo Friday!!

I fucked up my ovulation test on the monitor this morning. Didn't pee on it enough to had to do another pee after so now don't trust the result.

Hobbit19 · 23/01/2015 07:48

Can't remember who Ainat? but someone has a lesson observation today - good luck!!
POAS party getting close gx for you all!!

australopithecus · 23/01/2015 09:17

why are none of us getting the sex tonight?!

I got some this morning, if that helps?!

jellypi3 · 23/01/2015 09:19

I woke up and was going to initiate soem this morning but then the cat jumped on the bed.

Killed the mood...

australopithecus · 23/01/2015 09:27

You didn't kill the mood for the cat. Grin

Noniks3 · 23/01/2015 09:32

Happy Friday!

thank feck for that aus, glad someone broke the drought. We were getting dangerously close to trade descriptions descending on us in a fury! Must jump DH if not blobbing tonight to save face for the JSers...

Witch has not yet visited, am now on CD30...chickened out of POASing this morning so if I grow a pair I'm still in for tomorrow - who else is testing?

So glad all is going well Purple

Hope you're ok Honey Flowers