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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

The 37th Just Shaggers are on their way! Watch out for accidental erections and bruising injections, polish your perfect ovaries, we're climbing a mountain and digging deeply to get our BFPs!

999 replies

honeysucklejasmine · 14/01/2015 16:46

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 36 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2263704-O-Come-all-ye-Viroids-joyful-and-triumphant-Deck-the-halls-with-Contraband-All-I-want-for-Christmas-is-a-BFP-Just-Shag-all-the-way-no36" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2272951-The-JS-Grads-turn-19-Were-cooking-and-popping-out-our-JSing-babies-with-style-co-ordinated-changing-bags-and-a-healthy-dose-of-humour" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome
OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Noniks3 · 22/01/2015 14:13

Oh dear Ga & Lemon - there really is nothing else for it but to baste each other…

GX for successful icing Jcandy.

Grrr Tink…still not out yet. Aren’t digis not great for earlier tests?

Hi Rach I didn’t have AF for over 10yrs. 1st one back was absolutely heavier than the ones that followed. Also I think they are better overall than when I was a teen!

Rhi depends if you knew when you iced as you won’t stand much of a chance of a true result until 11DPO at the earliest and even then it could still be wrong

Think we all start out planning to not test until we are ‘late’…I think we’ve all caved too!! Isn't that part of why ICs were invented? Jelly is just trying to protect you from the disappointment a BFN brings and how silly you feel when AF shows up bang on time. BUT as we’ve all got carried away with TTC don’t beat yourself up Country!! Or anyone else! Even if you do a Lemon we'll pick you up & carry you to a BFP!

Noniks3 · 22/01/2015 14:14

I feel like Mel Gibson in Braveheart after that speech...

honeysucklejasmine · 22/01/2015 14:34

Ga, cunthawk is quite pretty, as cunts go.

I agree with Jelly who is turning in to Lil no poas until af is late!

OP posts:
jellypi3 · 22/01/2015 14:40

haha honey it's so weird as I read my message back I thought just that! It's this Taking Charge of Your Fertility Book, it's really preachy and in turn is making me preachy about this stuff lol! Sorry!

Non look the Mel Gibbo speech!

jellypi3 · 22/01/2015 14:43

love* not look

gaggiagirl · 22/01/2015 14:47

haaaaaaaa

jellypi3 · 22/01/2015 14:50

haha there's much much worse things to be Wink everyone loves lil remember! Anyway she'll be graduating with her BFP soon so someone has to fill the shoes of the sensible one!

Jcandy · 22/01/2015 15:07

FF has now decided I'm 3dpo! I give up! No point in trying to understand it. Think I'm going to pat myself on the back after all the shagging and pour myself a glass of water (no wine since I'm twotting - but I can imagine)

Haha jelly continue with your voice of reason! We probably won't listen anyway Grin

Sorry for the bfn tink and country

Looks like I'll be testing on the 2nd country so I'll keep you company in the waiting

Welcome live

australopithecus · 22/01/2015 15:09

Hi live. I hope you have a pineapple core at hand to take with you when you're doing cupboard sex, cunthawking as prerequisite, obviously.

LiveLaughLove2015 · 22/01/2015 18:00

Thanks for the welcome!!

Thanks Jelly - here's hoping, but for a change I'm quite relaxed about it! First day of my last AF was 2nd and ended up spotting a little on 19th and 20th (it's never happened before), if it was implantation I'd have to have ovulated on cd9 so I know it's unlikely. I've given up trying to work out what's going on!

Hi Dot33 - I think I've convinced myself every month that we've been lucky and every time ended up gutted. The reality is I don't even know if i've been ovulating. So the plan for the next few months is to relax and enjoy!

Hi australopithecus - I'm stocking up on the pineapple core and Brazil nuts!

CountryGal4 · 22/01/2015 18:07

live hello!

As I've been told before welcome to the mad house Grin where the deeply inappropriate is encouraged !

LiveLaughLove2015 · 22/01/2015 18:12

australopithecus just got that! haha can't be getting cunthawk and pineapple confused!

LiveLaughLove2015 · 22/01/2015 18:22

Hi Country Thanks very much, I'm loving the mad house and of course all that is inappropriate! Grin

lildottie · 22/01/2015 18:32

Rachel hi. I had 2 normal afs then a 7week AF when I came off the pill. even 2 years on they were only just starting to regulate.

lol jelly that was so something I would say! I'd add this though. if your jsing you don't actually know when AF is due as even the most regular among you can ovulate early or late in any given month. so you may think your 12dpo and worthy of a frer but without the science you could be 6dpo. so do what jelly says!!

lol at the lesbian basting... think you may still need the spunk though!

TinkerBlue · 22/01/2015 18:41

Hello newbies Smile

right, am going to jump dh in minute - he's on his way home and we've not shagged for two weeks. AF is set to arrive any moment so am going to take my tights off! This will be shagging for pleasure Shock this is an unheard of occurrence at the moment. Should I get rebuked I will be joining ga and lemon in their tryst. Sometimes a girl gotta get back on the horse. PMA! Let the shagging commence I have had wine

mummyofonesofar · 22/01/2015 19:32

Haha Tinker I could have posted this. Been over 2 weeks here too. AF due tomorrow or the next day. Sometimes a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. He has been "preserving his energy" ready for our 3 week shagathon EOD as soon as AF has gone. Enough is enough!

gaggiagirl · 22/01/2015 19:51

tink you've taken your tights off! You temptress! Grin go on lass!
I removed one leg from my harry potter quidditch strip pyjamas for last nights shag. Put leg back in. Job done!

jellypi3 · 22/01/2015 19:53

OMG i bought some HP quiddich pj's from primark! they are so comfy lol!

I have a back ache tonight :( hot water bottle me thinks

CountryGal4 · 22/01/2015 19:59

Hang on. Since when has primary
Had hp Jammie's???? leaves the house to go to primary immediately

CountryGal4 · 22/01/2015 20:00

*primark

jellypi3 · 22/01/2015 20:04

they had loads just after xmas country :D

TinkerBlue · 22/01/2015 20:13

Foiled! He came home with Fish and Chips!! What's a girl to do? I went with the chips Grin Maybe tomorrow.....

TinkerBlue · 22/01/2015 20:14

**tights are still on.....

CountryGal4 · 22/01/2015 20:22

Forget poas early... I've failed as a human as I don't own hp jammies

jellypi3 · 22/01/2015 20:37

awww tink...to be fair i'd choose the fish and chips. Why not jump him afdter

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