The 37th Just Shaggers are on their way! Watch out for accidental erections and bruising injections, polish your perfect ovaries, we're climbing a mountain and digging deeply to get our BFPs!

[honeysucklejasmine]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 36 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2263704-O-Come-all-ye-Viroids-joyful-and-triumphant-Deck-the-halls-with-Contraband-All-I-want-for-Christmas-is-a-BFP-Just-Shag-all-the-way-no36" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2272951-The-JS-Grads-turn-19-Were-cooking-and-popping-out-our-JSing-babies-with-style-co-ordinated-changing-bags-and-a-healthy-dose-of-humour" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome

Just lol'd at cunthawk!

Nothing new to report weird tugging sensation, still rampant and still shagging......genuinely think I'm about to break oh and not in a kinky way

How rubbish lemon!! Why on earth would he refuse! I second honeys Turkey baster idea!

Well my temp is up this morning and we dtd last night (that's 10 times this cycle) and I am worn out!! It's up to my body now, if it hasn't ovulated then I give up and will also be crying in a corner

Digi says no. Maybe I should try actually having sex next month??? Wish af would come now, don't want to spend all holiday cramping and running to the loo.

daisy tugging is good , as is shagging. Watch the ol' banjo string!

Morning viroids.

tink your not out till she comes riding in so gx.

lemon that's shit! I agree with you and ga going on a mad lesbian romp.

Stil got my gx for you viroids pissing this weekend.

So woke up this morning really dizzy. Last time I had this it turned out to be Ménière's disease and I had to take horrible drugs that made me feel more dizzy (but eventually cleared it up). Another high on the monitor, think I'm doomed to forever see that word.

Also we started taking pregnacare vits for me and wellman vits for him and this morning I feel really nauseous (could be the dizziness). Has anyone had that side affect from the vits (DP also feels sick but he has that reaction to vits anyway).

lil so excited for your scan tomorrow.

jelly you don't need to drive if you're dizzy do you? Careful, hope it passes. Heard some funny things about pregncare.

On reflection it's at least 2 weeks since we last dtd, so I'm definitely out. And an awful mood has taken hold af must be ready to pounce . C'mon the rest of you pissers!

jelly take the vits after your evening meal

lemon the ungrateful git! Yes we should indeed elope who needs men!.

Here is cunthawk on a visit to MiLs.

Oh wow that's a gorgeous bird gaggia (i know i'm mean to hate it but it's very pretty).

No driving tink just the train, which I don't travel on at the best of times, so it wasn't a fun journey but i'm in now.

lil thanks for the tip i'll do that in future. (don't know why I didn't think of it lol).

Scoffing a croissant to make myself feel better lol. Also had a stabby pain in right ovary...I hope they are starting to work!

I still can't believe I google "cunthawk" when you were first getting it ga

hello again everyone been a while since I posted on here.

ttc #1
came off cerelle 5 weeks ago
AF appeared last night.

holy cow this witch is back with a vengeance I've not had a period in 7 years (since I was 13, because I went on contraception straight away) and all I can say is OUCHHHHH

anyone had any experience with if their "flow" returned to their normal way after coming off the pill? I'm stressing because I was very heavy, so much so it used to make me so ill or may they be regulated?

time to JS once this witch buggers off!!!!

Jeez, I missed a couple of days and I come back to lesbian turkey basting plans and pissing into posh teacups? Nice work . I would like to be counted in favour of both. Thanks.

Hello to those emerging from the shadows, nice to meet you viroids and good luck with all the shagging. Hope it goes well and you collecively turn into a litter of kittens within the month.

I think I am officially a twot at the moment, dtd again last night to be sure and intend to keep it up every 2-3 days for another week just to be safe. No more EWCM now though so I think I'm covered. All I have to do now really is not go mad about every twinge and burp. If my AF is due on the 2nd-3rd of Feb, what date do you reckon I could test? I'm asking because I want to count the days down like a proper mad bastard.

Rhi don't test until she's late and you are at least 12-14DPO. Otherwise you will get posh ROCS thrown at you!

Ah, ok, completely fair enough too. Thanks for the warning jelly, I'll test on the 4th then. Anyone else Twotting? I might need a willpower buddy towards the end.

Caved and poas this morn.... Negative. Af due tomorrow. I know I shouldn't have but felt compelled to. No pre signs of af though. Feel silly/disappointed :(

Rhi AF is due 7th for me, 6th for honey I think, so we are kind of similar times to you (but not quite the same!).

Right, we need a new rules of no POAS until AFTER AF is due. Country don't get down over it, you aren't due until tomorrow so you are probably around 12DPO at the moment, which can be too early for some sticks to detect. What brand did you use. Try POA FRER tomorrow if you get no luck with AF.

I am firmly in support of NOT POAS until the day after AF is due (otherwise last month I would have POAS and wasted it because AF came slightly late).

Also remember cycle times can and will vary in some women.

Aww Country it's bloody horrible getting a bfn. It's a good excuse to treat yourself to something comforting, and get back on the horse for next month.

Jelly you make an excellent voice of reason, while I agree entirely in principle, I am very much going to struggle in practice.

You have a point though, there is still time for a bfp Country, so all is not lost

Thanks jelly I used boots own first response thingy. I finish my 28 day cycle today. I think that's a splendid rule. I deserve slap wrists really as it wasn't in the spirit of JSing.

I didn't mean to come across as harsh or negative :) I just think we all get a bit overwhelmed by the process, but really if we all just waiting until we were "late" to test then there would be less agonising about pre-af symptoms etc.

I was always a 'don't test 'til you're late' kind of gal. Still wasted four with this pregnancy though...CD36 and it was a squinter even then! Not out 'til she's here viroids.

Rawr welcome back :)

Oh yey love this thread!!

Name:LiveLaughLove
Age:30
DC:None
TTC: June 2014

Up until Christmas was getting myself way too wound up about TTC! Decided to take a break from 'trying' in January ie no symptom checking and OPK's. My cycle's still all over the place and no amount of researching online is going to give me the answers that I want! Had myself some spotting the other day could be implantation but it's unlikely will just need to wait and see.

Happy shagging everyone!

Welcome live :) gx for this being your lucky cycle

jelly didn't think you were being harsh at all! You were giving good frank advise which in all honesty is why I came on this board. It is overwhelming and it's good to be able to talk it all through with you gals as I have no one else to talk to about it. Of course it is also entertaining to discuss the merits of a wankban hahaha

Ah thanks lil, I might give pineapple a go next month. Not that Ill need to as Ill be upduffed already

Thats so rude Lemon, you definitely should elope with ga

Hi Rachel! I think its great that the witch arrived for you, 7 years is a long time! Im sure they wont all be as hideous as this one, your bodies probably just trying to sort itself out.

Welcome Live. Were very similar. Age 30, TTC sine July 2014 and no hint of a BFP yet.

Youre not out yet country!