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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

The 37th Just Shaggers are on their way! Watch out for accidental erections and bruising injections, polish your perfect ovaries, we're climbing a mountain and digging deeply to get our BFPs!

999 replies

honeysucklejasmine · 14/01/2015 16:46

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 36 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2263704-O-Come-all-ye-Viroids-joyful-and-triumphant-Deck-the-halls-with-Contraband-All-I-want-for-Christmas-is-a-BFP-Just-Shag-all-the-way-no36" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2272951-The-JS-Grads-turn-19-Were-cooking-and-popping-out-our-JSing-babies-with-style-co-ordinated-changing-bags-and-a-healthy-dose-of-humour" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome
OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
TinkerBlue · 21/01/2015 15:09

LTB! Although I should be careful as I've not been putting out much lately myself. I could in fact be the bastard that my dh needs to leave Shock

Noniks3 · 21/01/2015 15:10

Pooch that sounds tough. Hope you're ok.

I reckon the evil witch bitch will come for my tomorrow Tink - it would be my normal day so I may not get to POAS. No reals signs either way...I've not yet started bean talking, but if it works I'll try it!

Talking to pets is not crazy, it is entirely necessary.

australopithecus · 21/01/2015 15:58

noni my cat says he agrees.

Noniks3 · 21/01/2015 16:03

My spaniel would fart on my pillow & give me pinkeye if I did not address her in the manner in which she is accustomed. I dread to think what scheme you cat would think up aus...

Muddytoes1 · 21/01/2015 16:34

Boooo - sorry viroids but looks like you're going to be one down at the poas party this weekend. Af just reared her ugly head. Bring on the wine tonight Smile

CountryGal4 · 21/01/2015 16:51

Shit sake.. Sorry to here that muddy

Muddytoes1 · 21/01/2015 17:14

Thanks Country but I'm only 2 cycles in, in no rush and enjoying the process so don't feel disappointed or anything. I'm sure that will change when I've been trying for many months but for now it all just seems like a fun extra curricular activity.

Dot33 · 21/01/2015 17:22

Oh, Flowers for you muddy eat loads of brie and drink copius amounts of wine. The Bitch.

Hope youre doing ok too pooch, please vent if it helps.

Talking to imaginary beans might be a good move, mine is currently swishing down my tubes.

australopithecus · 21/01/2015 17:33

Regurgitation of half-eaten grass on a freshly-made bed would do it, noni

honeysucklejasmine · 21/01/2015 17:39

You lot do make me laugh. We're hanging on in there over here.

Cousin just announced her second pregnancy.

A good day all round!

OP posts:
lildottie · 21/01/2015 18:07

dot its the core. you eat 1/5th of a whole pineapple each day from 1-5dpo then stop. the thinking is bromelain, mainly in the core, helps aid implantation. you stop as too much can cause uterine contractions. I did it s couple of cycles. might do it for the ivf. Brazil nuts supposed to help too.

pooch glad you're feeling better. do you have a hobby u could turn into a business in your spare time to bring in dome extra cash?

muddy sorry the witch pissed on you poas party invite. cowbag.

my ovaries ache! and I've got wind - guessing because my ovaries are encroaching on my other organs space!

justtheonethen · 21/01/2015 18:53

muddy rubbish news, sorry. Fairly sure I'm going to be out tomorrow too, can feel the witch rearing her ugly head.

pooch I do a bit of catering to bring in a bit of extra cash, got friends who sell bunting and patchwork blankets too so as lil said maybe one of your hobbies could be a money spinner

Loving the posho rocs!

jellypi3 · 21/01/2015 19:16

ahh no lil boo to gassy ness :(

Watery CM is starting to build up!

Hobbit19 · 21/01/2015 22:00

Ha! Inspired by your posh ROC ga, might keep my eye out in the charity shops for a suitably gopping chintzy posh China cup into which one can pee. Smile

Lol noninks at your spaniel taking revenge. One of our kittens likes to launch itself from the bed on to the curtains, sway about a bit, fall off and repeat. Or sleep on my head. Both of which are excellent forms of entertainment at 3 am.

Also, ladies of all knowledge, what is a WTF bleed?

TinkerBlue · 21/01/2015 22:25

lil boo to gas! How you coping emotionally? Still feeling strong? Hope so.

Wtf cycle happens after mc Sad everyone seems to have a different experience, hence wtf.

townsender · 21/01/2015 22:41

Muddy Nooooooooo!!!

Keeping gx for nonks,just and tink, otherwise it's going to be a lonely party this weekend. Am on major pant watch myself, funny coloured pant snot today and now I think every twinge is AF on her way... sods law says she turns up on Sunday, after I've had a bfn and then still avoided boozing on Sat night 'just in case'. Thats my bet anyway

townsender · 21/01/2015 22:42

gx to country too, knew I'd missed one Blush

lildottie · 21/01/2015 22:45

hopefully that peak is on its way jelly!

tink I'm doing OK thanks. just trying to keep positive and tell myself it only takes one! only one full day left before next scan on Friday! can definitely feel my ovaries now. its rather weird!

TinkerBlue · 21/01/2015 23:05

Sorry muddy missed that one. Enjoy lots of Wine and Cake

Major pant watch here too. Very achey in that dept. Not cramps yet though. Tomorrow is CD28, which is the same length as last one. Normally 30 days but last one was anovulatory which may have shortened it. May well poas in the am and get it over with if the bitch doesn't appear overnight. Think I iced early, maybe 15dpo ish already. So should really start next cycle tomorrow ish. However, I have ewcm? Wtaf? Never had it at this point before. Twotting is hideous.

Hope my long boring post has lulled you all to sleep Grin

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 21/01/2015 23:13

Ugh! DH has just refused sex!!!

TinkerBlue · 21/01/2015 23:15

LTB. Or tie him down.

honeysucklejasmine · 21/01/2015 23:37

LTB Lemon.

OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 21/01/2015 23:38

Maybe you and Ga can embark on a torrid husband-free lesbian affair and get some turkey baster action going? Men obvs don't want to be involved. Wink

OP posts:
LemonDrizzleTwunt · 22/01/2015 00:23

That's the answer! Ga ditch the cunthawk and come shack up with me! You can clean, I'll cook Grin

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 22/01/2015 00:24

I had a wash and everything...and he still refused!

Men can be soooo ungrateful.