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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

The 37th Just Shaggers are on their way! Watch out for accidental erections and bruising injections, polish your perfect ovaries, we're climbing a mountain and digging deeply to get our BFPs!

999 replies

honeysucklejasmine · 14/01/2015 16:46

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 36 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2263704-O-Come-all-ye-Viroids-joyful-and-triumphant-Deck-the-halls-with-Contraband-All-I-want-for-Christmas-is-a-BFP-Just-Shag-all-the-way-no36" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2272951-The-JS-Grads-turn-19-Were-cooking-and-popping-out-our-JSing-babies-with-style-co-ordinated-changing-bags-and-a-healthy-dose-of-humour" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome
OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
australopithecus · 21/01/2015 04:59

A bit belatedly, but no, I am not in Australia. Just to clarify, I would lurve to be in Australia. My ROC would be a little tidal pool in the Great Barrier Reef.

CountryGal4 · 21/01/2015 06:49

Bloody 4 15 this morn. I feel a state. Someone help

Purplecircle · 21/01/2015 07:41

Ain I did have periods but they had always been erratic. They were better on metformin

jellypi3 · 21/01/2015 07:46

country what's wrong???

honey gx for your bro. Must be worrying. PMA from me!

Bollicle is nestled between my boobs. I say nestled, but my boobs aren't actually big enough to give me cleavage to it's more sitting right on my sternum lol. It's an ouchie :(

Glad you know what's wrong ain and gx you pain is signs of icing!

lil let us know how you got on. I remember that exam you did, it's been ages! (Or feels like ages, in reality November wasn't that long ago).

Another high today. Temp is doing a mountain simulator at the moment going up and down. I had one massive spike when I was ill but apart from that they have all been similar so hoping I'll see a temp shift if when it happens.

CountryGal4 · 21/01/2015 07:49

jelly woke up yesterday at 2 3p and couldn't get back to sleep. Woke up at 2 this morn had to pee but thankfully managed to get back
To sleep after 30 mins. I'm not very good on disturbed sleep :(

CountryGal4 · 21/01/2015 07:49

*4 this morning

jellypi3 · 21/01/2015 08:44

oh dear :( are you POAS this weekend? could be a good sign? ;)

ga sorry didn't see your post! glad you're still around!

CountryGal4 · 21/01/2015 08:59

Yeah af due Friday. I hope so jelly I'm such a good sleeper normally so it really throws me

lildottie · 21/01/2015 09:00

woohoo I passed! yes its been 11weeks, lazy buggers!

country I feel your pain. I hate waking up in the night. I was up at 6 for a pee and took about 20mins to drop off, only then was it because dh rolled in for a hug. if he hasn't I think I'd have been awake when the alarm went off at 7.50!

honey he's in the best place. don't forget to look after yourself too.

ain recipes are here. I didn't watch the programme, my mum told me about it.

jellypi3 · 21/01/2015 09:28

I woke up really randomly at 3:00am, so that's when I took my temp this morning lol!

CONGRATS lil !!!!!!! :D bet you are well chuffed right now! Wasn't it a finance type exam?

Dot33 · 21/01/2015 11:06

Morning Viroids, its taken me 3 whole days to catch up on this fred, lovely to see that theres an army of ladies hanging out here now. I thought it was time to post or I was in danger of stalkerish behaviour.

Congratulations Stoat, such incredible news! I cant wait to see another few lines this weekend at the pissy stick party.

Congrats Lil too! Will it help you career wise now youve passed?

Ainat youre so funny I LOLd at for the record my boobs are not scabby. Im glad to hear it!

Country sounds like a promising symptom!

My ROC is a deodorant lid, although a jam jar is a great shout. Maybe decked out with some of these? www.zazzle.co.uk/sperm_crossing_stickers-217013008536632885

Ive been reading some fertility books that say that eating pineapple in the last week of the twot can help implantation. Has anyone else heard this before? Oh and also that you should keep warm.

Also I read something about raspberry leaf tea, or just that tea in general can boost fertility.

3 DPO here and nothing to report.

CountryGal4 · 21/01/2015 11:36

Well done lil. Well I hope It viroids as it is the only thing different. Other than that there ain't nothing going on! may have to break ranks and poas Friday morning as were off to London sat for the weekend

Ainat266 · 21/01/2015 12:09

congratulations lil Grin

I will check out the link when I'm home and not on my phone. Thanks.

and dot I'm glad I made you laugh! Haha. Smile

I will update properly from home later. Enjoy the rest of your Wednesday viroids. X

Noniks3 · 21/01/2015 14:04

Encouraging sign Country?

Honey hope you're holding up ok

Well done Lil!

ouch Jelly - how's it getting on...throbbing at all?? Lemon I know you'll check back in for potential sporn Remember, hot compresses to draw the bad stuff out...

Already on pant watch & twitchy...last 2 mental cycles were 23 + 26 days (normally 28 but WTF cycle is apparently 2 for me). Today is CD28 & most likely just me returning to normal...but I can't stand it!!??

not helped by DH last night saying 'well surely you know when it's a period by now? Cue look of death

Jcandy · 21/01/2015 14:09

Day 22 here and I'm willing my body to ice today after my peak yesterday. Come on body!!! One more shag tonight and then that's it I give up! So either I ice today or we're missing it. 10 times in the last week and a half is enough it seems! Confused

Well done lil!! The start of a run of good news I think Wink

How rubbish country hope it's good news for you or that at least you get more sleep!

A bollicle on your boobs jelly?!? Hmm

gaggiagirl · 21/01/2015 14:15

tink I'm due the witch on Monday but there will be no poas here since that twatty arsehole wasted my egg! AF is definitely coming for me.

Poochieblue · 21/01/2015 14:18

is that a boobicle then? ouch though jelly! and i have to 2nd lemon and say it's nothing till we have a picture! haha!! sorry to laugh at your discomfort but you did poke the sporn lovers with this tidbit!

congratulations lil im dead chuffed for you!!

oh dear non my DH would have got more than the death stare for that one!!

Had a bad couple of days my end. something has gone terribly wrong with our finances which resulted in me having a complete breakdown re ttc on monday. DH is being lovely though. Don't think the whole thing has been helped by me not being able to even afford to get my prescription for my anti-depressants!! yes yes i know - not good at all!!! am going to the chemist straight from work tonight.

Can't cope with the sleepless nights and the tears already and that's only after a couple of days being off - really bad timing cos my hormones were being a bitch as well!! ended up having an hour on the sofa last night. DH had that pissed off look when he woke me up this morning! not sure why he gets so pissed off when it's me that doesn't sleep!! not like i keep mr snorey draws awake!! MEN!

gaggiagirl · 21/01/2015 14:18

Oh and here's my roc. Its next to a shampoo bottle so you can see how teeny cute it is.

The 37th Just Shaggers are on their way! Watch out for accidental erections and bruising injections, polish your perfect ovaries, we're climbing a mountain and digging deeply to get our BFPs!
Poochieblue · 21/01/2015 14:20

oooohhhh i had forgotten about the twatty arsehole bastard wasting the egg!! i was hopeful for you!! mind you - look at purple and her twice in the month and BAM!! (apologies if it wasn't purple, my memory is worse than a broken sieve!!)

Poochieblue · 21/01/2015 14:26

is that a giant bottle of shampoo or a toy cup? lol!

I use my disaronno glass as my roc that we had one year with a bottle. it quite simply isn't big enough for disaronno so was sat gathering dust in the kitchen cupboard. also thought that i could pass it off as a water glass for painkillers as it's in the bathroom cupboard with said tablets should anyone ask why it's there - just hope to god no one ever actually uses it for that!!! - obviously rinsed out but still gross! pmsl! not sure how i could pimp it up and still get away with this ruse lol

TinkerBlue · 21/01/2015 14:27

Well done lil yay Grin

Hi dot Smile

gaggia sorry, forgot about that. Sad maybe you iced earlier?

jc good shagging! Smile

noniks twitchy here too. Talked to my imaginary bean in the car this morning. Told him to hang on in there. Out loud. Confused made myself chuckle when I caught myself but dear God, I can't even get upduffed at the moment!! Hmm if it's driving you mental poas tomorrow? CD29 is plenty, no?

country gx for Fri

Thanks for all of your positive vibes viroids Flowers

TinkerBlue · 21/01/2015 14:30

pooch sorry for hard times Sad hope things sort themselves out soon

jellypi3 · 21/01/2015 14:34

Wow we have so much POAS action this weekend it's crazy!

Well the bollicle is kind of no more. I have this weird hate for spots and lumps, so if i find one I pick at it until it's a scabby mess. Which I did this time round and now have a sore hole on my chest. So whoever said they didn't have scabby boobs...well I do! lol! So no pics sorry lemon. The sporn will have to wait.

Tink that made me laugh, talking to an imaginary bean. I talk to myself and my cats all the time so it's not that weird well it kind of is...

pooch :( that's not good at all. Are you ok now?

Poochieblue · 21/01/2015 14:45

thanks viroids, am a little better and convincing myself that i am well enough to do something pro-active and get another part-time job. Definitely couldn't cope with going back into an office full time, plus i love working for my bro-in-law too much to leave anyway so need something in a shop maybe.

tink i used to talk to my dog when he was around poor thing thought i was nuts! lol and since he's been gone, i have taken to talking to myself usually when i need a talking to! otherwise i talk to my Nan. is talking to the dead worse than talking to imaginary beans?!! although i bloody well hope it isn't imaginary for long!!

Anyway - i need some good poas action for you lot with some good results!! am mightily excited for the weekend here. anyone going to have a go earlier? :-D take pity on me?!?! hehehe!!

gaggiagirl · 21/01/2015 15:04

pooch its a giant bottle and a tiny toy cup! Sorry things are shitty for you at the moment. Chin up lass.
tink I iced cd13 he refused the sex from cd11 til yesterday Shock