The 37th Just Shaggers are on their way! Watch out for accidental erections and bruising injections, polish your perfect ovaries, we're climbing a mountain and digging deeply to get our BFPs!

[honeysucklejasmine]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 36 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2263704-O-Come-all-ye-Viroids-joyful-and-triumphant-Deck-the-halls-with-Contraband-All-I-want-for-Christmas-is-a-BFP-Just-Shag-all-the-way-no36" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2272951-The-JS-Grads-turn-19-Were-cooking-and-popping-out-our-JSing-babies-with-style-co-ordinated-changing-bags-and-a-healthy-dose-of-humour" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome

Getting excited about all these potential BFP's who's all poas and when? I'm not anywhere near that yet having to wait until 9th feb before AF is due

Purple....keeping everything crossed for u well what I can anyways lol

So might be being thick here but once u get ur bfp u graduate to another thread is that right?.......hope the Cape donning, wank ban and jizz chat continues there

Yes there's a whole new shaggers fred in antenatal clubs where you can wave the pissy sticks around

The "Fred" penny just dropped hangs head in shame

I worry about myself sometimes

and once you give birth you move to the just mumming thread.

pickle ads will not be helping, again I'd suggest he chat to gp about it, or if he won't maybe you could. my dh never spoke to gp about referral. I saw her and she gave me forms and a couple of jizz pots for him. his consent was jizzing and signing I guess!
only other suggestion is to make sure he is getting plenty of vit c (consultant told dh to take 1000mg a day) and zinc and selenium. no concrete evidence for humans on the last 2 but have been positive effects on sperm in bulls. vit c kills off free radicals to give good sperm a chance instead of being brought down by bad ones. is he taking any vits? you can get Wellman conception ones but I think more targeted approach with those 3 is probably just as effective and cheaper.

Country luckily he takes nothing stronger than ibuprofen now, although there's still a lot of anxiety about making it worse again. He also had to have a HUGE injection in his back last week (which seems to have sorted out any leftover pain).

Noniks I am like a reproductive metronome, regular to the hour... I've not tried temping or anything though so apart from EWCM I'm guessing when I'm ovulating. Potential to go away for a few days in April which sounds like a great idea. Would have to pick somewhere quiet though. DH refuses to dtd in buildings that he thinks have thin walls. Yes, I realise he is odd.

So excited for the Saturday POAS extravaganza. I'm supposed to be on a course learning stuff for MEGA-ULTRA-SUPER-HUGE-EXAM in a month, but I'll be sneaking out my phone to see how everyone is getting on.

rhi please report in the morning, I am now intrigued about the outcome!

Gx for all the ones that are taking part in the piss party over the weekend!

Doctors have decided to take my plaster cast, now I'm rocking a super cool boot that makes me look as Robocop. If everything goes to plan the shagfest at chez Txipi should start next week :)

daisy if it's any consolation, DH was saying he was looking forward to our weekend away next month and I started calculating if the witch would be here. Considering I'm in the graduate thread...ahem.

Yes, I love POAS Saturday! Just what this Fred needs is 3 more freshly upduffed ladies so I'm wishing the three of you (and anyone else of course) all the luck in the world .

Daisy unfortunately there doesn't appear to be so much talk of jizz in the other forums, we'll have to change that when we get there.

Lil he's taking multivits (which I practically shove down his throat most mornings), might check the zinc/selenium levels in them. A few people have said they help and it certainly can't make things worse. He definitely can't stop the ADs. I'm not sure I could ever get him to give a sample either, he doesn't masturbate (apparently), ever. He was mortified when I said it was a completely normal thing that most people did. He's led this weird sheltered upbringing where running around naked or having a wank is AWFUL. God knows how he ended up married to me (queen of running around naked and inappropriateness).

pickle I didn't mean for him to stop taking them, but they may be able to change to one better for ttc rather than the bog standard cheapest possible because its the NHS one! lol

daisy we can be poas buddies, ivf bfp due 9th Feb ish too

jelly record the high temp and let ff work it out, but note illness or fever in symptoms

just read back and see it's a cold so just mark illness not fever

Oooh, POAS PARTAY!

Yey! Looking forward to the POAS party on Saturday, I am having to live vicariously through you all for a while as I won't get to PAOS for aaaaaages. Stupid 38 day cycle!!

Ugh, no ghost jizz tonight. Alas. Legs tightly crossed though.

Think I am also due around 9th! lil it would be an honour to be your POAS buddy for your very first ivf BFP!

Jelly and I atrebdue around the 7th... Hopefully we'll have a streak of bfps!

lil yay for the 9th never had a poas buddy

I think feb will be a very good month indeed

just skim read the last few pages. will have to reply properly tomorrow. But just wanted to say I'm sure you'll be fabulous on Friday just. what age range do you teach? I had an observation last week. fun times!

Ergh I've been awake since 2 30

Ergh Country, that's rubbish. Any particular reason or just couldn't sleep? I was up at 0530, and I thought that was bad!

sunshine just woke up done sleeping. Been wide awake since then so have got up. Very very unlike me

Finally a peak after 11 days of flashy smileys! And we successfully dtd last night (without the conceive plus) donning my cape tonight as well hopefully but today seems to be good so far! temps all over the place but hoping FF will figure it out

Looking forward to the POAS party viroids, looks like mine will be beginning of Feb

Morning viroids! Well done jcandy, bring on the POAS parties! Gx for all of you

Morning viroids. God you lot chat lots at night!

Donned the cape again last night. That's two out of two shaggable nights done! :D

I can't believe how many pissers we have coming up considering the quiet December we had! These JS Fred's will soon die a death if we all get BFP's or more likely it will just be me name changing and having convo's with imaginary people

So last cycle the monitor gave me lows on CD 6-11 and high from 12-24 (no peak). This time I had a low on CD 6 and 7 and today (CD8) I've got a high??? Bloody monitor is driving me mad.

Also had major non-pregnant baby brain today, I couldn't work out how to record my temp on my phone lol. Took me ages! I swear if I had just had AF I'd think I was upduffed! Bloated, stabby boobs. Maybe I'm icing super super super early.

Also, it's fecking cold today.

Morning!

Don't worry Jelly, go with it! Maybe you'll have highs for four days or so then a peak? That would be quite a respectable time in your cycle to ice.

I'm going to a crafty day at my friends house today. I am determined to teach her how to make the 3D toys I do, as if really isn't hard, and she can already crochet!

Jelly it learns your cycle so it's becoming more accurate, go with it!