The 37th Just Shaggers are on their way! Watch out for accidental erections and bruising injections, polish your perfect ovaries, we're climbing a mountain and digging deeply to get our BFPs!

[honeysucklejasmine]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 36 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2263704-O-Come-all-ye-Viroids-joyful-and-triumphant-Deck-the-halls-with-Contraband-All-I-want-for-Christmas-is-a-BFP-Just-Shag-all-the-way-no36" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2272951-The-JS-Grads-turn-19-Were-cooking-and-popping-out-our-JSing-babies-with-style-co-ordinated-changing-bags-and-a-healthy-dose-of-humour" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome

I hope so, I don't want another 20 10 days of highs! To be fair FF is saying this is coming up to my fertile time so maybe..........

Good luck with the crafts honey :)

la how are you? You must be getting quite far along now?

15 weeks today and I can feel little flutters sometimes at night which could be the baby. All very surreal!

That's so exciting! It's gone so quick for you, all you grads are so far along now! We will all join you soon hopefully (my optimism is dying each day lol).

Are you going to find out the gender of the baby? Or leave it a surprise?

Morning! Well dtd went magnificently, didn't end up under the stairs but lit candles in the bedroom and prepared two complete costumes. Text dp some instructions and all went swimmingly (I hope in the direction of my cervix).

Got warned by dp that this is not allowed to end when I get pregnant, he is had a taste of living with a nymphomaniac and isn't prepared to go back. Looks like i'm in this for the long haul whatever happens.

Jelly you'll get there, I lost hope plenty of times but stuck with it xx

Well done, lots of shagging going on!

Whoohooo poas party!! Hope I make it to Saturday though. My tummy is a bit crampy so hoping the witch isn't up for making an early appearance.

Haha well done Rhi!!! It sounds like you are going to need to get a new wardrobe fitted to keep all the costumes!

Morning viroids. Just been to hospital for diabetic appt.
have to increase insulin as my sugars aren't quite low enough

Did it feel weird telling them you are pg purple?

Hope upping your insulin is ok?

Ow ow ow sore belly! Never going to make it to Saturday - boooooo!

:( keep optimistic muddy !!

My belly is making the weirdest gurgling noises today, it's bloody weird. I don't feel gassy or bloated (or at least no more than usual) but it's making some strange noises and bubbling. Oh joy!

Bubbling like something is cooking in there maybe

Though you're kind of at the wrong end of the cycle for that right? Hope the gurgling eases. I will try and keep optimistic in the meantime.

rhi that's funny DH is the same although now we've been successful alot of his requests are going to have to be shelved!

haha yes totally wrong end muddy, I've just had a very heavy AF and am on CD 8 so I think it's clinically impossible for anything to be in there. Very odd sensation though!

stoat have you started getting any strong symptoms yet?

It does feel weird telling people. It's almost embarrassing because I'm admitting to having sex. How bizarre is that...I will be 41 soon!

Haha i know what you mean purple. One of my best mates is very open about talking about that sort of stuff and always laughs when she mentions sex and see's the look on my face!

The worst person to tell would be my grandad! I'm still a little girl in his eyes, i'm sure of it, and although DP and I have been together over 6 years and own a house, and although I know he's not naive and knows we have had sex (he picked up my prescription for my injection a couple of times) telling him would be me telling him i've had sex, and that would be mortifying lol!

Excellent news from all and sundry! Babies, appointments, candles, cycles, and pissy parties! Whoooo!
I have little to report. There is some sun outside. I am no wearing socks. Apparently the times says the sun is dropping page three, which makes me believe the guardian will have all its columnists write about it, and the telegraph will offer some mp's viewpoint, and the daily mail will immediately start a page three feature. Ho!

I would however like to register my disappointment that no Cupboard Sex took place, rhi.
I'd also like to nominate the term Cupboard Sex as referring to immediately ambushing you DP (by leaping naked from the cupboard of course) for sex when he comes home.

Oh my god this just had me in fits, read the description and the comments!

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/131406614416?clk_rvr_id=766736044576&afsrc=1&rmvSB=true

Haha, that's brilliant jelly dp would get on well with that man.

Afternoon ladies

Hope everyone is well

I saw that jelly it's hilarious what's more shocking is the current bid!

I'm feeling a bit lousy today got a really dull cramp going on haven't had it before feels like someone is playing tug of war with my ovaries

Ainat Thank you, I teach year 6, what about you?

Just going to have a proper read back now.....

Hello all. Hope none of you have frozen to death in this goddawfull cold. aus put some socks on. You'll catch your death woman. Or are you actually in aus?

purple did you get past your first big date yet, or is that this weekend? Thinking of you either way. And mountain where are you, hope bean is hanging on in there? In the nicest possible way I hope you both have the sickness to keep your minds at rest.

lil how you doing? Do you have monitoring scans this week? Is the oestrogen doing its job?

Well done you cupboard shaggers, I'm impressed and inspired by all of your inventiveness. Loving the pre shag texts. Although my dh will most likely crash on receiving that from me on his way home! Will try it and report back.....

So, advice or perhaps hooyah needed regarding supplements. I have recently spent a disgusting amount of cash on Zita West Vitafem and Vitafem Boost, and Pregnitude. The Zita stuff has arrived and you're supposed to take 3 per day. Should I wait for a new cycle? Wait for the Pregnitude to arrive? Start with the Zita stuff first so my digestion doesn't hate me? Send it all back and use the money to prevent hunger in the third world (yes I spent that much)? Feel like a bit of a dick over it, been staring at them for a week. They are very expensive ugly ornaments. Does anyone even know if they might help?

Also, I have to confess upfront that I am going to contraband next cycle. I have icopks and will be temping. Still need an roc, jelly no deodorant caps here, we are a roll on family.

tinker having no knowledge of ovulation sticks or supplements, I am only able to help with the roc. I am going to make a lovely one out of a yoghurt pot ready for my AF date. Boring receptacle but I am definitely going to decorate it, I think with pictures of sperm and sequins. Obviously not like porn shots, but nice enlarged tadpole pictures, perhaps with dps face photoshopped on.