The 37th Just Shaggers are on their way! Watch out for accidental erections and bruising injections, polish your perfect ovaries, we're climbing a mountain and digging deeply to get our BFPs!

[honeysucklejasmine]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 36 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2263704-O-Come-all-ye-Viroids-joyful-and-triumphant-Deck-the-halls-with-Contraband-All-I-want-for-Christmas-is-a-BFP-Just-Shag-all-the-way-no36" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2272951-The-JS-Grads-turn-19-Were-cooking-and-popping-out-our-JSing-babies-with-style-co-ordinated-changing-bags-and-a-healthy-dose-of-humour" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome

TWW: Two Week Wait

TWOT: Two Weeks Of Torture

Twotting: Going through the process of enduring the TWW or TWOT :)

Two weeks wait country the time in between icing and AF

Oh and for further clarity, the Two Week Wait is the time after you ovulate, before AF starts, so the time you COULD be pregnant. We tend to advocate avoiding heavy drinking and taking medicine during this time, and some people also treat it like they are pregnant (so avoiding certain cheese, pate etc) just in case.

Then yes yes I am :) af due Friday. So lemsip is fine? Paracetamol plus is that plus caffeine

Jelly was quicker than me!

Lemsip is fine but don't take Lemsip and paracetomol, because lemsip contains paracetomol. So it's one or t'other i'm afraid.

TWOT is two weeks of torture. That time between icing and a BFP or AF. TWW is two week wait, more an IVF term - but the same principle when applied here - the time between embryo transfer and POAS.

Can I hang out here, am on the Feb bus. 4 days til CD1 of cycle 1 TTC #2

Morning folks! Low libido advice: I think maybe you could suggest JIAC/ turkey baster method and see what he says? Perhaps he'll open up a bit more if he'd prefer not conceive that way. If it is affecting your confidence, have you told him so? I know pressure is usually a bad thing but perhaps he's more likely to explain himself if he knows it's affecting your self-esteem and then you'll have some clue how to fix it together.

Well my plan for dtd last night failed terribly. After our boy's birthday party we each fell asleep on different sofas. Not in the itinerary! I am now trying to think of a plan to jump him when he gets in from work tonight (about midnight) I think I will dress up and hide and then text him a clue to my location. Let's just hope the kids don't wake up when I am naked but for a cape and eyemask under the stairs. As a side note, any silly sex ideas very much appreciated, I am quickly running out and you ladies sound like exactly the sort of team I need behind me . Not only are we having a great time, but I am very worried about this getting boring for him if I stop making an effort.

Welcome mummy :) anyone can hang out in our cool, jizz packed crowd!

Rhi get your disco pants on lass! If he's tired, just do lazy sex (I did that last night!).

Thanks jellypi!

I don't know about silly but a well timed "I'm upstairs.. Naked... Have started without you" works pretty bloody well

Stockings are always a winner in our house. Or a random deliberately short bj in the kitchen/living room etc!

Hmm think I've had my first ever post shag bleed today. I was spotting slightly yesterday after AF (brown) but today got some very slight bright red spotting (and annoying post-shag jizz fest in my fanjo making deciding what type of CM I have very challenging).

Country and mummy I like your tactics for convincing your OH's My DP is like a teenage boy so he's always up for it

pickle are you married to my dh? before I met him he was a self confessed man whore. before ttc we went months and months without anything. since stopping ttc the natural way we've DTD once, so no wankban here. he's on prescribed wanking. I think his low libido is a symptom of his infertility but hasn't been confirmed by Dr or anything. cab you get him to go to gp to discuss his low libido and ask for sa test? no point putting pressure on yourselves to DTD if there is a fertility problem.

someone also asked about home male kits, did I respond? if not dh did one, said he was fine - he couldn't be further from fine! his count is OK which is why the home test said he was OK, but his morphology (normal shaped) is 3% and motility (swimming ability) is 4% on worst test results so I wouldn't bother.

5follicles on each side this morning but lining is thinner than they'd like so I've been put on oestrogen tablets. had to wait ages in pharmacy because dose wasn't what they'd normally expect. now worried my lining is way too thin and I'm on mega dose to try to correct it in time. feeling a bit nervous.

C'mon lil 10 follicles is great progress and thin linings are perfectly correctable. You're doing great, style it out for another few weeks and you'll have your happy ending. Drink some water and eat some broccoli (tis reported to be good for the implantation).
Cue lots of pom pom waving

must be a worry lil but if they have given you the drugs then you will be on the right track! gx for you! It's getting very exciting though! When is egg collection due?

It was me who asked about the home SA kits, and yeh we decided against it because as Tink and others said, they only test for number of sperm not motility and morbility etc. So will just continue as we are and get him tested if we still aren't having any luck (or if I don't get a peak on the monitor after 3 months).

sorry jelly, just lol'd at morbility!!

i was hoping for more than 10 tbh, but they said they prefer quality to quantity so just hoping they are super good ones and all have eggs in them! EC due monday all being well.

haha yeh wrong word there

wow monday will fly by, this is super exciting! Do you think this will be your BFP fred?

Someone I know just announced their pregnancy, it's pissed me off because it was an "accident" apparently. It does worry me that two young, apparently healthy individuals who shag (a lot) seem to keep missing it and yet people who have one flipping accident get so bloody lucky.

Rant over.

i'm afraid i can't offer any further advice on low libido other than what the viroids have said. on the rare occasion my DH has rebuffed my attempts it has really knocked my confidence though and i can say that the only thing that makes me feel better is talking to him about it!

most of the time, shouting him and saying i need his help with something and being there naked is usually enough to do the trick with mine.

The witch is still being EVIL to me, although the cramps and tears have subsided, i think she's now just trying to catch up on the last couple of cycles of not doing her job properly! will be most pleased when she fucks off though - i do hate visters that out stay their welcome!!

Does anyone else get decidedly more horny when AF is around?! i know my sister does so don't think it's just me - i do however think it is some kind of sick joke!! I never want any the week before then then she arrives and i feel deprived!!! DH is having it as soon as she goes lol!!

Poochie I do too. DH offered to go in anyway, but that is absolutely beyond me. No no no, hard pass, no. Sorry the witch is being evil!

Jelly its fucking annoying isn't it? I try to reassure myself but thinking we'll be better prepared and have planned pur life around it, rather than making do. And would I rather be taken by surprise or be ready? But its still hard.

Lil that's a good follicle count! Well done you. Now, pop your oestrogen and chill out!

i don't mind during mild spotting but that's my limit!! Don't think DH would either - he does however think it's his right to have BJ's - doesn't seem to get why that's unfair?! lol!

I do too pooch, have only DTD once when AF was in town though, about cd3 or 4 when she'd eased off a bit. we were in Cyprus in holiday and got caught up in the moment. wasn't as bad as I expected had visions of dh coming out covered but he was remarkably clean!

no can do honey - its January and I have 8 tax returns left to do and 4 sets of accounts! was hoping to get them all done this week.

Haha honey I read your comment to lil as "good follicle cunt*...haha!

And yeah you are right, I want to be ready, it's just so frustrating and soul destroying and we've only been at it for 5 months (almost 6).

Pooch I did get weirdly horny when she was here this time round, but same as honey, that's a no go zone for me!

Afternoon ladies

Enjoying a good skive from work and catching up on the chat

Jelly I hear ya sister I'm so impatient it's unbelievable especially when I hear folks "accidents" which have occurred after once dtd

Pooch I've discovered I'm becoming quite rampant since coming off the pill OH is loving it tho and think it's bringing us a lot closer