The 37th Just Shaggers are on their way! Watch out for accidental erections and bruising injections, polish your perfect ovaries, we're climbing a mountain and digging deeply to get our BFPs!

[honeysucklejasmine]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 36 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2263704-O-Come-all-ye-Viroids-joyful-and-triumphant-Deck-the-halls-with-Contraband-All-I-want-for-Christmas-is-a-BFP-Just-Shag-all-the-way-no36" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2272951-The-JS-Grads-turn-19-Were-cooking-and-popping-out-our-JSing-babies-with-style-co-ordinated-changing-bags-and-a-healthy-dose-of-humour" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome

So. Dinner. Chocolate, anyone?
I wouldn't mind the season of the witch. At least it would mean my body is trying to be fertile. Boo. Shagging in the dark. Will have to be content with Donovan. #amishowingmyage?

at least our dry spell on bfp's is over! it was a very quiet christmas.

Just been to a christening and there were loads of babies around!! Feeling extra broody and annoyed with my body for still not icing

Hope it's not the witch country

Bat I would recommend you take your temp vaginally if you can. The temperature of the room and whether or not you mouth breathe that night can make your temp really erratic orally. Its not as awful as it sounds, honest!

bat keep shagging!! Your tempts are not reliable this month and you never know!! country sorry to hear that AF is around the corner, hugs

i might try fanjo temping next month if this month doesn't give me any insight

Fwiw I get good results from oral temping. Vag temping sounds too ick for me. I only temped for 3cycles though, once you've confirmed a pattern it's good to get back to just shagging

I temped orally for 2 years with no problems. I always got sore nips after icing too bat

something's definitely going on in my ovaries, I've gotvtwungey feelings, but only on the right irrationally worried about dominant follicle!

are the new drugs preparing you to create an egg lil?

hopefully a bakers dozen jelly!!

Wow, away for the weekend, and missed out on all the jizz talk!
For my 2 cents worth, a box of tissues by the bed, quick wipe, and knickers back on does it for me. Its all about keeping the sheets clean, I hate washing bedding as I don't have a tumble dryer! Don't usually need a pee after, just zzzzzzz.

lil hope its all ok, all those needles. When's your next appt?

AFs also due for me this week, I've counted muddy, and tink, County, justtheone if your AFs haven't all arrived early. Anyone else?

I've got a grand plan to try and wait until Sat 24th before poas, as that's the next time I'm planning on boozing as we're visiting friends. Not sure I'll survive the wait, but that's where I need encouragement from you girlies not to do a lemon!! 24th will be CD35, my last few cycles have been 32-38 days, so I figure that's a reasonable plan?!

Went for Sunday pub lunch today. Is it me, or are there always babies in pubs at Sunday lunchtime? Not on their own, obvs, but the only kiddy on the table, with what looks like parents+ 1 set of GPs. Gx this time next year that will be me!!

What's that YouTube video of sperms journey or the like everyone was watching a few months ago? Fancy watching it with dh, can't remember or find on YouTube.

So much jizz talk this weekend! I feel pretty boring that we keep tissues by the bed for those moments. I always feel a bit ikky having a wipe afterwards though (especially after I once found the cat eating the tissues out of the bin!).

Having a bit of a wobble at the mo. DH isn't really interested in dtd (ever) and my confidence just feels a bit shot. I've got 5 days to pull myself together and get him in the mood but I don't know how.

Hi sunshine

Just casually flash a boob.....that normally works for me

Make sure the blinds are down tho il give my neighbour a heart attack and receive an eviction notice

Hi sunshine

Just casually flash a boob.....that normally works for me

Make sure the blinds are down tho il give my neighbour a heart attack and receive an eviction notice

Pickle do you know why? Is he on board with ttc? Why is your confidence low sweetheart? A side effect on his lack of libido or something else?

If it helps, Dh asked me to go on top the other day and i almost cried. Felt like a whale. droopy boobs and all

CANNOT BELIEVE I missed all the jizz talk!!!

Sorry for being so shit with keeping up, life is pretty hectic at the moment.

So, in my jizzperience, yy to ghost jizz, but only sporadically. Other times I'm all dribbly and gushy, no matter how many pillows I steal from DH to get my arse in the air. Have found that some gentle pelvic floor exercises (think cock squeezes) help to suck it up, though.

Congrats stoat! That's bloody marvellous news! POAS again and again and show it to us until we get another BFP in order to fuel my pissy addiction And hi to all the newbies, sorry I missed your arrivals.

Can't remember when AF came this month (was around 7th or 8th or something), so can't even count CDs this month, oops. (Did manage to get my new mooncup stuck though and had to get Dsis to help remove it, so that was fun. dealing with my fanjo is obviously a two-man job. ) However I'm away with work for a week from Thursday, so am going to don the cape a lot this week. Am going to try and bump uglies every day, just for fun, although I'd have to say it's not going particularly well, given that DH is comatose next to me while I MN. May jump him in his sleep...but is that rape?

I don't really know Honey, I think it's just low libido. It's literally like the day we got married he just completely 100% lost interest. Before ttc we'd been almost a year without dtd because of various excuses "sore back" "too tired" etc and now when we do he acts as if he completely isn't interested. HE literally lies there like he's just died. Sounds awful when its written down (and it is awful) but otherwise our relationship is great. I've tried EVERYTHING. Wish I could fix it, but it's just not that simple.

Spicy I've tried it (thankfully with the blinds shut!!)!

Viroid down viroid down!! I have waken up with a mother of a cold :(

sunshine have you tried talking to him about it?

Oh no country, lots of lemon and honey for you!

I have tried talking to him about it. He just denies that there is a problem and says it will "just work out". He clearly has issues because he finds it really difficult to talk about anything intimate. I suggested sex therapy but he was so horrified by the idea of having to talk to a stranger about this. I wish I could just turn the clock back 2 years when there was no problem. I think I'll try a romantic Friday night this week and if that doesn't work who knows what I can do next?!

I'm sure there is another viroid who has a low libido dh. Hopefully they will be along in a moment.

It's good that you are talking about it. It does seem like counselling would be a good idea but obviously you can't drag him there.

Am I ok to take paracetamol plus??

What's that? Paracetomol yes, codeine no. I assume because you are in tww? Do you not have any lemsip or the like? That might do the trick.

Lemsip should be fine country. If you're not Twotting drug yourself up on anything and everything (I was swigging cough syrup this weekend).

Lemon I can't believe you missed the filthy jizz chat!

Sunshine it used to be revered for us, I used to be the one with no libido at all. I think it was an effect of the depo injection he's not taking that is he??? and since coming off I have definitly seen an improvement in my sex drive. But what we have found has helped is (this is quite childish by the way) we have "in charge" days. So DP is in charge atm, until we DTD. Once we do, I then become in charge. Because we both want a baby, it kind of puts the pressure on each other on alternate days to DTD, which might not sound ideal but we try to make it fun (not in a dominatrix way but in a "you do this I do that" way). I do feel for you though :(

Honey was it the Great Sperm Race you're on about? It's not available on Youtube, but I found this link worked for me: www.dailymotion.com/video/x1cdwzv_the-great-sperm-race_tv

Not to be dim but what is twotting/tww?