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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

The 37th Just Shaggers are on their way! Watch out for accidental erections and bruising injections, polish your perfect ovaries, we're climbing a mountain and digging deeply to get our BFPs!

999 replies

honeysucklejasmine · 14/01/2015 16:46

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 36 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2263704-O-Come-all-ye-Viroids-joyful-and-triumphant-Deck-the-halls-with-Contraband-All-I-want-for-Christmas-is-a-BFP-Just-Shag-all-the-way-no36" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2272951-The-JS-Grads-turn-19-Were-cooking-and-popping-out-our-JSing-babies-with-style-co-ordinated-changing-bags-and-a-healthy-dose-of-humour" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome
OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
txipi · 18/01/2015 11:36

Hello Viroids!
Long time lurker here, can I join? brings biscuits and cake it felt dirty to keep reading your posts and not introducing myself, specially after all the jizz mentioned on the latest ones.

Gaggia squirting? I thought that was not possible! I'm I missing out? Need to know more!

Name: Txipi
Age: 30
DC: none, nada, zero
TTC: Mirena removed in October, unexistant period till December, broken ankle last Wednesday. Trying to TTC since October but the odds are not in our favour. Probably having to put TTC on hold until broken ankle recovers.

Excuse grammar errors I'm not an uneducated beast but I'm a bit foreigner

jellypi3 · 18/01/2015 11:41

Hi txipi :) Broken ankle sounds sore, I can imagine it makes shagging a challenge!

Hobbit19 · 18/01/2015 11:44

Hi txipi, oh dear, sounds like you are having a bit of a bad time at the mo!

Goods things:
AF arrived in December so your cycle is busy sorting itself out.
You have a broken ankle so you cannot do any housework and your DP will have to do it all.
48 hours after a fracture is normally the most painful so should start to subside soon.
You are in the right place for ridiculous helpful suggestions on the best sexual positions with a broken ankle. Smile

TinkerBlue · 18/01/2015 12:17

Back seat of the car with said ankle poking out of the window?

justtheonethen · 18/01/2015 12:40

txipi i broke my heel a few years ago.....spooning with plastered leg on a huge pile of cushions Wink
Have you got a cover for your leg so you can wash? Godsend....on amazon...look like a big blue leg condom!

txipi · 18/01/2015 13:22

Thanks for your recommendations Viroids! So far we've tried spooning which hasn't really worked since its still sore and I'm on the temporary cast which is heavy beyond believe :(

Tinker dh thinks that the car manoeuvre is a bit extreme, give me one more week and I'm up for trying Hmm

Off to Amazon to look for blue leg condoms!

honeysucklejasmine · 18/01/2015 15:10

Leg condoms? Now i really have heard it all. Grin

Welcome [txipi]! Sorry about the ankle!

OP posts:
txipi · 18/01/2015 15:58

Thanks justtheone should be with me by tomorrow, I bet I'll look hot on it?!

Hello honey :)

jellypi3 · 18/01/2015 16:01

Urgh back from football, cold and achey.

Still gonna jump DP tonight. He's in for it!

batfish · 18/01/2015 17:14

Calling all shagging experts.....do you reckon I've iced this cycle and if so, when? Today is CD19 and today and yesterday I've had really sore nipples - which can apparently happen after ovulation according to Dr Google. EWCM happened on CD17, haven't noticed anything since. So do we reckon I iced on CD17? Didn't notice any EWCM before then either. All very confusing! Have been temping but only for a week - had a dip on CD14 but I don't think I can pay any attention to that as only just started so don't know what the pattern is really!

Ainat266 · 18/01/2015 17:14

jelly have a hot bath and then jump him. or.. maybe you could encourage him to give your poor achey muscles a massage... Wink

I semi tried to jump DH earlier. well, tried at being a bit suggestive anyway. He's rubbish. didn't really pick up on it at all. He does really lose man points at taking any opportunity to dtd. I might give it a proper try later tonight...

justtheonethen · 18/01/2015 17:17

txipi oh you will, its better than fancy lingerie! It was a bugger to get on/off iirc needed a second pair of hands and a good sense of humour!

Go jelly go!

jellypi3 · 18/01/2015 17:37

Yeh had a hot soak. Gonna get him to give me a massage later. Was so cold, and we lost! Bah! Still good exercise ruined by me devouring 4 Maryland cooked when I got home

Can't believe I am still ever slightly spotting today. This AF has lasted longer than any I have known.

honeysucklejasmine · 18/01/2015 18:14

Bat i would go with CD17, EWCM is a definitive sign. Are the temps for 18&19 higher than the rest of the week? If so, and temp is high again tomorrow then it was CD17 for sure.

If you struggle to see cm, then try evening primrose oil for the first half of your cycle. Should make cm more obvious. But you must stop after you see ewcm (and therefore ice) as it may interfere with implantation.

Is that right, La?

OP posts:
CountryGal4 · 18/01/2015 18:18

I think I'm out this month viroids. Grumpy as hell today and mild backache/cramping. Think the witch is on her way.... bitch.

honeysucklejasmine · 18/01/2015 18:25

Sorry to hear that country. Another victim of the witch. Sad

OP posts:
TinkerBlue · 18/01/2015 18:26

bat 3days of consecutive temp rises will confirm ice. This will be hard to confirm this time as you've only been temping for a week. If I were you I'd keep shagging. Next month (and I hope you don't need next month) you'll probably be able to look back and pin point the day. In the meantime I'd say keep your cape on for a few more nights! jelly gives good advice about the epo, that, water and exercise (plus a good poo) will help with making ewcm more visible. If it helps, I get slight cramping and pink slime on ov day. Maybe something to look out for. Delightful aren't i Grin

TinkerBlue · 18/01/2015 18:26

Sorry honey

TinkerBlue · 18/01/2015 18:31

country not out til she swoops in, although I feel the same. Cramps and tearful a week early. Although this might be a good thing as we go skiing on Saturday so be good to get it out of the way.

jellypi3 · 18/01/2015 18:34

oo skiing, where abouts tink?

Also I don't give good advice on anything!

TinkerBlue · 18/01/2015 18:41

Ha ha, yeah you do. You are queen of eod shagging and sotm! That qualifies you. I am master of Pom poms, therefore must keep you viroids in the bedroom until it is my turn! We are going to Italy, prosecco and pizza and pasta...

Stoatystoat · 18/01/2015 18:51

Prosecco, pizza and pasta...drool

Sorry to hear the witch might be on her way country though I thought that on Friday. Backache, big spot, tidying up, all my PMT symptoms. But there's always next month and you can have fun giving it a go.

I've got to remember to keep shagging now even though I've got my BFP, don't want DH to think I only wanted him for one thing. Keep shagging viroids!

CountryGal4 · 18/01/2015 18:58

true not out till I'm out i suppose. Just not feeling it. Sooooo I ate my weight in homemade lasagne... thats an excuse right???

batfish · 18/01/2015 19:09

Well temp was highest the first day I did it which was CD11 - it then tanked to a major low (self diagnosed hypothermia) on CD14 and then came back up again and has been consistent other than a little dip of 0.11 degrees on CD17 aNd back up on cD18. But none as high as the first day. But anyway as it is early days with my graph drawing I prob shouldn't pay too much attention to it!

I would really love to go to sleep tonight without a shag haha! Not loving the preseed either, it's soooo slippy that it really removes all sensation! Anyone else find that?

Thanks for the advice all, you're such fountains of knowledge!

I'm getting impatient for another BFP - who is next please?? It's been like 2 days or something, come on viroids!