Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

The 37th Just Shaggers are on their way! Watch out for accidental erections and bruising injections, polish your perfect ovaries, we're climbing a mountain and digging deeply to get our BFPs!

999 replies

honeysucklejasmine · 14/01/2015 16:46

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 36 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2263704-O-Come-all-ye-Viroids-joyful-and-triumphant-Deck-the-halls-with-Contraband-All-I-want-for-Christmas-is-a-BFP-Just-Shag-all-the-way-no36" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2272951-The-JS-Grads-turn-19-Were-cooking-and-popping-out-our-JSing-babies-with-style-co-ordinated-changing-bags-and-a-healthy-dose-of-humour" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome
OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Poochieblue · 17/01/2015 21:59

loving zylas training DH! seems the rest of have a lot to learn!

TMI alert.... went for a bath earlier to see if it would ease my cramps (been doubled on sofa all day :-( ) and there came a small (20p) "thing" floating on the surface. when I grabbed it it was bloody but felt like toilet tissue! am freaked out!!! - btw I also had a shower after as felt gross after that in the bath! :-/

honeysucklejasmine · 17/01/2015 22:08

Ainat

Not sure Poochie, sounds scary!

OP posts:
jellypi3 · 17/01/2015 22:11

Maybe a clot pooch?

Lol at the "massager" honey

TinkerBlue · 17/01/2015 22:18

pooch how long you been off the pill girl? Sounds to me like your body Is figuring out what to do. Lumps in af is de rigour without bc I'm afraid. As is arse wrenching cramps. My go tells me clots bigger than satsumas and she's interested, anything smaller and me and the gin are to deal with it alone. The only thing that will fix your af nightmare is pregnancy, so get yourself ready for next cycle, in the words of gaggia go on lass! Pma for next time, cross your gingers and get the disco pants ready Grin

gaggia me too, dear lord me too.

Afaik, a knee trembler after he's finished is the best creator of the ghost jizz. If your cervix is open I know the muscle contraction from an orgasm can have a vacuum effect! I've tried it, it works.. Homework new viroids - get out your capes and jump him and see for yourselves Grin

Best buzzy friend is reported to be a wevibe, I once asked the same question. I have no experience as Dh seems to find the idea a personal affront to his manhood. How very dare I.

TinkerBlue · 17/01/2015 22:19

Gp not go,

Poochieblue · 17/01/2015 22:41

thanks tink been off bcp since end of Aug 14 so 4.5 months? I think you're right and everything is still settling down and hopefully relearning how to work all by itself! don't worry am sooooo ready to don the Cape AND disco pants next week lol! :-D for research ghost-jizz purposes most of all hehe!

lildottie · 17/01/2015 23:47

pooch I had a couple of 31day cycles after pill with AF not much different to on bcp, then I was 2weeks late with bfns then bled for 7weeks before bcp finally got out of my system. hopefully this is a good sign. I ovulated every cycle after that without fail up until bcp in November last year so gx your body has had a kick start now like mine did

spicydaisy · 17/01/2015 23:51

I had the same pooch only had the witch for 2 days then the clot thing freaked me out but assumed it was just me coming off the pill...it would appear my cycle is shot to pieces!

Loving the jizz and wankban chat!! Anyone else do the sumo wrestle move post shag to stop it escaping?! Il get whiplash one of these days

Me an the oh have been debating on which position is best or does it really matter?

australopithecus · 18/01/2015 06:03

Ghost jizz? An education.
Can I have chocolate for breakfast?

jellypi3 · 18/01/2015 08:04

don't think it matters daisy, although I have read some places that say deeper penetration is better.

chocolate for breakfast is perfectly acceptable in my opinion.

Took my temp again today. Then heard one of the cats have explosive diarrhea so got up and had to bath her. Now I'm covered in scratches and smell like cat poop. Oh the fun of it.

LaLa5 · 18/01/2015 08:29

We are going to mothercare today to look at things for the first time. I'm not going to buy anything, but we want to start choosing. I've got an idea of which brand of what but you never know until you see it if you'll actually rate it.

I'm weirdly excited about this.

jellypi3 · 18/01/2015 08:44

Oo very exciting La. That's one of the things I am looking forward to. DP reckons he won't want to look at anything until 24 weeks at the earliest, because he won't consider it a baby until then. I think he will start thinking of it as a baby at 12 weeks. (Ofc we need to actually get upduffed first!).

Good luck!

LaLa5 · 18/01/2015 08:55

Oops I meant to post that on grads! But oh well, hopefully you'll now realise how riveting my chat is those days! I remember when I used to talk about blow jobs and ghost jizz, no jizz has come near me for 14 weeks!

LaLa5 · 18/01/2015 09:00

So...positions. I don't think it matters tbh - as lil the expert in speed of semen travel says it shoots up you so fast! This one was conceived through spoon sex

Chocolate for breakfast - yes! My ms is back so anything that doesn't bring on vom is fab Grin

Jelly I stepped in cat vom this morning

Definitely recommend getting a buzzy friend involved, helps with ghost jizz and general speediness required for lunch time stealth shags

LaLa5 · 18/01/2015 09:03

Jelly I think the guys can find it hard to connect as they're not the pregnant one, but mr la had an 'oh my god there's a real baby in there' epiphany at 12 week scan so is now a bit more willing to look at stuff

honeysucklejasmine · 18/01/2015 09:08

Have a good time La! So many variations on the same thing, it's mind boggling!

We are quite boring with positions, and if DH hits my cervix i am not happy!

OP posts:
Muddytoes1 · 18/01/2015 09:21

Austra choc for brekkie is definitely acceptable especially on a Sunday. I'm having leftover birthday cake for breakfast this morning.

La what is spoon sex? Feel stupid asking but scared to Google it. Is it just sex whilst spooning? Have all sorts of weird images in my head of actual spoons being involved.

LaLa5 · 18/01/2015 09:25

Haaaa ha ha! Sex into a spoon which I then shove up my...

Noooo you're right it's sex whilst spooning. Lazy sex. Sex requiring least amount of effort on my part, save a few ball yanks to finish him off.

Muddytoes1 · 18/01/2015 09:33

Hehe thanks for the education Grin puts spoons back in the drawer

Ainat266 · 18/01/2015 09:58

La you never fail to make me laugh! Sounds very exciting - going to Mothercare to look at things. Eek!

I had Special K cereal for my breakfast this morning. Feeling good now. Haha. To be fair I normally end up missing breakfast if I'm honest (not good, I know) so woop woop for cereal. Grin

I have been sitting at my laptop for an hour this morning. I started off thinking that after my nice relaxing day yesterday if I worked hard this morning I could have another relaxing afternoon... No work done yet other than catch up on my emails. Though I have also found out that a house down the road is up for sale at a good chunk more than what we paid for ours a year ago... If I look at that as having made a bunch of money it's constructive right? Haha!!!

justtheonethen · 18/01/2015 10:07

Looks like I'm not going to be poas, AF has turned up 6 days early, chocolate for breakfast it is then. Sad

Stoatystoat · 18/01/2015 10:21

Sorry justtheone huge chocolate bar for you

jellypi3 · 18/01/2015 10:22

hen are you 100% sure it's AF? Could it be implantation bleed?

justtheonethen · 18/01/2015 10:46

jelly I don't know...seems like AF but came on really quickly. Perhaps a bit lighter colour than usual but bright red and quite heavy. Sorry tmi!

jellypi3 · 18/01/2015 11:04

no such thing as TMI on here.

Well gx for it being IB