Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

The 37th Just Shaggers are on their way! Watch out for accidental erections and bruising injections, polish your perfect ovaries, we're climbing a mountain and digging deeply to get our BFPs!

999 replies

honeysucklejasmine · 14/01/2015 16:46

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 36 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2263704-O-Come-all-ye-Viroids-joyful-and-triumphant-Deck-the-halls-with-Contraband-All-I-want-for-Christmas-is-a-BFP-Just-Shag-all-the-way-no36" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2272951-The-JS-Grads-turn-19-Were-cooking-and-popping-out-our-JSing-babies-with-style-co-ordinated-changing-bags-and-a-healthy-dose-of-humour" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome
OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
jellypi3 · 17/01/2015 09:30

Stoat do not feel guilty for getting upduffed, this is the one place we will never judge you. We're all so happy for you :)

Hobbit19 · 17/01/2015 09:33

Right then ladies - I'm in!! DH and I ttc#1. I stopped taking the pill early Dec and had a 38 day cycle. Currently on CD2 and not convinced cycle will be regular yet so it's hard to predict when I might ice, so we are just going to shag like guinea pigs!! Stoaty I'm so pleased for you, that must be so exciting!!

gaggiagirl · 17/01/2015 09:34

country I see, that's a loooooong way away from me.

tink if it wasn't for his awesome penis and six pack I would Grin he's officially a twatty arsehole!

Jcandy · 17/01/2015 09:37

Grrr now I'm getting annoyed! 8th day of flashy smileys...... My temp went up yesterday so suggesting I iced on CD 16 as normal and thought the contraband had just missed it. But temp back down this morning Sad no idea what's going on! Flashy smiley again this morning on CD 18. I guess this is why we just shag! Keeping up every other day for now.

Welcome pud!

RhiannonElward · 17/01/2015 09:45

Stoaty I hope you didn't pay any attention to the Daily Mail and it's hateshite opinions, you're living proof they spout arse and then more arse on a daily basis.

I can't believe your oh is asleep, mine would do the same though. He can always sleep through any major upheaval but not so much as a ticking clock. Freak.

Anyway, I hope you stick around before you graduate to the Pregnancy section, we could all do with some of your luck rubbing off on this here Fred if you don't mind Smile

Poochieblue · 17/01/2015 09:45

thanks for the explanation chat that makes sense!
Poas this am BFN as we thought. still very slightly spotting and now have AF cramps. seriously WTAF is going on?!! haven't felt one twinge the last few days or leading up to AF. now I do?! my body is sooooo backwards! going to blag the DR's head Tuesday haha!

massive congrats stoaty hope you enjoyed that gin hehe! don't feel guilty for BFP! once you're one of us we just get pleased for you Grin

welcome pud take a seat Grin

lol at gaggia and twatty arsehole! I have one of them at times too! currently still in bed as is more likely to be even twattier if woken on day off!

jellypi3 · 17/01/2015 09:48

Urgh still got AF, this is pissing me off now. She's been super light for 2 days now but every time I wipe it's very fresh and red, so might not be donning the cape tonight as expected.

Purple how you feeling?

jellypi3 · 17/01/2015 09:49

welcome pud :)

RhiannonElward · 17/01/2015 09:52

aww, unlucky Poochie better luck next month, I think I might start a coven where we can all go to burn our bfn sticks.

Go and speak to the dr is the best bet, I had a crazy period last month and managed to convince myself it wasn't a proper one, just having a chat assured me I was normal and good to go for next month (though he did a test just in case). Just talking it through with someone really helps I think, all the stressing is just going to throw things off a little more.

Stoatystoat · 17/01/2015 10:24

I won't feel guilty, just lucky in an unsmug way. There seems to be very little rhyme or reason over this whole malarkey. I hope to have some company throughout this whole thing, I'm bloody clueless...hurry up ladies! I did not of course listen to the DM, and am happy to prove it wrong. It's my life's mission.

Last night's gin was lovely. Oh Gordon, I think I'm going to miss you most of all. Just found one random miniature gin, one of those small bottles of prosecco (supposed to have been for tonight) and a bottle of champagne left over from Christmas.

DH finally up now, and so unfazed. He's very, very laid back. He's less shocked than me - I think he had such confidence in his swimmers. I feel sooooo dehydrated.

Anyway will be sticking around to watch your progress & you never know, this might be chemical or not stick so might have to JS some more.

australopithecus · 17/01/2015 10:35

The daily mail said I was too old.
Honestly, wtf do they know about anything? Well done stoat!

jellypi3 · 17/01/2015 10:53

Well when you feel up to it go and introduce yourself to the grads Stoat. They are a great group :) We will all join you over there soon

LaLa5 · 17/01/2015 10:59

Daily Fail know fuck all! Plenty of us in grads 34 and upwards!

They make it up as they go along.

Congrats stoat!!!

Hi everyone else! Get shagging everyone, would be lovely to see you all move over to grads x

LaLa5 · 17/01/2015 11:02

Poochie any chance it's ib?

Stoat bad back was one of my first pg symptoms along with blocked nose for no reason (frigging pg rhinitis which is still making my nights a misery)

Gaggia - perform press ups on him until he gives in or threaten to set Cunthawk on him

Jcandy keep shagging!

Pud hi! waves

Stoatystoat · 17/01/2015 11:16

lala that's good to know. It was a dull ache last Sunday but wasn't bad, just like what you get for AF...I was even okay running on Monday and then spent Tuesday lugging around my nephew...and had to spend Wednesday and Thursday bed ridden. started to improve yesterday and today, it only really hurts getting up. Wondering if I can run or not once it is better....supposing this isn't going to be the whole time

Hobbit19 · 17/01/2015 11:22

Hi everyone! (Waves back) I hope you can keep running stoaty, I am worried that I will become a big unfit lump if/when I do get upduffed. My inner - lazy is strong!

Stoatystoat · 17/01/2015 11:23

Me too pud it keeps me semi sane! Hope you're up duffed soon!

TinkerBlue · 17/01/2015 11:34

Hi pud Smile

So, after 2 months my referral came through. For whilst we're on hols. Gah! Can't call til Mon to rearrange, at least they haven't forgotten me this time though!!

LaLa5 · 17/01/2015 11:44

Stoat it's fine to do any exercise you normally do, as your body's used to it. You're advised against starting running if you don't normally so you'll be fine Grin

lildottie · 17/01/2015 11:57

Hi All
pooch what chat said, it's a test to make sure you are immune. AMH is the measure of ovarian reserve/quality. some do day 3 tests for lh/fsh instead of or as well as amh. i didnt have lh or fsh tested. but i had a really high amh so i guess they werent worried

dulcet i checked the date on them again and only expired dec 14 so I think i'll hang onto them to fuel my poas addiction after the real bfp - then i'll trust them if they're positive but not if they are bfns haha!

Tink what on earth does LTB mean? i've seen it a few times now and can't work it out! good news on the appt coming through, even if you have to change it, at least you are in the system!

lildottie · 17/01/2015 11:59

Oh forgot to say congrats stoat! fantastic news! and definitely don't feel guilty for getting upduffed so quickly although how bloody dare you :P
I can honestly say that every bfp on here makes me happy someone else won't have to face what I have, because quite frankly ITS BLOODY BORING!!! Lol

SunshinePickle · 17/01/2015 12:18

Woo hoo! Congratulations stoat!

TinkerBlue · 17/01/2015 12:33

Leave the bastard!

jellypi3 · 17/01/2015 12:35

Anyone ever tried the home sperm test kits? Saw one in boots and dp wants to try them but I'm not too convinced.

honeysucklejasmine · 17/01/2015 12:36

Congratulations Stoat! Check you out!

Gaggia tell him he's an a-hole, from me.

Lil it means "leave the bastard".

OP posts: