The 37th Just Shaggers are on their way! Watch out for accidental erections and bruising injections, polish your perfect ovaries, we're climbing a mountain and digging deeply to get our BFPs!

[honeysucklejasmine]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 36 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2263704-O-Come-all-ye-Viroids-joyful-and-triumphant-Deck-the-halls-with-Contraband-All-I-want-for-Christmas-is-a-BFP-Just-Shag-all-the-way-no36" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2272951-The-JS-Grads-turn-19-Were-cooking-and-popping-out-our-JSing-babies-with-style-co-ordinated-changing-bags-and-a-healthy-dose-of-humour" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome

Yes, you have a very familiar turn of phrase I'm assuming you're from the North East? gaggia has a similar twang I am from staffs but not the "duck" part of staffs! I'll leave that to pooch

Goodness me I haven't checked in for aaaaages, where does time go?! How is everyone? It just took me about 4 hours to read back, woo hoop to purple on the BFP, awesome news! Keeping everything crossed for you!

Don't even know what I've been up to that has kept me away for so long. Pretty much working and doing horrid 6am exercise which I absolutely can't stand.

Started temping a few days ago, can't be arsed with doing it at the same time every day because some days I get up at 5.15am for aforementioned horrid exercise and although I could very easily shove the thermometer in my gob and then go back to sleep when it's beeped, the alarm wakes up the hubby and he doesn't sleep again so easily. So I'm just doing it at whatever time I wake up and hoping for the best. Strange results so far - a mega hot day followed by a mega cold day followed by some warmer days but I've only just started so no point trying to spot any patterns. I do love my graphs though so it's providing me with a lot of geeky enjoyment. Also bought some preseed and haven't the foggiest when to use it - lots of ewcm today so I guess I squirt a bit of goo up there as well to make it extra gloopy?! Suppose it makes sense to use it at fertile times! I suppose I must ice late - CD17 today and first sign of ewcm. All rather baffling hey!

Enjoy your Friday nights, anyone up to anything fun this weekend? In between all the shagging?

Bat, what's with all the exercise if you hate it? You must have very good willpower - NY resolution by any chance?

Stoat gx for you! This needs to be a lucky fred!!

I will be back shagging tomorrow, so a day behind you Honey. I hope that the fecking monitor gives me a peak this time round. I will start panicking if it misses it this time (combining efforts with temping too...two days on the trot, lil you would be proud!)

Ah ha complete opposite. I'm a south west girl. I rob sayings from all over . I don't say little I say wee and enjoy using pet :)

Jelly I'm CD5, what are you? Seems we might be in sync again!

town it's kind of a recurring resolution - I go through cycles of getting fit and thinner and then sitting on my ever expanding arse and getting fatter - and then having to start all over again! But unfortunately I just hate exercising so really have to force myself, I am doing it with some friends this time but it's still pretty rubbish. And I love my bed so much so getting up at that time kills me - but if I exercise after work then I spend all day coming up with excuses not to. There are no legitimate excuses at 6am really other than I really don't want to haha. I also work quite long hours so evenings aren't so good!

Fingers crossed with your monitor this month jelly - you defo deserve your BFP soon with all your amazing shagging efforts!

Thanks for the gx ducks! I am from Yorkshire/Derbyshire so yes we say duck. The cramps keep coming, so fully expecting spoiled PJs in the morning.

It's expected to snow here but hoping to go for lunch and drinks. Until my back gets better, shagging and running are out of the window. It's improved since yesterday, mild ache that intensifies when I get up...so I should just lay down! What are you planning batfish?

Hi bat

We have the snow. Lost control of the car today. Boo! All ended well but for a moment I thought I was to meet a very cold wet end in the canal!

Sounds like we have a similar day planned stoat - am off for a nice lunch and a few afternoon drinkies tomorrow with with the girls, can't wait! No snow though. Rubbish about your back, hope it eases soon!

Phewwwww tink that you're ok after your little car slide! Stay away from the canals! You should practice skiing

Sounds fun! I've got DH for company so will drink many cocktails to his pints! I love afternoon drinking, anything that means I'm home and in pjs for 9

stoaty you a girl after my own heart!

Honey I'm CD4 today, so 1 day behind (we are good aren't we!). Although my CBFM says CD3 because AF started in the afternoon and apparently it can't cope with that level of craziness.

Bat i bloody well hope so. Seeing someone on their 7th fecking baby today made me so unreasonably jealous.

Tink my current ROC is a deodorant lid so i'm fairly boring in that regard. I'm going to go on the hunt for a more interesting ROC.

Gosh Tink! Be careful!

Jelly, Af due 6th Feb, how about you?

According to FF 7th!

The house is now dry of gin.

jelly you're not unreasonable! your turn soon.

Is ROC essential? I was planning to piss on my hand use the stream

Wow tink scary! Are you ok??

tink I'm here! But a big "go on lass!" To you all!.
EWCM today. DP wont shag me though. Man flu. Twat. That's another cycle wasted
But another reason to buy leather leggings! I am noomi rapace WIN!.

stoat ROC's are needed for IC's or they flood too easily. Yours should be fine mid stream though.

ga that's shit :( can't you charm him with your womanly ways?

I'm going to wear my leather leggings tomorrow! Thanks for the reminder. I too am noomi. Come on GaggiaBoy, sort it out!

Thanks for the how to wee tutorial! I don't think I'll ever be organised enough to buy ICs ahead of needing them and am determined to buy them on a needs must basis.

Ooh, I can't drink in the afternoon, come to think of it I'm not very good at it at any time of day.

This weekend, I will be shagging tonight, entertaining friends tomorrow, on Sunday I have my son's 5th birthday party (his birthday was yesterday), then a drive to take my friends home, then back for more shagging. Sunday's shagging is almost certainly going to be a dismal affair after such a busy day, I think we might both be weeping throughout.

Hope all of you have a good one, fx for all those about to test, will be looking forward to some good news from you all.

stoat, I'm with you, my house is a IC/FRER free zone after last cycle, when I discovered that if I had one in the house, I couldn't resist POAS. Needs must is the way forward this cycle! gx for you, 2nd bfp for this fred coming your way.

bat I'm very impressed. I also work fairly long hours... but there's no way I can face getting up that early for exercise. Maybe I should consider it, feeling fat and lardy.

tink scary stuff! You take care on those snowy roads. I'm down south, don't think there's anything but rain forcast in my neck of the woods.

alright me ducks? hehe! oohhhh no I may be from a duck area but I've never said it and quickly trained DH to stop too lol!

ok so heads in the shed. the last couple of cycles AF has been getting shorter and lighter. this month I had spotting weds, the lightest of flows yesterday (1 regular plug used - used to be a super plus girl!) and back to spotting today. that's not a good sign is it? should I book to see the Dr and have a chat? what do you viroids think?