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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

The 37th Just Shaggers are on their way! Watch out for accidental erections and bruising injections, polish your perfect ovaries, we're climbing a mountain and digging deeply to get our BFPs!

999 replies

honeysucklejasmine · 14/01/2015 16:46

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like <strong>something</strong> = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

The link to Part 36 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2263704-O-Come-all-ye-Viroids-joyful-and-triumphant-Deck-the-halls-with-Contraband-All-I-want-for-Christmas-is-a-BFP-Just-Shag-all-the-way-no36" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2272951-The-JS-Grads-turn-19-Were-cooking-and-popping-out-our-JSing-babies-with-style-co-ordinated-changing-bags-and-a-healthy-dose-of-humour" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome
OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Stoatystoat · 16/01/2015 11:14

ROFL at the Holy Shit Sex Marathon, hello rhiannon

I'm off work again with my back...I now have stomach cramps so the witch is on her way...

RhiannonElward · 16/01/2015 11:34

Thanks for the welcome, much appreciated :D

Stoaty Let's hope your back is better by the time the witch buggers off so you can get right back in the game, it must be very frustrating for you.

Jelly I very much doubt it's a bfp, but that's not stopping me from counting the hours down to certainty. I am supposed to ring after 2pm but already coming up with excuses to ring before. Oh I am becoming exactly the sort of silly arse I am trying hardest not to be...

RhiannonElward · 16/01/2015 16:26

Well, I got my bfn, best tidy up my ladypart for later....

Stoatystoat · 16/01/2015 16:33

Aw hope you're okay rhiannon. I'm making a mental checklist of all the things I can do tomorrow once I get my BFN. Going to go to
Topshop and buy something impractical and then go for lunch with an espresso martini, mojito, pate. Basically if it's not the done thing to do once up duffed. Your point about tidying up reminds me I need to book in to see my waxing lady for when the witch has departed.

lildottie · 16/01/2015 16:59

I've just tidied out the bathroom cupboards. I have a 2pack of Tesco hpts in there that are out of date by a few months. bought them 1st month of trying when af was late and I wasn't temping etc . just goes to show how long its been! but, do I bin them? I have about 50 ics if that makes a difference?

honeysucklejasmine · 16/01/2015 17:15

Welcome Rhiannon! You have made me giggle. Sorry to hear about your bfn though.

Jelly just shoot them, the super fertile bastards

Lil, out of date, throw away!

OP posts:
TinkerBlue · 16/01/2015 17:17

Welcome newbies

Keep them lil I used boots opk out of date and they worked as normal. Will you poas this time or do they do bloods/scans etc? I guess you can use them in early pg to reassure yourself if your bfp comes from bloods. Or you could use them after transfer, when it's too early really but you can't helpyourself Wink
I have an out of date digi that I am convinced will be my bfp piss stick!

RhiannonElward · 16/01/2015 17:18

Thanks Stoaty it hasn't been too bad because I was resigned to my bfn, I'm actually happy at the minute, I am now clear that I want a baby asap, but I'm also really enjoying the process with dp. We're spending more quality time alone together this month than we have in the previous year probably, and we're definitely closer for it. I'm scared of losing our mojo though, so I'm constantly trying to seduce him in weird and wonderful ways. Tonight I am the bottom inspector, I have made myself a photo ID and a hat. If I am sectioned by morning, it has been nice meeting you all.

Stoatystoat · 16/01/2015 17:25

I feel the same as you rhiannon, DH and I had a rocky time of it but the last year pre TTC have been getting closer and this last couple of months has been awesome. We too are spending more time together than ever and are more of a couple than ever so if nothing else comes out of it for a while, then it's not been fruitless. It's good that you're enjoying the process. I just hope I keep that mindset! Maybe I need to get a bit more imaginative though...

jellypi3 · 16/01/2015 17:37

keep them lil it's like nostalgia lol!

honey i was sorely tempted!

CountryGal4 · 16/01/2015 17:52

jelly 7? 7?!!!? First of all really 7 wow that is a noisy house. Secondly ruuuude. Share the fertility wealth.

I only know people with kids who had them by accident.....

LaLa5 · 16/01/2015 17:53

Hi newbies! Just checking in to say hi. Jelly glad af has fucked off.

Rhi so sorry about your bfn :(

Hade so sorry for your loss, gx for you on this Fred.

offers bump for people to rub for luck if they want?

I feel sick, think I need to eat more cake

jellypi3 · 16/01/2015 18:29

More cake is always good la.

Yep 7 country. How fucking greedy is that.

australopithecus · 16/01/2015 18:53

lil I'd use them to check something fun. Like if your DH is ovulating.

Stoatystoat · 16/01/2015 18:55

My DH wants to POAS himself Hmm

I'm fighting the urge to POAS. 12 hours til I'm supposed to....

TinkerBlue · 16/01/2015 19:09

stoat are you our great white hope? Are there other poasers this weekend? Sorry for bfn's ladies, I'm not being very good at keeping up at the mo, just reading last few posts! Sorry that I missed them, hope you're all feeling pma for new cycles!
I am drinking prosecco, because I can. If I can't get upduffed then I may as well enjoy it!
aus I might try that, I have some ic opks that came yesterday so may test them on Dh! I need a new roc first. What is everyone using these days? I need something inventive to make me smile and bring me luck! Can't remember who it was that took great pleasure from pissing on Nigel farage?

honeysucklejasmine · 16/01/2015 19:12

Ooooh stoaty! Gx for POAS action!

We're due the first shag on the cycle tonight. Here we go again! Wink

OP posts:
Stoatystoat · 16/01/2015 19:14

Oh don't pin it on me, it's only our first month and who knows if I've done it right?! I have 27 or 28 day cycles, today is 27. Going to do it in the morning unless the witch arrives which I feel she will, I'm crampy. Nice work on the prosecco, I've a little bottle of that which I'm having with elderflower. Lush.

Stoatystoat · 16/01/2015 19:14

It is best to wait for morning isn't it?

TinkerBlue · 16/01/2015 19:16

Is it a frer? If so you can use it anytime, if not wait for the unicorn. Gingers firmly crossed.

honeysucklejasmine · 16/01/2015 19:17

Yes, morning wee, unless you have a frer which works any time but better in morning.

OP posts:
Stoatystoat · 16/01/2015 19:18

I got a superdrug one. Morning it is. Cheers for advising this numpty

CountryGal4 · 16/01/2015 19:25

honey back on the horse aye. Thinking fertile thoughts

stoaty good luck pet!

TinkerBlue · 16/01/2015 19:31

gaggia is that you with a nc lass? Grin back on the horse is a saying for resuming the shagging round here too!
So roc 1st choice is a boring plastic pot from a long forgotten takeaway. Didn't know I had anything so perfect for the job. I am a grown up apparently!

CountryGal4 · 16/01/2015 19:36

Tinker were you talking to me then??

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