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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

The Truth about Um Bongo, Broken Penises and Sad Fleas - it's all here, just don't talk about the Elephant in the Womb! Pee on Nigel Farage (or in a Thermos), and Join the Bonkers Bonkers for JS 30!

999 replies

ChatEnOeuf · 15/10/2014 18:02

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo


ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development!

The link to Part 29 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2198677-Jizz-in-your-eyes-raining-out-of-your-arse-or-just-feeling-boggin-Come-and-join-the-JSers-for-fun-and-frolics-And-some-of-them-drooling-over-Ian-McShane-whoever-he-may-be-Its-Just-Shagging-29" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2202292-Just-Shagging-Grads-thread-No-13-for-upduffed-viroids" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!
OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
jellypi3 · 20/10/2014 07:22

Oo wiggly that's extremely positive :) gx for you x

honeysucklejasmine · 20/10/2014 07:39

Wow Wiggly! Now that really is a MFBFP!

TinkerBlue · 20/10/2014 07:47

Congratulations wiggly you must be ecstatic xx

wilmabedrock · 20/10/2014 07:50

Congratulations Wiggly!

lildottie · 20/10/2014 09:18

no mistaking that one wiggly!! Grin

Nessalina · 20/10/2014 10:27

Marvellous!! Grin That's a line that means business - congratulations!
sends out lots of positive vibes

glidingpig · 20/10/2014 10:38

Wiggly you are knocked up! Yay! Crossing sticky gingers!

Khbutterfly11 · 20/10/2014 14:00

yay wiggly!!! gx for full stickiness!!!

ChatEnOeuf · 20/10/2014 15:30

Brilliant! Hope this one sticks around for the full nine :)

OP posts:
Leela5 · 20/10/2014 16:38

Hooya needed! I'm imagining stabby boobs.

Temperature doesn't show icing this month, not sure if it's possible to still have iced anyway. Lots of ewcm.

Stupid wtf cycle, messing with my poor yearning boobies

gaggiagirl · 20/10/2014 17:03

I can't possibly hooya the la!

congrats on the bfps wiggly and rm that's lovely news!

My uterus is now shiny clean and empty which I'm grateful for. I can crack on with my life now. I quite fancy jumping DP but I presume that's hormones?

ChatEnOeuf · 20/10/2014 17:40

Even if it is hormones, do as they direct gaggia, whatever heals you Thanks

Wouldn't dare, La - unless you send me one right back. I'm all dooming and glooming over the complete absence of symptoms, late BFP, it's clearly a chemical...argh!

OP posts:
mountaingirl01 · 20/10/2014 17:54

Only a gentle one la I might have been the same myself today

wiggly third times the charm, congratulations :) seriously though 3/3?? Does your man have super sperm?

gaggia go for it! You never know what those hormones are plotting

Leela5 · 20/10/2014 18:04

chat it's very early and don't forget last time you had stronger symptoms because you had twins. Try not to worry x

gaggia I would do whatever you feel like doing. As long as you're not in pain then go with your feelings. Everyone is different. Hope scan was ok Flowers

If there is a baby in me it's pickled. Drank half bottle of champagne last night. Most I've drunk in two months

gaggiagirl · 20/10/2014 18:45

la scan was ok really the scan person was a MAN! He was bloody fabulous. So kind. It was internal but I felt nowt. Probably because I'm dead hard me Grin.
I'm also enjoying booze!

Leela5 · 20/10/2014 18:46

Just realised how drugging insensitive that was! Of course you're not going to forget, what a stupid phrase to have used sorry :(

Sorry chat x

Leela5 · 20/10/2014 18:46

Drugging? Meant frigging

Leela5 · 20/10/2014 18:47

Whatever gets you through gaggia :) I ate lots if chocolate. I never normally eat chocolate

cookielove · 20/10/2014 18:49

gaggia so sorry to hear your sad news, fx a bfp heads your way soon :)

TinkerBlue · 20/10/2014 19:30

I hate twotting!! No symptoms to spot even Hmm. 8dpo and the only straw I can clutch at is no hurty boobs, normally have them by now if af is on her way. Had a shooty pain in left pelvic area yesterday but if I'm honest twas prob wind Grin

Glad you chaps that have been through the mill lately are doing ok.

gaggia you're a champ Smile

chat I'm sure you'll be great - I bet in a few months when you're on the porcelain phone talking to God you'll miss these symptom free days!! Grin pma xxx

ChatEnOeuf · 20/10/2014 19:39

Not insensitive at all, entirely reasonable :) I just have a sense of impending badness, can't put my finger on it. Doesn't help that I feel like absolute shit this evening, really washed out - like AF has pulled in for the week. Bit of dk brown spotting which I'm praying is nothing as I know there will be nothing on scan for at least another week if at all.

Sorry, I'm a bit of a misery guts this evening.

OP posts:
WigglyBraddins · 20/10/2014 20:01

chat big hugs for feeling of impending badness. I know what you mean. FX it's nothing and all goes well.

gaggia trust your horn Smile. Go with whatever feels right. No idea when I iced in my WTF cycles but I have a feeling it was earlier than usual. So if hormones are telling you to do it and you want to do it then get your spanking disco pants on. Glad you had a good scan experience. It's still an emotional roller coaster. Hugs for you.

Tink love what you said about porcelain phone. And you never know, no symptoms may be good symptoms.

Aw, really feeling the love for you viroids tonight. Thank you for all your lovely thoughts. Big smoochy kisses to you all.

TinkerBlue · 20/10/2014 20:24

Aahh wiggly pregnancy has made you go all soft! smoochy kisses backatcha

Now then; bets please for the results on soft wigglys digi tomorrow. I'm going to go with 2-3 GrinGrinWink
Seriously though, good luck with the digi. And from what I hear (no bfp experience at all here) digis aren't very sensitive so make sure you don't freak out if you don't register on it yet. You might only be a week after implantation from what you said? Gx xxx

WigglyBraddins · 20/10/2014 20:27

Let's do it Tink...place your bets now!

wilmabedrock · 20/10/2014 21:47

La I love your post on the teaching thread. OP is either a muppet or a troll!