The Truth about Um Bongo, Broken Penises and Sad Fleas - it's all here, just don't talk about the Elephant in the Womb! Pee on Nigel Farage (or in a Thermos), and Join the Bonkers Bonkers for JS 30!

[ChatEnOeuf]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development!

The link to Part 29 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2198677-Jizz-in-your-eyes-raining-out-of-your-arse-or-just-feeling-boggin-Come-and-join-the-JSers-for-fun-and-frolics-And-some-of-them-drooling-over-Ian-McShane-whoever-he-may-be-Its-Just-Shagging-29" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2202292-Just-Shagging-Grads-thread-No-13-for-upduffed-viroids" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Don't worry about the wine La - I drank a whooooole bottle of red on top of my poor pre-bfp frembryo, remember?

la mountain I am currently sipping a sherry, guilt free. It is not wine, therefore an improvement in my book. That is my story and I'm sticking to it.
dulcet I can't keep hitting refresh, I will break mumsnet.

LOL tink

Well you have been getting a good porking la, what with the TTC so it could be that...

Ok, forgive me viroids for I have sinned (and then been deliberately cryptic about it!) even though it's through omission rather than lies.

I started to POAS Monday, just a IC you know, like we do. I thought I could see something but wasn't sure. Then by Tuesday I cracked open the FR and there was no question then. Been doing IC since then and it is indeed getting darker. AF not due until today so was waiting to see if she turned up but nothing yet. Not done a digi to see it in writing, that is a weekend job if I get that far.

Am obviously terrified, but hoping for 3rd time lucky. I think the first MC must have kick-started something in my ovaries to aid the getting pregnant, now just have to concentrate on keeping it in there! If it's not one problem it's the other!

I hope the saintly shagging collective can forgive me and understand.

dulcet whatever is going on if you don't want our pestering on top of the pressure we will shut up! But oh my god I have all my mother f*ing gingers frigging crossed.

Popz love it! Bork. Much better than boak!

X posted - oh my frogging godfathers! Hooray!!!!

In case that wasn't clear - BFP!

Eek I'm so excited I could wee myself!

Ok, now we are just cross posting all over the place!

(Translated as congratulations lovely dulcet!)

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!!

Sending superglue based vibes all over you Dulcey!!!!

Oooh err

Ewwww sounds mucky popz! But thanks!

I obviously have the worries though so I may not seem a very happy BFP - but I am! Just experience so far not been great!

Can you give stats dulcet?

Omfg!! Tentative congratulations you little beauty!!
In the words of the great philosopher that is meatloaf "2 out of 3 ain't bad" (that's dulcet and bother out of the 3 pissers for this week, honey I've not forgotten you but I'm guessing still no news and the loafs lyrics don't stretch to 4)

Right, I'm with la, shutting up now, you tell us when you're ready, we'll pretend it's a surprise

Ah, we all get the worries. You have more reason than most. Crossing EVERYTHING POSSIBLE. So happy for you miss xxx

(I am very quietly thrilled dulcet)!!

Brackets clearly means whisper...

Am also further tempting sod law with a glass of red...join us mountain!!

Btw, soy isywotnots are a supplement to help with icing. There are other Fred's that seem to keep getting upduffed taking them so if I'm contraband free this cycle,and boringly sober once the sherry goes then I thought a dabble for one cycle might not hurt?
Dr Google gave me the science bit and I thought - I'm worth it! Cue much hair swishing

Ooh, right cheered up after that bit of news xxx

Ah yes, the stats. Here we go:

TTC since March-ish 2012. First pregnancy MC July 2014 (MMC 7wks discovered at 11wks), second MC Aug 2014 at 6wks, now third BFP!

Usually short LP (10 days) but I think the MC have some how helped that so below isn't representative of my normal cycle.

AF CD 1-5
DTD CD10, 14, 16
Pos opk CD15 - ovulation pain felt like my kidneys. Was pretty painful.
Faint BFP CD25/10dpo

So I won't win SOTM but was perhaps targeted enough to do the job. We were in York at the time too!

Now obviously googling everything I might be able to do to help. Baby aspirin here I come!

I did look earlier and saw you went as far back as js Fred 14 dulcet, do you precede preseed hee hee lil?

I think so. I was pre-Horace getting upduffed if you remember her coming in. I disappeared for a couple months in there as I got grumpy about TTC and got married instead! But I've been around a while.

Yeahhh! Go dulcet

Viroids I craved. Instead of going out on bike like I should I stayed in and shared a bottle with dh god knows how I'll do it if I ever do get upduffed!