The Truth about Um Bongo, Broken Penises and Sad Fleas - it's all here, just don't talk about the Elephant in the Womb! Pee on Nigel Farage (or in a Thermos), and Join the Bonkers Bonkers for JS 30!

[ChatEnOeuf]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development!

The link to Part 29 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2198677-Jizz-in-your-eyes-raining-out-of-your-arse-or-just-feeling-boggin-Come-and-join-the-JSers-for-fun-and-frolics-And-some-of-them-drooling-over-Ian-McShane-whoever-he-may-be-Its-Just-Shagging-29" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a2202292-Just-Shagging-Grads-thread-No-13-for-upduffed-viroids" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

morning viroids

can't believe there's been 2 BFPs & and reinstated BFP over the weekend!!

Congrats chat, bother & fatty

gaggia glad you're back on the horse awesome penis, so to speak

purple hope that banjo heals up in time for jsing...GX!

la & mountain make that a 3 way ice fest on Friday - can we be the 3 TWOTTING amigos??

Yeh I use those cheapy ones from Amazon :P Because they are like 10p a stick you do go a bit POAS mad though lol

Ha ha yup! I'm feeling a bit miserable and defeated today, even though its beautiful outside and I've no definitive reason to be. Just miserable. Why is ttc hard?

does anyone ever suffer with ttc guilt - what i mean by that is, when we're dtd there's a tiny tiny part of my brain that is worried that my DH will think i only want to because we're ttc!? i know that sounds crazy, and in reality my DH is actually probably just chuffed he's getting it more regular on certain weeks lol but the thought is still there - is it just me?! i don't mind if it is, i have been known to have strange thoughts before i was just wondering?! xxx

Kh temping is really useful as it helps you corn icing (although didn't predict it - hence people use opks), plus you can tell whether likely pg or not following twot - temp dips back down towards af. I like temping because I get overall picture of what's happening with that and monitoring cm. Fertility friend app is great if temping

Noniks and mountain you're my POAS buddies!

Noniks and mountain you're my POAS buddies!

Kh - confirm icing not corn it! :)

bother course we want you to stay! And it's normal to feel anxious, don't worry. Many folk don't find out about being upduffed til much later I'm sure you've done no harm

thanks la am going to buy a thermometer and download FF app will consider opk's once i've got to grips with that i think :-D
x

Kh temping is definitely the way forward, but I recommend using opks for a month or two in order that you can get an idea of what your temps/cm mean. Dual hormonetypes are more expensive but less hit or miss.

I am a terrible jser

Go the 3 amigos! Loving this idea. There will be mn triplets within the fortnight

Afternoon Viroids.

Saw the GP this afternoon who said all my hormone levels were normal and so no reason for recurrent miscarriage there. I POAS again today in a paranoid way (only symptoms are feeling really light headed when I stand and constipation...bring on the prunes) and got an instant BFP so the bean is still sticking at the moment despite having had that bleed that I thought was AF. 6 weeks and 3 days today so she said the best thing I could do is as little as possible! And definitely no housework or heavy lifting.

Reckon I might just have to face facts and head over to the grads Fred...although I will keep checking back because I have a feeling in my water that there will be more BFPs to come on this Fred. Here's a pic of McSHane for luck. And a website for all your McShane wallpaper needs www.yuchtar.com/McShane6.html

Gonna get soppy now in a very unMN way...but you have been so supportive and kind and helpful and lovely. Thank you

Keep in touch wiggly! Good luck and glad all is looking well!! Xx

Yay Wiggly! So long, farewell,auf wiedersehen, good night.

Its exciting to move to the grads thread! No offence but hope i don't see you again until i graduate too!

CD11 here. Is it possible to ov after mc? If it is then yay cos I've done loads of sex! Thats the magic of the moomin pyjamas

Why would you not ov after mc?

gaggia I've got pregnant twice in WTF cycles so definitely yes to ovulating after mc.

honey no offence taken, I hope so too

gaggia your first cycle might be a bit odd. I'm on cd30 and I think I only iced 3 days ago .

Viroids I'm winding myself up looking at calendars. I haven't had ov confirmed yet coz of wtf cycle but think I iced cd25 or cd27. We dtd cd23 and cd27 so I either did it 2 days before (good) or 4 days before and on day of ov (not so good). Has anyone got pg from dtd 4 days before ov?

Oh my god only just saw Ian McDreamyface photo, that's an oldie!

Glad all looking good wiggly! Wishing you a super and healthy pregnancy. See you on the grads thread!!

Must say I'm not sad to see you go wiggly I'm so happy for you x hopefully we will all join you soon xx

Like anyone actually LEAVES this thread!!

Morning viroids. Went out for dinner last night. Mid way through my meal I had the most agonising pain in my lower abdomen uterus area. Felt like I was being squeezed from the inside. That managed to nicely ruin my dinner! Feel very gassy this morning now, much to DP's amusement.

Hope you all have a great Tuesday!

Sounds like ovulation jelly! Friday I was in agony - stupidly wore tight jeans on night out. Was in so much pain, bloating, boobs hurting etc. turns out i was icing

Temps staying up and ff reckon I iced sat cd28 which means we dtd day before - yessssss! Perfick.

Morning viroids, today we're going to Luxembourg